I'm at my wits end. My ex and I broke it off for good (it was off and on for quite a while) at the end of april, so almost 5 months ago. We still talked occassionally (on friendly terms) and in the beginning had the odd night together, until I told him that it was too hard for me to see him and watch him move on, as I couldn't stop thinking about him. He understood that I couldn't speak to him anymore, and made the dumb move of telling me he loved me. So.. we haven't spoken since then (about 3 weeks) and I'm still going nuts. Part of me wants to grasp on to whatevers left (if that's even anything)and try to make something of it because I wouldn't feel this way about someone if it wasn't for a reason, but a big part of me thinks it's only going to be another emotional roller coaster and I shouldn't bother...
really, I'm crying out for someone to yell at me and tell me I'm being an idiot and not talking to him is the way to go. Knock some sense into me please? anyone?

If it was bad and there were good reasons to end it, then you should try your best to ignore him. The only way to get over him is not to see or talk to him at all. Which it sounds like your doing. So stick with it. You'll feel shitty for awhile but it'll pass. Find things to do to try and keep your mind from wandering back to him. Hopefully it works out for you.

why did it end in the first place? if it was for a good reason, then you should stop talking to him and you should avoid seeing him, even on friendly terms. you'll never get over him otherwise.
you'll cry, you'll miss him. but this is the only way to move on and look forward.

It's easy to forget the bad things about him, but that's what you need to focus on right now.

exes are exes for a reason!!
remember the reasons during your moment of weakness!
Start arranging more time with friends so you wont be tempted to hang out with him just for the sake of hanging out.

If you and him were meant to be together, it wouldn't have been off and on for so long, and you wouldn't have broken up. If you continue to drag this out, it WILL be just more emotional rollercoaster for you. You have to just let it go and move on. Not talking to him or seeing him at all would be a good idea.

I'm in a very similar situation myself babe. Some people you just can't get out of your head. Who knows if you ever will? Remember why you split up. Was it for a reason that's changed now?

If you really think it could work never say never. However, if you're being unrealistic and just missing the "being close to someone" part, you really shouldn't go back to them. But just because you make this decision doesn't mean you won't think about them.

I know my ex is a disaster area but I love him. I'll always love him even though we do each others heads in (I think it's because we know each other so well). That's just how it is.

It's not easy so don't delude yourself that you've made the wrong choice because it's hard; it just is. But it does get better. The best way to feel better is to have a fling to take your mind off it but when this fizzles out which rebounds often do it may leave you feeling that you want him back again. You need to find yourself again and be happy being you before it really feels good to be by yourself. Then you're ready to get fucked up all over again.

Ah love, it's so beautifully painful

Hope that helps... teehee At least I can honestly say you're not alone in this. Good luck in whatever choice you make. I really hope it makes you smile xx

this is the best advice, assuming it ended on crappy terms, for a crappy reason. how did it end lady??? and why???

I had a jealous streak, he had a good friend that was a girl and never thought that maybe I would want to meet her since he hung out with her so much. Anyways, we really didn't have much in common, and after a while, not much to talk about because we had very little in common.. but nevertheless, it blows.. and it's been far too long in my opinion for me to still be feeling this way. Thank you all for your realistic advice.. that didn't stop me from answering his phone call the other night, but it was fine. Very much just a catch-up, "how's stuff" conversation... that I will try very hard not to repeat.

Just like with substances, we CAN get addicted to people. And people are harder to detox from than drugs and alcohol because they walk, talk, and can do things like call you and reach out.

Right now, you are going through that cycle of addiction to "him." The high that you get when you even HEAR from him...the one word he says that can set you off for days...weeks even!

I think that either you run with it in your head...let yourself go there, instead of beating yourself up or calling yourself weak for thinking about being with him. But really and honestly think it through...picture being with him, THEN actual conversations you guys would have, and THEN socializing with your and his friends, and THEN ALL OF THE ISSUES that go with it. Really be real about it though.

If that still doesn't work, maybe you need more time with this person. It won't be magical, I'll guarantee. That jig is up because your blinders are gone. Maybe you just haven't hit rock bottom yet. I think if you're fighting it though, there is a rock bottom to be hit, ya know? I don't think he's gonna turn into Mr. Wonderful or Mr. Perfect for you.

I had similar feelings with my ex...we broke up over something stupid that he said, which at the time hurt me a lot. My friend had passed away last July (2006) and when I needed him the most, not only was he not there for support, but he made a comment to me saying that it's "not important", "stop overracting...4 of my (his) friends had died" etc. etc...putting my friend down etc. etc. It hurt me at the time and I hadn't forgiven him until pretty recently.

Before I got with the man I am with now, he (ex) and I were talking getting pretty chummy and we wanted to hang out with eachother, but it never did end up happening. part of me wanted to hang out with him again and part of me didn't. I guess I was afraid of falling in love with him again. I know he was an asshole to me (not only b/c of that- he was just an ass in general), but I loved him and part of me wanted to fall in love with him.

I say if you really do love this guy and you do have feelings, don't hold back, don't hesitate. Sometimes people break up but that doesn't mean you aren't right for eachother and it doesn't mean you wont be right for eachother again in the future.

Uh,

Ask raptor jesus.