Help?

New years eve of 2005 was going to be a 'once off' because he wanted to try ecstasy. So it turned out not to be just once, and did it again a couple weeks later. He told me that night "I trust you to tell me when I should stop because I'm not sensible enough to know myself". So I said oh hey you're not likely to listen to me, but he assured me he would. So about a year on when I was becoming really concerned because he was doing it every weekend, and was starting to behave a bit differently, kind of distant and out of it. I also noticed he was having memory problems. I talked to him about it and he said he really thought he should stop and he would. About 2 months later, and he hadn't stopped. We started having arguments all the time about it and he kept promising that he wasn't going to do it again. After finding out once again that he hadn't actually stopped, we had a huge argument and were on the verge of breaking up. At that point I told him that I knew he wanted to stop, and that he was trying, but I wanted him to tell me if he slipped up. "Yes, I promise I will tell you." So now it is today, I found out from one of his friends that he did it again last night, he had every opportunity to tell me, and he didn't. I don't know what to do now.

We've been together for 3 years and this is the only issue we've ever had. We're good together, and I really, really love him.

So what the fuck do I do? Do I just wait for him to get over it and turn a blind eye? Help me I've run out of ideas

spike the E. sometimes when people overdose it gives them a reality check. or introduce him to meth.

or all of the above + dumping him.

Obviously, you need to confront him and tell him how his behavior is affecting you. Stress how hurt you are that he felt he had to keep things from you, and how worried you are about him. If he's keeping this from you, who knows what else he could be hiding? Suggest that your paranoia is causing you to experience doubts about him, and doubts about the relationship.

Make sure he is aware of the effects of ecstasy. He might change his tune when he hears of all the horror stories. A bad experience is usually enough to wake someone up to the dangers of whatever they're doing. So hopefully, if your efforts are unsuccessful, things will sort themselves out. Try not to let it come to that.

You need to make him realize his priorities. His health and your happiness is suffering at the expense of his e-taking. You wouldn't necessarily be giving him an ultimatum, but try to subtly imply IT'S EITHER ECSTASY OR ME.

^^ ooh you're a fucking sneaky one, aren't you? haha.

dude, you cant force anyone to stop doing drugs. let it run its course. or if it's THAT bad and really a neverending issue, hopefully you'll know when it's time to break up over it? tough decisions but... it'll work itself out the way its supposed to. these things always do.

I'm sorry. That's a really tough spot to be in. Drugs are just awful and after all of this time you're seeing how he's changed and that's never good. I think tough love can help if you confront him but sometimes it backfires too. Is there any way you can keep him from being around the stuff? Maybe it's temptation.

Considering his next door neighbour is his best friend and drug dealer, not really.

the only way to quit e is to stop clubbing and get away from the people who are doing it all the time. at least for a few months.. if he's doing it at home/outside of that environment then who knows. i only lasted a few months before i started losing my fucking mind i can't understand people who do it consistently for years. it can really fuck you up

Sounds like a guy that doesn't take responsibility for himself and uses excuses for what he's doing. I think you've probably already went blue in the face explaining all the reasons to NOT do it so i think you need something else other than that. Perhaps a more drastic step of "taking a break," until he sorts himself out. You have every intention of getting back with him but don't let him know that. If you can't possibly live with a guy who's going to do that I think its the only way to go....

my bf started smoking again

__________________
dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is.

Simple. "It's me or the E".

Your boyfriend should should go bowling with my ex.
Thwy would prob end up rolling though.

Two of my best friends were/are going through this, they've been together 6 years, their wedding was booked for August. She asked him that question - he chose 'E'.

The wedding was cancelled, she kicked him out. She's going travelling for a year and a half to get away and spend the money she'd saved for the wedding.

It's beyond me.

Good for her.

Ugh, what an asshole. I guess if he'd choose E over her then she's way better off having known that sooner rather than later.

I think that's the last thing you should do. They don't 'choose' e, they just say 'i'm not letting anyone tell me what to do', so they end up breaking up anyway. Ultimatums are not good.