| I've been wiith my current bf for almost 13 years. We were open as far as me seeing other girls for the first four years, and then we were open all the way. We each dated other people, etc, and have been in a successful loving triad for about a year now. Our gf lives with us and we are a happy little family unit. It takes work though. Like ANY successful relationship.
You can't be 'the jealous type' but even more importantly than that, you can't be insecure. About yourself or your place in your SO's life.
I'm very secure in my current relationship. My mom always says things like, "What if he leaves you for another woman?" But honestly if he can have us both why would he unless there was something inherantly flawed in our relationshp, in which case he would leave me ANYHOW, another woman involved or not. My mom also says "what if your gf is just 'going through a phase and what if you end up getting hurt' but really to me getting hurt is worth the risk of finding someone that you love and are compatible with. I mean, honestly, if you were afraid of such things you would never date anyone let alone have an open relationship.
A poster above me said "they only work for so long" But I believe this to be true of most monogamous relationships as well, if it weren't true, the divorce rate wouldn't be sky high. It seems that when a polyamorous relationship doesnt work, people blame it on the relationship style, but when a monogamou relationship doesn't work no one stops and questions if monogamy was at fault. It's such a double standard.
If you have any other questions feel free to PM me for my aim sn or ask them here and I'd be more than happy to answer. |