Recently I've been dating this guy a bit, and hes nice and its been fun... but I haven't been able to feel anything about him.

I figured out that I didn't want him, words have not yet been had but will when he is back in the city. But I had this thought at the back of my mind, like, who am I comparing him to? Why can't I care about him, is it because I can't care about anyone?

Then just now I got a phone call from a friend who I used to see a lot, but who has moved away. And all the time I couldn't stop thinking "Wow, I've really missed you", i knew I missed him and cared about him already but i didn't realise how much until I sat listening to his voice.
And in the past we've had some near moments, when we've been drunk or generally kind of bearing our souls (hes normally pretty private). He also told me something that he admitted no one else in our whole city knew. And basically I know he thinks I'm attractive etc.
But a lot of our other friends interfered from before all this, swinging between being jokey and serious about us getting together until it just became this big THING. And then that sort of affected all our opinions of each other and made me not want to get involved in what would be this big romantic issue.

But now I'm kicking myself, because I think I've missed out on something great. And I'm just sat here shocked because I've just realised that I am a little bit in love with him. But soon thats going to turn into anger and hating the fact that I can't care about this other perfectly good guy as much as I care about this friend.

I don't know if I should just sit back and try and learn from my mistakes or phone him/visit him and try and let something happen.

So, any advice? Anyone been in a similar situation with only realising when you miss someone whos gone, or the friends meddeling stuff?

Yeah, this really spoke to me. Sitting here, reading this love story brought a wry smile to my face. On one hand you state that you cannot love another, but next say you are a ickle bit in love with some guy who you blew it with a while back.

Y'see, that is why you fuck everything that comes along. Then there are only bad decisions and no regrets.

aw that´s really cute
you´ve been in love and couldn´t tell - same thing happened to me
and I bet he feels the same way
so... go see a film or something, start spending more time together and let it happen!

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No tongue, my lipstick!

I would do, but sadly he is now about 5 hours drive away.
It would be ok if it had already started happening, but as it is purposefully starting something would be a bit crazy, and I don't think he would be up for that even if he does care about me. I couldn't handle a huge romantic gesture of just turning up on his door step and saying "I want you, can I stay over?", partly because everyone I know who has done that has been horribly rejected and traumatised.
BUT he might well be moving to only 55 minutes away, which is pretty much feasible. Fingers crossed.

Worst comes to worse, at least I think I'd manage not to get into this mess again. I've had a bit of a lesson in over/under thinking these things...

If you don't like the other guy, try not to string him along and end up breaking his little friend heart. If the guy you really like ends up moving closer just start of being friends again and see what happens. An hour isn't that bad.