I haven't had a boyfriend in 4 years now and it's really depressing. At this point, I highly doubt that I'll ever find someone. I don't really like going to clubs etc., which makes it even harder. Advice, anyone?

why do you need a boyfriend?

House parties? Friends with single friends seems to work.

Because co-dependency is the new rock 'n' roll baby.

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I'm Squarepusher, and I approved this message.

cuz theyre wicked, duh!


you can find one on the internet if all else fails,
................kittyradio.com? ..vampire freaks.com?

anyways
i suppose if you go looking, you dont really find? WAIT PATIENTLY AND BETTER THINGS WILL HAPPEN

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no no never say maybe to smack bunny baby again.

Intimacy, sex, love?

I've done that "stop looking and you'll find someone" thing for ages now. Doesn't seem to work...

excuse the question, but are you more shy or actually quite outgoing, like someone who gets on with people easily?

I get quite nervous with new people but just talk a lot so they don't notice (although I think they do anyway). It's really hard for me to find people I really like, cos I have a weird sense of humor etc.

same advice I give to every situation will apply: drink more

it's hard for me to find people i like too. the ones i've found have been in my life for a decade or more. i found my boyfriend when i wasn't looking. but i was never looking, was never into relationships. i just found interesting people to sleep with instead. maybe you should do that? like you don't have to be a total slut, but you can get laid occasionally and generally try to have a good time. one day you'll have a great conversation with some guy, and wham! it will hit you. oh and try not to talk so much (unless yer drunk, cuz then you may not be able to help it) and listen to people. get a feel for the room before participating.

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"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself."

"I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing."

"I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy. "

-from the goddess that is Anaïs Nin

I haven't been with a guy in a little over a year...

I dunno. In America it was never a problem because people are so much more outgoing and I actually did things there.

Here I just live in this small town with nothing to do. I go to university though, and I've met some people but they're only acquaintances really. People are very distant here. It sucks.

I also don't like going to clubs. I don't think it's the place to find a boyfriend you know. It's all good fun for flings, but if you're a bit more mature you don't really find great matches there...

I dunno man. what's wrong with us?

if it helps: it's usually the best girls who can't seem to find a boyfriend.... Maybe guys are intimidated by us?
I actually know for a fact some guys are intimidated by me... I've been told so by several people. Only the really arrogant/confident ones ask me out. and then we go out and I get so fucking annoyed with their arrogance we get into a big fight and then it's over again and I'm alone....AGAIN.

I don't understand. People actually tell me they don't understand why I'm not in a relationship because apparently I'm nice and fun and pretty (unless I have acne! hahaha).... what the hell do I know you know?
I don't like being lonely..... I used to not care so much but lately I'm really becoming lonely and long to be with this great guy who I have a lot in common with and can be comfortable with and stuff.... I really want that.



well. that was kind of a downer huh. sorry
good luck to you though!

I tend to end up going out with friends/people i have known for a while because i'm pretty shy too.

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Diving for pearls.

I want a lolly.

Hey,

yeah I know what you mean! I tend to go for rather shy guys with a good sense of humor, and maybe these are the ones who are intimidated by me? I simply can't just sleep with someone without having a relationship, I just can't! Oh well, I dunno what I'm doing wrong...

yeah this can definitely be a problem. i use to want to be a lesbian so bad because of it. no one could handle me. the worst type of guys would approach me in the worst ways i would just ugh. my bf isn't remotely arrogant, he simply doesn't give a fuck. either he likes you or he doesn't so intimidation never factors in. he doesn't care what kind of psycho bitch i am, he'll just tell me to fuck off lol. god i love that man. i actually found him among shit. most of his friends (some were my friends prior to me meeting him) are lame fucks that were only entertaining when i was drunk (which was a lot for about a 2 year period). sometimes you can find the right person in places you never thought of. oh and i must add, sometimes it's someone you already know. i had actually met my current bf several times prior to the time i met him and actually remembered (i have a shit memory, and never took note of him). we ran the same circle for years before i had my first real conversation with him. so you never know.

__________________
"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself."

"I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing."

"I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy. "

-from the goddess that is Anaïs Nin

oh god, i do that TOO.
i guess it is not always good when you do this with shy/quiet people as they tend to get intimidated.
either this or they will be totally fascinated by you (as long as you manage to say something remotely funny and clever)

they could also be fascinated and intimidated.

i have no clue how to stop the talking and i don't think it's something totally negative, but when you tend to be all talk-active shy guys will exspect you to make the first move.
because they will probably think you are more confident and less shy than them...

umm i hope i am being of some help at least...

Which is exactly what you are not, haha I'm not really confident, I just pretend to be! I usually make stupid jokes, sometimes make fun of myself or others etc. Hehe.
Plus, I really want someone I go out with to be cute, but that combination of someone being cute & having a good sense of humor is so hard to find!