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  #1  
Old 08-09-2007, 05:39 PM
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Exclamation Ugh...dating A Musician

Ok, Im New At This Forum Shit. But I Could Really Use Some Advice!!

I Have Been Dating A Man Who Is The Leader Of A Nationaly Touring Band For A Year. 3 Months Ago We Decided To Move In Together. He Has Been On The Road For Almost 2 Months Outta The 3 We've Lived Togeather. Ha!

Now I Have Been In A Relationship With A Band Boy Before, So I Knew Somewhat What To Expect.

Anyways, I Find Myself Getting Annoyed At Him For Not Calling/texting Me Sometimes. I Mean I Know He Is Busy, And I Dont Want To Be The "annoying" G/f. But Damn, It Seems Like The First Of Tour He Was Communicating With Me Frequently, And Now, Not So Much.

I Don't Blow Up His Phone, Check His Myspace, Message His Myspace Or Trig, Talk To His Bandmates, Ask Him Where He's Been... Even Though He Is Known To Be A Little Leadsinging Whoreface, Or Any Of That Shit. I Told Him Before He Left I Know All The Temptions Of The Road, But To Not Let Me Find Out, Or Make It Obvious.
So In My Opinion I Give Him Plenty Of Space And Support. So Am I Crazy To Think That There Is Something Wrong??

I Mentioned It One Time, On My Birthday About The Lack Of Communication, B/c The Fuckhead Forgot To Tell Me Happy Bday, And His Mom Has The Same Fucking Bday Too, And He Got Pissed And Called Me Dramatic. So I Have Been Afraid To Mention It Again.

Grrrr...he Also Tells Me To Not Ever Talk To Anyone About Him, And Sometimes Seems Like He Wants To Hide Me As Well. Like His First Show Was In The State We Live In, And He Asked Me Not To Go. Wtf??
Please Help Me Understand This Shit....gah!!

Or Am I Really Just Being Dramatic???
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  #2  
Old 08-09-2007, 06:43 PM
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Why Is Your Entire Post Written Like It's A Title?
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  #3  
Old 08-09-2007, 06:53 PM
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bookstore bookstore is offline
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what band?

yr not being dramatic. you live with him so the relationship must have been a proper relationship, is it not? telling your girlfriend not to come to a show is pretty bloody mean, id have non of that shit! (well unless there was a particular reason why he didnt want you there, which there wasnt was there?)
you gave him "space" aswell, loads of people wouldnt do that in a relationship. youre not being unreasonable by any means. not contacting you, just sounds like he cant be bothered really? so maybe you shouldnt bother with him either
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  #4  
Old 08-09-2007, 07:31 PM
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Did you know that 46.8% of all relationships disintegrate because one of the people involved insists in capitalising every word while the other strongly believes this to be wrong?

True story. And by true, I mean it's a big fat lie that I just made up.

But, in all seriousness, I'd just listen to bookstore. She's usually right about things, from what I can gather.
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  #5  
Old 08-09-2007, 10:43 PM
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musicians are people as well you know? Some of them will be jerks some won´t.
ugh

"I Told Him Before He Left I Know All The Temptions Of The Road, But To Not Let Me Find Out, Or Make It Obvious. " WTF. Is that like "cheat on me but don´t let me find out?" If you don´t demand respect how do you expect him to respect you?

He doesn´t want anyone to know he has a girlfriend that seems obvious. It´s like he thinks you should be so glad to fuck rockstar cock that you shouldn´t demand anything.

Last edited by Mallory Knox : 08-09-2007 at 10:49 PM.
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  #6  
Old 08-09-2007, 10:45 PM
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it is mandatory that you tell us who he is and what band he's in before we give you advice
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  #7  
Old 08-10-2007, 01:12 AM
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I think you gave him too much space, tbh

The "Don't make it obvious" thing was like... I don't know, I don't think it was the right thing to say, I mean... and who he is btw?

Anyway, Call him, and well... why he wouldn't want people to know you're his gf? Maybe so girlfans can have their way?... that's just selfish.
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  #8  
Old 08-10-2007, 01:22 AM
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He should remember to wish you a happy birthday!
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  #9  
Old 08-10-2007, 04:48 AM
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I don't know if I have this right but it sounds like you have given him free reign to fool around while on the road and then you are surprised when he doesn't want you to come to the shows where all the girls he is shagging are. I'm sorry to sound harsh but he isn't communicating with you much because he is doing other things and doesn't want to, it really sounds about as cut and dry as that.
The birthday thing is just totally unreasonable, if the roles were reversed would you have pop at him for mentioning that you forgot his birthday? I doubt it very much. You shouldn't be scared to talk about anything to your partner for fear of how they will react.
The whole open relationship thing while he is away might work for the two of you and not be an issue but he still needs to treat you with some respect as his partner and not as a groupie.
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  #10  
Old 08-10-2007, 09:03 AM
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dump his ass & get std tests
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  #11  
Old 08-10-2007, 09:06 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady_Violet View Post
it is mandatory that you tell us who he is and what band he's in before we give you advice
i agree.
and please don't Write Like This Anymore.
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  #12  
Old 08-10-2007, 09:11 AM
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What bullshit.. You shouldn't put up with that.
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  #13  
Old 08-10-2007, 10:14 AM
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Heh..word.
Yeah well I DID go all out for his 30th Bday, just a month before mine. Dammit what a dick. You guys are right. Thanks
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  #14  
Old 08-10-2007, 10:15 AM
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Well In my mind, which is a bit crazy sometimes, I DID NOT give him freedom to fuck anyone. Believe me he KNOWS I don't want him doing that. I just try to look at it realisticly, like he's on fuckn tour, shit happens ya know?

BTW, I have NO idea why it was written like that, but thanks for proof reading lol.

Lol...Hmmmm "who is he?" you all ask. Ha.. well if you ask him, he's a "rockstar" ugh. He is in an upcoming band called RIKETS, his name is Scott Rose. His best friend is Tom Maxwell formally of NothingFace, and now guitarist for HellYeah, (Vinnie Paul's, from Pantera, new band). So hanging out buddy buddy with Vinnie Paul and playing with bands such as Static X, Bullet for my Valentine, Korn, FlyLeaf, Seether,..etc has given him a HUGE fuckn' head. UGH!!! I find myself comparing him to another guy from another band called Diecast, Kirk Koloatis. Kirk and I dated, for about 8 months. Kirk went on tour with Sepultura, Sworn Enemy, In This Moment...then Sevendust for months, but STILL managed to call me twice a day and took me to a NewYork, and then Dallas shows. He NEVER once had the attitude Scott has. It pisses Scott off when I mention that too...heh.

He had 4 days off from tour this week and went to his mom's in Cleveland, OH. The only things I heard from him, after I had to contact him first through TMing, was "Im trying to sleep xo" and "Studio"...blah...I fuckn give up.Oh...and he hit me up for phone sex lol...once.

So tonite he is playing some 2 day festival in Belfontaine, OH. We'll fuckn see if I hear from him or not!!

Damn ya'll. maby I SHOULD dump his ass???!!! Lol...this sounds cliche', but I love him to death !! But I don't know if I can take another month of this shit...and then again when the next tour starts.

Thanks guys...Im going INSANE!!!

Last edited by Lunatic Friend : 08-10-2007 at 10:37 AM.
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  #15  
Old 08-10-2007, 11:19 AM
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Mallory Knox Mallory Knox is offline
duh!
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunatic Friend View Post
Well In my mind, which is a bit crazy sometimes, I DID NOT give him freedom to fuck anyone. Believe me he KNOWS I don't want him doing that. I just try to look at it realisticly, like he's on fuckn tour, shit happens ya know?

!
sorry but you´re getting what you asked for

I had a brief relationship years ago with this boy and at the time my band was doing ok etc. etc. And he said the same thing like "don´t want you to cheat on me blah but I know it happens don´t let me know etc etc whiney stuff. I immedialtely lost ALL the respect I could ever have for him. People aren´t mechanical and unable to control their actions, it´s not like "shit happens", you just don´t respect yourself.

Last edited by Mallory Knox : 08-10-2007 at 11:23 AM.
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  #16  
Old 08-10-2007, 11:43 AM
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He can jack off to a porno on the tour bus
Don't let him get away with that bullshit
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  #17  
Old 08-10-2007, 12:16 PM
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Hahaha word BleedingHeart...that he can.

Yes I am getting what I asked for...grrr. Dammit. Well fuck this, Im not sitting around the house anymore being good, while he is out fuckn around.

Ha, he will be getting a shipment of boxes to his next venu labeld "Scott's Socks, Underwear,Shoes...etc " heh fucker.

And yes I am disprespecting myself by letting this continue, I was just trying to be understanding and cool about shit, but he has taken advantage. I see that now thanks.
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  #18  
Old 08-10-2007, 12:24 PM
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duh!
 
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I suggest you show up at the gig like you just got out of bed, call him a stupid nickname and take his mother or as many aunts as you can.
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  #19  
Old 08-10-2007, 01:30 PM
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Also bring a pellet gun to the gig and shoot him as he tries to perform.

Let him know you mean business.
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  #20  
Old 08-10-2007, 01:50 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lunatic Friend View Post
And yes I am disprespecting myself by letting this continue, I was just trying to be understanding and cool about shit, but he has taken advantage. I see that now thanks.
To be honest, i did similar with a ex and a long time after we broke up he even said it hadn't occured to him to see other people until i mentioned it.

Obviously this isn't the same for this guy, but seriously, i doubt or presume lady dalle or christina martinez would stand for jon spencer/josh homme fucking around and they are in the same situation. I'm sure its not that hard to expect of someone. If he wants to fuck around with people then thats fine, but i wouldn't recommend being part of it. As its fair to rationalise it, but when it happens it hurts.
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