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08-07-2007, 01:24 AM
|  | kitschy minger | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the medusa cascade
Posts: 4,151
| | | do i have a right to be jealous
okay so
my bf and i have been dating for 14 months
this girl he has been friends with for like 2 years lives 3 hours away, but she goes to school here, so she is only here during the school year
so for the 3 months of the summer, she is pretty far away
she came to visit on the 4th of july, she will be back for school september 1st
the bf says he is going to take a bus and visit her. he estimates this will cost $100. now this is more money than he has ever spent on me, probably even cumulatively. this money will not include whatever he has to spend while visiting for "a few days", which could be substantial as she lives in the chicago burbs. which he claims to hate
now what i dont get is, why does he have to go visit her for a few days when she will be back in less than a month? why is he spending so much money to see her when he would NEVER do that for me?
i need to know if i have a right to be jealous, or upset, or if i am just totally blinded by my intense hatred for her (we do NOT get along; i just avoid her whenever possible). everybody and their brother knows he wants to bone her, too, even though he adamantly denies it and she has a boyfriend (who is now avoiding my bf because even HE knows).
anyway i am just pretty pissed about the whole thing. do i have a right to be?
maybe it is nothing and my hatred for her is clouding the whole thing. my bf is one of the only people in our group of friends who will even still speak to her due to some things she did last winter to generally piss everyone off. he is apparently the only one who has missed her since she left because he is the only one who has talked to her.
UGH I AM SO UPSET!! 
__________________
dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is. |
08-07-2007, 01:43 AM
|  | I ARE MASTER | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 5,269
| | | i think you have every right to be upset with him. thats a blatant disreguard for your feelings there. it sounds like he takes you pretty forgranted. |
08-07-2007, 03:27 AM
|  | e.c=vamplove | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: sydney
Posts: 5,871
| | hell yes! i'd be fucking pissed off too.
beat his ass down 
__________________
"I knew I was too late - and I was glad something bloodthirsty waited in the wings. For in failing at this, I forfeited any desire to live." |
08-07-2007, 05:20 AM
| | Finger deep within the | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,913
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Lady_Violet  hell yes! i'd be fucking pissed off too.
beat his ass down | What she said  |
08-07-2007, 05:55 AM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,903
| | | Everyone has a right to be jelous, and it wouldn't hurt to tell your boyfriend that you are. But be wary not to sound accusatory. Rather, concentrate on yourself, how you personally feel and how the situation affects you. Feeling is one thing, and action is another. Though it may not be your intention, relate it in terms of not letting your own feelings make your boyfriend feel restricted ("I don't want to make you feel resricted but something's been bothering me..."). He'll cop on.
Last edited by desdemona : 08-07-2007 at 07:43 AM.
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08-07-2007, 06:06 AM
|  | Chairman~MouseyTongue | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chairman Meow
Posts: 6,976
| | | why is he not pissed off when everyone else is for 'something' she did a while back (must have been pretty shitty)?? yeah you do have a right (100 bucks on this girl?) dont tell him he cant go, just make a note and figure out how to voice your feelings without sounding nagging. |
08-07-2007, 07:38 AM
|  | ♪ | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: hears sirens
Posts: 6,134
| | | maybe he just wants to take a short vacation.
$100 isn't much money for a quick getaway.
you should let him know how you feel so your feelings don't fester.
& one day, you'll be begging for the chance of a 3 day break.
__________________
[ o ]==#
"A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong. - Stella Adler
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08-07-2007, 10:04 AM
| | kitschy minger | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the medusa cascade
Posts: 4,151
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by calalove maybe he just wants to take a short vacation.
$100 isn't much money for a quick getaway.
you should let him know how you feel so your feelings don't fester.
& one day, you'll be begging for the chance of a 3 day break. | well, the thing is, i have been trying to get him to go on a vacation with me for months, but he always "can't get off work"or "its too much money"
but for this girl he will just drop anything
when we were having problems earlier this year, i told one of our friends he had broken up with me, and the first thing the guy said was "is he dating (the girl) yet?" and this friend had only even met her once
it bothers me that everyone knows my bf would rather be fucking someone else
and i happen to think $100 is a lot of money when i have to pay for everything any time we go anywhere so that he can "save money" because his work is so irregular. he does stage hand work and stage set-up and stuff like that and its all contracted but nota guaranteed amount or anything so he has to save money to know he can get through times when there's not a lot of work
__________________
dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is.
Last edited by Dithyrambic : 08-07-2007 at 10:08 AM.
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08-07-2007, 10:07 AM
| | kitschy minger | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the medusa cascade
Posts: 4,151
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by BleedingHeart why is he not pissed off when everyone else is for 'something' she did a while back (must have been pretty shitty)?? yeah you do have a right (100 bucks on this girl?) dont tell him he cant go, just make a note and figure out how to voice your feelings without sounding nagging. | well she slept with this guy several times while trying to "work things out"with her boyfriend of more than a year, and while the other guy was dating two other of our friends (and she knew it. the other girls didnt know he had other gfs at the time). anyway she is basically just really hurtful to lots of people lots of the time and really messed up our group of friends by sleeping with this guy. her bf seems to overlook it and took her back, but the other 2 girls are friends of ours and most people have chosen allegiance with them.anyway its a very convoluted situation but mybf doesnt seem to care that it happened .
__________________
dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is. |
08-07-2007, 10:44 AM
| | ♪ | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: hears sirens
Posts: 6,134
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dithyrambic well, the thing is, i have been trying to get him to go on a vacation with me for months, but he always "can't get off work"or "its too much money"
but for this girl he will just drop anything
when we were having problems earlier this year, i told one of our friends he had broken up with me, and the first thing the guy said was "is he dating (the girl) yet?" and this friend had only even met her once
it bothers me that everyone knows my bf would rather be fucking someone else
and i happen to think $100 is a lot of money when i have to pay for everything any time we go anywhere so that he can "save money" because his work is so irregular. he does stage hand work and stage set-up and stuff like that and its all contracted but nota guaranteed amount or anything so he has to save money to know he can get through times when there's not a lot of work | all of those things would make me pissy.
i supported someone 98% of the time for 8 years. that shit annoys me to no end.
you should tell him these things.
if he goes away, just enjoy your time.
__________________
[ o ]==#
"A junkie is someone who uses their body to tell society that something is wrong. - Stella Adler
|
08-07-2007, 10:55 AM
|  | duh! | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Sao Paulo
Posts: 2,369
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by calalove all of those things would make me pissy.
i supported someone 98% of the time for 8 years. that shit annoys me to no end.
you should tell him these things.
if he goes away, just enjoy your time. | yes you should tell him
whatīs the reason why he canīt wait a bit longer to see her? |
08-07-2007, 11:02 AM
|  | grievous angel | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 366
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dithyrambic the bf says he is going to take a bus and visit her. he estimates this will cost $100. now this is more money than he has ever spent on me, probably even cumulatively. | if you have been with this guy for 14 months and he hasn't spent a hundred bucks on you... may i ask.... what the hell. |
08-07-2007, 09:04 PM
| | kitschy minger | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the medusa cascade
Posts: 4,151
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by riot_pixie if you have been with this guy for 14 months and he hasn't spent a hundred bucks on you... may i ask.... what the hell. | well like 2 months after we started dating he lost his job, and it was like another 6 months before he really started making a good income, and now he is just saving all his money and never wants to spend it
__________________
dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is. |
08-07-2007, 09:05 PM
| | kitschy minger | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the medusa cascade
Posts: 4,151
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Mallory Knox yes you should tell him
whatīs the reason why he canīt wait a bit longer to see her? | my guess is that he really wants to fuck her.
he claims that she really, really wants him to come visit her
__________________
dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is. |
08-07-2007, 09:07 PM
| | kitschy minger | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the medusa cascade
Posts: 4,151
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by calalove all of those things would make me pissy.
i supported someone 98% of the time for 8 years. that shit annoys me to no end.
you should tell him these things.
if he goes away, just enjoy your time. | well thats another thing that kind of pisses me off, but it pisses me off about ME, like i just can't stand being away from him
i am away from him for like 4 minutes and i miss him
but i mean, you know , he never misses me
like i would like at least a phone call everyday but i guess he just doesnt feel the same. it sucks
__________________
dithyrambic does not:
have a husband
have a child
fight over ice cream
care that you dont know who she is. |
08-07-2007, 11:29 PM
| | grievous angel | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 366
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Dithyrambic well like 2 months after we started dating he lost his job, and it was like another 6 months before he really started making a good income, and now he is just saving all his money and never wants to spend it | k that's still retarded. does he take you on thoughtful dates that cost nothing, or does he just sit around and watch tv with you. if it's the latter, run for the hills! let him have his bitch, and she can sit on her ass watching tv for eternity with his cheap ass! |
08-07-2007, 11:57 PM
|  | stirred... rarely shaken | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northwest
Posts: 599
| | | Dithyrambic: how you feel is how you feel
No guilt for feelings. It's not like you can help it. But what you choose to do with what you feel... my advice is always take the high road...
I would be concerned, but I would probably not feel obliged to be committed to this person. |
08-08-2007, 08:55 AM
|  | brain problem situation | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,643
| | | i'd be flipping shit if i were you. |
08-08-2007, 12:13 PM
| | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Ireland
Posts: 1,903
| | | Yeah, Dithy, you should really talk to him about all the issues you've raised in this thread. | |
