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08-05-2007, 03:23 PM
| | Registered Member | | Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 80
| | | how far do you go when ya meet someone for the first time?
I was just wondering how far ye go in terms of sex stuff when ya meet someone for the first time. I have had alot of shit happen in the last while and my esteem is low. When i drink i do get very drunk and have ended up sleeping or nearly sleeping with guys etc. I need to know what is the acceptable cos i know what i am doing is really stupid and dangerous. |
08-05-2007, 05:08 PM
|  | I am a dixie chick | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,031
| | | If you want it to develop into a relationship then you don't do anything. If you don't hope to see them again then do whatevz.
RESPECT YO SELF. |
08-05-2007, 05:18 PM
|  | I like pie | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Belgium
Posts: 2,695
| | yea. I've slept with guys I just met too because I was drunk and it is just the worst.
I mean, the sex sucks because you're drunk and your head's all over the place and when the guy is drunk chances are he's not gonna be able to get it up...
it's just stupid and it always made me feel terrible.
So I've decided to be more mature and just stop doing that.
It's just that when I get drunk I really want sex... lol. 
but really. it's bad and like the last person said, don't do it if you want an actual relationship with that person.
although....I slept with this guy one night (we were both drunk of cheap vodka and we both started feeling ill during...haha. I don't really remember whether we actually did anything interesting or just both passed out). But yea...we did get together in a bf/gf type of thing a while after... but that's pretty rare... |
08-05-2007, 05:37 PM
| | Registered Member | | Join Date: Jun 2007
Posts: 80
| | | Thanks guys for replying. I just feel i am a bit out of control and its scaring me. I haven't slept with many people but i almost could have and its really stupid and weak. That was good advice wtf_happened about if ya want a relationship don't do anything.I guess i should try actually talking to the person and getting to know their mind rather than just the physical stuff. |
08-05-2007, 05:44 PM
| | I am a dixie chick | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,031
| | Always be friends first so you know it's not entirely based on them wanting to have sex with you ..  |
08-05-2007, 05:58 PM
|  | duh! | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Sao Paulo
Posts: 2,369
| | | go as far as you want to
what you do with your sex life it´s only your business
no one has the right to say what is "acceptable" |
08-05-2007, 06:00 PM
|  | She's like the wind | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your face.
Posts: 7,013
| | | Depends it I actually like them. Then not very far.
__________________ Diving for pearls. I want a lolly. Summer lust, oceans still left to cross. |
08-05-2007, 06:02 PM
|  | Beloved of Bast | | Join Date: Dec 2006 Location: Luton, UK.
Posts: 54
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by birthmark1  I was just wondering how far ye go in terms of sex stuff when ya meet someone for the first time. I have had alot of shit happen in the last while and my esteem is low. When i drink i do get very drunk and have ended up sleeping or nearly sleeping with guys etc. I need to know what is the acceptable cos i know what i am doing is really stupid and dangerous. | Full sexual intercourse. I don't usually get kinky on a first date. I leave that till the second. |
08-05-2007, 07:16 PM
|  | M. Kahn is bent | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: SYMM
Posts: 1,343
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by birthmark1 i know what i am doing is really stupid and dangerous. | I think you've answered your own question. There's nothing wrong with casual anythings but it sounds like you're in a really messy place. Maybe you need to stop at the kissing, get someone's number and meet up with them again sober and see how much you do actually want to be with them. You're obviously not getting the self esteem boost you're wanting from casual sex because you're still doing it to the point it's worrying you.
__________________
His last request was a bulletproof vest or a god |
08-05-2007, 07:19 PM
|  | Part-time narcoleptic | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Oxford and London, of the cold old UK
Posts: 2,617
| | | When I was younger, I would go a lot further. Now I worry that they are a) a serial killer or b) carry one of those STIs you can get even with condoms (like herpes or genital warts). Because no one I have ever just met is worth catching the herp for. |
08-05-2007, 07:52 PM
| | M. Kahn is bent | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: SYMM
Posts: 1,343
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Insomnia a) a serial killer | They've probably marked you out anyway, you may as well get some fun out of it before they chop you into pieces.
__________________
His last request was a bulletproof vest or a god |
08-05-2007, 10:16 PM
| | Part-time narcoleptic | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Oxford and London, of the cold old UK
Posts: 2,617
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by spasmachine They've probably marked you out anyway, you may as well get some fun out of it before they chop you into pieces. | Yeah but what if they stab me before we have got it on but after there was general nudity in a secluded spot? |
08-06-2007, 06:56 AM
|  | don't rape a goddess | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: catatonic planet
Posts: 679
| | | i don't follow any rules when it comes to relationships. if i meet someone i want to get intimate with, i'll do it even if it's the first time we meet. just because you have sex with someone on the first date, doesn't mean it can't get serious. |
08-06-2007, 07:05 AM
|  | C is for Cookie | | Join Date: Jul 2006
Posts: 4,459
| | | inappropriate content
Last edited by thumbscrew : 08-06-2007 at 07:16 AM.
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08-06-2007, 07:18 AM
| | meaning is the old black | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: circa 1996
Posts: 1,404
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by thumbscrew inappropriate content | So what are you doing this weekend? |
08-06-2007, 08:32 AM
|  | blah | | Join Date: Apr 2007 Location: London
Posts: 1,702
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by wtf_happened If you want it to develop into a relationship then you don't do anything. If you don't hope to see them again then do whatevz.
RESPECT YO SELF. | This is bollocks. You can have sex with someone and still hear from them the next day. This is not the 1950's and sex isn't a taboo.
I've gone "all the way" on first dates. Wooo, I'm such a slag! But I wanted to. And I've then gone on to have second dates with these guys. Most of the time it's me ignoring their calls, and not me staring at the phone willing it to ring while they forget all about me.
I'm not saying I'm amazing and men adore me and want to be with me after one night of sex or anything either, I'm just saying these old fashioned values really get my goat because times have a changed. And I like my goat. He's called Trevor.
I'm using too many words. I don't agree with WTF. |
08-06-2007, 09:19 AM
|  | some velvet evening | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Old Saybrook, CT
Posts: 1,377
| | | I'm thirty one years old. I no longer take the bases one at a time, I hit the ball out of the park as soon as I decide I want to play. I recentlly started dating someone new. We had hot sex on the third date. I don't think I would of had sex with him on the first, just because I didn't know him that well then.
Getting to know him made him more attractive to me= want of the bone.
I would of had no problem having sex on the first date if I was attracted to the guy enough. It depends on your intent and what you are looking for from the hook up. Base your actions on your intent.
I will also admit to using men in the past as living vibrators.
__________________
Lend me ten pounds and I'll buy you a drink.
Last edited by fifi l'amour : 08-06-2007 at 05:43 PM.
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08-06-2007, 11:12 AM
|  | a snib for the nones | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: dead end street
Posts: 473
| | | i completely agree with mallory and duchess (the voices of reason). there is no "acceptable," just what YOU are comfortable with. anyone who tells you otherwise is a big wanker. |
08-06-2007, 01:55 PM
| | M. Kahn is bent | | Join Date: May 2007 Location: SYMM
Posts: 1,343
| | Quote:
Originally Posted by Duchess I've gone "all the way" on first dates. Wooo, I'm such a slag! But I wanted to. And I've then gone on to have second dates with these guys. Most of the time it's me ignoring their calls, and not me staring at the phone willing it to ring while they forget all about me. | See you're right in principal, but I think it was an appropriate reply to the girl who started this thread. She obviously doesn't have issues with being prudish but it sounds like there's deeper problems and she's not happy with how the whole big fast-moving-sex thing is turning out for her.
I think asking what's 'appropriate' is a bit of a red herring in this case. You can blatantly do anything you want on a first date but if it's wearing you down it's right to have second thoughts.
__________________
His last request was a bulletproof vest or a god |
08-06-2007, 04:01 PM
|  | pinkwelly | | Join Date: Oct 2006 Location: the world
Posts: 413
| | | Ah hun, I don't know why we kid ourselves that going home with someone will make us feel better. And I don't know when the world turned upsidedown so much that not sleeping with someone means that you like them but that's the way it is!
I think most people's head are all over the place these days. I stayed at my mates the other day who has the fittest of housemates. I know he's pulled my 'mate' and I'd always wondered why he'd never tried it on with me. I've always thought I was more fun than her. I just thought that he must think I wasn't pretty enough or something but then last night he told me how he was so glad I hung out there cuz I was so kool and that the other girl was such a slag. Obviously it doesn't say much for him pulling her but the reason he hadn't tried it on with me was because he respected me. It wasn't because he thought the other girl was better than me. This had never crossed my mind. It was strange. I don't even care if he fancies me. We have a laugh and think each other is sound and that's kool.
The bottom line is do what you want to but be kool with it. I know that sleeping with people I feel nothing for makes me feel like shit so I don't do it.
Personally, I feel better knowing that people respect me rather than knowing that I can pull them for no strings antics when I feel like it.
As fun as it can be, you can be hot, enjoy yourself and be respected without getting down and dirty xx  | |
