This is my first post on the site. Hopefully someone can help me out. Please read it all..

Here is the back story..My boyfriend and I met online a little over three years ago, and almost a year ago today we "met" in person, and have been living together for over six months. When the relationship started I was 15, and he was 21. Being that he was my first boyfriend, he was and is my first everything. At 15 I sent him nude pictures of myself, the only time I've ever done something like that..and it was for him. He accepted and really like the pictures, despite our age difference.He didn't ask for the photos, I sent them. The only problem is, the next day I asked him what he was doing, and he told me he was looking at porn. Now keep in mind this was over three years ago, and I was 15 at the time. It was devastating to me that our only means of sexual gratification was online, pictures. And after I exposed myself to him, the first man to ever see my body, he chose to look at other women.


After that problem.. All was well in our relationship. I told him in the past how much that incident hurt me. He understood, and promised to never look at porn again. He had a choice, I gave him one. Me, (pictures of me) Or..porn. He chose me. I sent him new photo's all the time ..All was good until a few months ago. I was using his computer and came across some porn links. It shocked me because for the past 3 years I've thought he only looked at me. Maybe it hurt me because of the thing that happened at 15. I don't know. I confronted him and he said he wasn't getting off to it, just looking..Fair enough. Silly to believe I know, but I didn't want to hurt anymore.

So, fast forward to now. I'm 18, he is 23. Two weeks ago I found he was looking at more porn. It killed me, that he lied to me and was still looking at it. I asked him about it and he admitted to getting off with it. He told me the usual, "I'm a guy I need to look at other girls. There is nothing wrong with you", and so on..After trying to explain to him the 3rd time why this hurts me so much. He promised to never look at it again, and he didn't want to hurt me. Well..once again.

I don't want to be a controlling girlfriend, I just feel I have a legitimate reason to dislike him viewing porn. It hurts me incredibly. I'm a very sexual woman, I'm most always in the mood to please him, and I've even suggested watching porn together as a mutual thing. He is really never up for sex, or mutual masturbation. He is always too tired, or feels sick.Thats a different story... but it plays an important role in this situation. When he wont have sex with me Friday night but he will look at porn Saturday morning, it makes me wonder.

So, last night I tried to be mature ( this is before I found the porn on the computer this morning). I said to him. " I understand your need to watch porn, I wont be mad at you. It's natural." This killed me, but I thought maybe it would stop me from being hurt in the future. I doubted he would stop looking at it.

So, now what. He looked at it at the first opportunity..He rarely wants sex with me. I feel hurt. Do I confront him, or..let it go, even though I feel like my heart is melting. To clear one thing up, he is not cheating on me. We are always together..he wouldn't have time. Hah.

Help...

depending how old he is, if he accepted naked photos of a 15 year old then i guess it starts right there

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No tongue, my lipstick!

To be fair, I sent them to him. He didn't ask for them. :/ Yes, I was immature..and believe me I've learned from it.

eedittt

I sent naked photos when I was 17.....(I may aswell have been 15 when it came to maturity) Dont feel bad about it. Maybe you gave all of yourself away too soon. He's seen so much of you (sending him so many photos) and you are always available....he probably takes you for granted, there's no conquest or excitment in having sex with you anymore (sorry, that's the way pig-dogs who dont deserve a sexy girlfriend like you think)

Its good that you are willing to watch porn with him mutually, but I know where you're coming from. His can meet his needs by watching porn but at the same time being extremely selfish, satisfying only himself without looking after your need for sex (which only porn for you doesnt cut it) No matter what kind of guy it is, all sorts watch porn regaurdless of their sex-life, but now you do have a right to be pissed cause you are being cut short with your sexual needs.

Tell him its not fair (love is supposed to be unselfish, that why making love is about satisfying the other person as they are doing to you) and if he does love you he should at least make an effort every weekend to have a good "session" Perhaps deny himself porn during the week so he may become that little more desperate for it..

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