Really long, but please read, I need some advice

Ok so basically, I'll start off by saying I'm 30 weeks pregnant and that I've been with my man for about 2 years. I've always thought we had a great relationship but he's been up to things recently that don't add up and I'm not sure what to do.

About 3/4 years ago he had a one night stand with a girl he went to school with, he told me when we were talking about our ex's and he proclaimed that the sex was amazing and she was so fit and that they were at it all night etc etc (which instantly made me jelous and insecure) Last year he started talking to her on msn which I didn't mind at all and she added me to her friends list and we even had a few nice convos. A couple of months after they started talking, she started sending my boyfriends pictures of herself through msn, and his mobile. This made me feel uneasy because she is certainly pretty and slim (I must add I'm really insecure, maybe it wouldn't have bothered other people so much) The pictures started getting raunchier and raunchier until it was pictures of her bent over with only panties on. As you can imagine I went crazy. I had a right go at her and her reply was something along the lines of 'Im sorry, the attention makes me feel good' or some shite like that. My boyfriend didn't seem to understand that she shouldn't be doing shit like that and said they were innocent and how could he not accept them? from then on I got upset when he spoke to her online or text her and I started checking his phone alot.
A few months aftet that I was out drinking with my sister and I came home and passed out on our bed, my boyfriend was sitting next to me on his laptop on msn. The next morning I was on the laptop and just thought I'd check to see if firecrotch had been up to her usual tricks, I found 3 pics of her in the nude, a map of where she lived and an msn conversation with my boyfriend calling her a "hottie" and how they had to meet up to catch up. I was really upset and begged him not to meet up with her, he told me he wouldnt and that I shouldnt get so upset cause its just a bit of fun. About a week after that, my boyfriend put a screen pin lock on his phone so I couldnt access any folders or anything and one night when he was at my parents house with me, he announced he was going to his brothers house and that they were going to be drinking so he was just going to stay over. I didn't think anything of it until I was sitting next to him on the couch and a text message came through on his phone, from her, saying "where are you picking me up? cant wait to see you" he told me he lied to me because otherwise he wouldnt be able to meet her without me giving him grief. damn right! i was soo pissed off and he went out but came back about midnight saying that they went for a drive and had fun and that nothing happened (next day when i got in the car the heater setting for desteaming the windows was on..prob a coincidence but still) after that the msn conversations and texts dried up and everything was hunky dory for a bit. oh I forgot to add, he went to see her on xmas eve last year as well but only found out a couple of months ago. well, i thought it was over and done with and that she was out of our lives forever (wishful thinking) last week my boyfriend started talking to her again on msn and they arranged to meet up, he asked me first and i was like yup ok thats fine as long as you let me know and dont lie to me about it. on monday he finished work at 6pm and i got a phonecall at 8pm (after making his dinner and then having to chuck it out cause it was cold and ruined) from him saying "is it ok if i go meet up with *her* for a minute" and i thought he'd just be going to see her on her break from work or something cause I know she works till 10pm i assumed he'd be home about 9ish or something but he didnt get back till like midnight and it turned out he went to her flat (where she lives alone, his new job is just round the corner from her flat) and then they went out for a drive. although i had to prize the story out of him, he told me first of all, he went to his parents house first when he finished work (they live in the other side of town) then went to meet her, then went back to his parents house, then drove half way home, turned back and went back to his parents house (confusing i know, his stories dont add up) i was really upset at this point because god knows what he was doing all night, my mind likes to paint me pretty pictures. anyway, when he got home he was acting really nice to me, brought the washing in without being asked to and kept telling me how i was his beautiful baby girl and shit like that, which made me instantly think, ok, whats he been up to. i asked him if he planned to meet up with her again and he told me that they had arranged to go to the pub on sunday night and that her friends were going as well (although i now think this may be a lie to make me less paranoid about them being alone and drunk) and i said oh great, will be good to finally meet her (i was trying to be optimistic and give him the benefit of the doubt) he then told me "oh, you're not invited, its friends only" WTF?? i then said, what, am i not your friend now? and he said "well its just friends that we both know..and you're pregnant anyway, you cant drink" so fucking what. god im so hurt, i feel like he's either embarassed of me, or its a cosy wee drink between her and him and thats the real reason im not invited. i told him he wasnt going without me and then he said, "oh i wont go then" and he told me this morning he cancelled. he keeps deleting the txts out of his phone as well. i was playing with his phone last night and he took it off me, deleted his calls logs, sent messages and inbox messages. He also was searching for pictures of her on photobucket and google (pathetic eh?) anyway. I dont know what to think. her hairbobble was on the floor of the car yesterday and it made me feel so uneasy knowing she'd been in our car and god knows what could of happened. when i asked him whos bobble is was he had a big smirk on his face and went "ehhh". am I off my head? is this normal behaviour? I don't know if I should be paranoid or if its these crazy pregnancy hormones. I'm sorry if this story is a lil confusing, I'm so confused myself.

shit.

not normal. he's a liar and the trust is gone. the best thing for you would probably be to get rid. you've let him know you're not comfortable with it and he carried on even lying to you. and ou're having his baby.

sorry but you don't have to put up with that ever

This isn't normal behaviour. He's jerking you around. I'd bet that this has nothing to do with her, he's just using her to get to you. I don't know what you should do, but he is having an affair, and making it look lik a joke. You need to talk to him.

I think all that needed to be said was said in the first sentence of the 9000 word paragraph.

you really let that shithead walk on you.

get him out of your life and raise the kid with better morals than its father had.

I was really hoping for "nah, it's just hormones, thats normal" I know its not. I talk to him about it all the time, I tell him I'm not comfortable, he says that they're just friends and I should stop dictating what he can and can't do. He says the reason he doesnt tell me the truth is so I wont nag him and go mad about him seeing her. I have a feeling he's still going to go ahead with sunday, I can't be doing with the stress. Knowing she has even been near my boyfriend makes my blood boil. my stupid fucked up head is telling me its my fault, if I wasnt so big and stretchmarky and maybe if I wasnt so tired and achy all the time, I would sleep with him more and maybe he wouldn't want to spend time with her. I've asked him outright time and time again if he's slept with her, and he keeps saying no. I don't know what to do, I want to catch him out, at the same time it breaks my heart to think he would ever do anything like this, he's supposed to be my best friend, the person who loves me. I need to catch him out, or have evidentual proof.

You'd b better off without him.

__________________
Juices like wine, like the blood in the sands.

Im so sorry for you, it would have been better if you never had a baby with him instead of an honest faithful guy that you truely deserve.
"Friends" don't send friends that are taken, sexy photos of themselves, where they are basically nude.
Maybe if he just looked at some annonymous porn because you may never feel sexy during your pregnancy it maybe somewhat understandable but this girl is a REAL threat. He is actaully meeting her in secret in person.
Don't suffer this fool, please, you are better off without him. Give him an ultimatum, you or her, you dont mind his other friends, just her. He will drop his "friend" like a hot cake if he's honest, if he picks his friendship with her over his pregnant girlfriend, he's obviously fucking her.

Yeah - unless you want to continue living like this ....?

Ahh, I'm really sorry But it honestly sounds like he's cheating on you, I was a similar way with my boyfriend, but things were the other way around, I was cheating on him, deleting my messages etc & it sounds like you're in pretty much the same situation.

This girl needs to go, either that or your boyfriend needs to be ditched, it's a tough situation for you, but you can't trust him anymore. You need a good long chat with him & work out what to do.

Hope you get things sorted

Something is definitely not right there, lying, naked photos and a map to her house? I mean come on! Also don't let him do the whole 'you're pregnant, paranoid, crazy, hormonal etc' thing, sounds like he's just trying to manipulate you so he get away with whatever it is he's doing/thinking about doing. I think for the sake of your kid you need a serious discussion with him, and if at the end of that you don't feel happy/secure or you feel that things haven't been resolved you should think really seriously about your future and your child's. And even if these naked pictures, cosy car rides and msn chats are all 'innocent' wft is he doing making you feel like shit at the one time in your life you really need to feel secure and loved. I mean what's he playing at?!

I read all of your post. Do the following:

STEP 1) Find a public assistance lawyer to help you make sure this loser will takes care of his financial responsibilities for the child. Do not take his word for it-- because he's proven himself to be irresponsible. GET A COURT BEHIND YOU. You need to take care of this as soon as possible because your hands will be full once the baby arrives.

STEP 2) Emotionally wean yourself from this loser. I don't care how pretty this trashy bitch is, HE's going to seem a lot LESS SEXY to HER once he's saddled with the financial responsibility for another woman's child.

STEP 3) Do not feel guilty for steps 1 & 2. You owe it to yourself and your child. You should not be saddled with the sole responsibility of providing financially for the child, and disregard anyone who judges you for making sure he starts acting responsibly.

Don't take his word for it. His word is proven unreliable. Get it in writing with the courts behind you. He might piss & moan or even says he hates you but all you have to say is: "you've lied to me; I just want to make sure you keep your word because even if you don't realize it, I realize that having a child is a big deal."

Good luck!

Please don't be so naive. Of course he is sleeping with her. And if hasn't yet, he will eventually. How much more evidence do you need? The time spent with her, the texts, the sexy messages, the hair thing on his car floor, him spending Xmas eve with her and on and on. If it looks like a duck, walks like a duck, quacks like a duck.....

u've caught him in way to many lies ur gona get hurt if he keeps it up kick him in th ballz

Chances are he's screwing the duck too.

I imagine he's hurt her already, and more than a few times

But the crotch kicking is a good place to start.

*Then* the court stuffs

You poor thing, this story breaks my heart. You deserve better than that. Don't let this go on any longer. Make him choose, you or her, & no more lies.

__________________
If you are Canadian, there is a 30% chance you are already in Broken Social Scene

I'd call that enough evidence to know he's doing wrong
and leave him. Gather every bit of strength you have,
pack a bag and go.

I'm very dependant on other people and would probably
go to my mum's or a close friend's house, someone who
you know loves you very much and will be great support.
There you can safely get on with legal arrangements
and avoid any face to face discussion/accusations which
might turn into a nasty argument. You don't want to be
throwing mugs at each-other 30 weeks into your pregnancy.

I hope you're doing ok. Let us know.
love and best wishes xo

Some day, that girl will get a big, juicy slice of karma served to her, trust me.