I'm a very sociable outgoing gurl. I have a great time with my friends and a promising career and I'd like to meet a boy to have fun with but it's a nightmare. Everyone I meet is either 17 or taken. At uni guys were never an issue. There was always a new place to go with friends and meet friends of friends who lived close. Now in the working world everyone seems either old enough to be my dad or taken. I don't really enjoy trailing the clubs on the weekend cuz I'm not desperate. I'd rather have fun with my mates when I go out rather than chasing randoms. Is internet dating really the only way these days? Is that what it's come to? That's kinda sad. Anyone else finding this shortage of eligible men / knowing where to meet them?

They (we?) are all busy on KR after work reading the vagina manual.

Or maybe still just working.

*wonders where everyone goes after work*

cf. my 'Relationship CV' thread. I think I'm in a similar boat to you.

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the last bf i had i'd been friends with for 2 and a half years before we decided to confess our crushes on each other/make out.

the current guy i'm casually dating i've known since i was sixteen.

from my experience, it's best to make friends that happen to be straight males and let something eventually develop. and trust me, if someone would've told me like a year ago i'd be into the guy i'm dating, i would've given them that "oh no you didn't" look.

and where do you meet them? the most unlikely places. Like, at work. Or, while waiting in line to get your drivers' lisence renewed. You know, where you're least expecting to. The grocery store picking out apples? sure. BARS AND CLUBS are the worst places though.

Basically, when you're not looking BAM there they are.

yeah it really is hard to meet people and actually get something going as you have to make quite an effort if they are someone new or potentially ruin a friendship or embarrass yourself if they are a friend.
I've always found college/uni is an obvious place but meeting someone at work isn't necessarily a good idea, friend of a friend is probably the best option.

When you break up & have to see them every day

I have to spread my love before I can love you again.

I've decided this is the best advice. I'm seriously retarded when it comes to reading members of the opposite sex and their intentions etc though, so don't listen to anything I say.
BUT. I almost hate to say this because it will sound like I'm bragging but I'm never looking for anyone yet they just show up. (keep in mind I've been at university for 7 years now ) I'm completely average looking too so it's not like people want me as some kind of trophy. I have had time away from school though and it was still the same. Of course I was younger then so who knows. My point is that I suspect people can sense when you're looking and I also suspect it's a turn off. I don't know because all of my relationships have started off pretty naturally- like Rozalia's bfs, most of mine were my friends first.
I have even found this to be true online. I would never visit a dating site but I have met a couple of people online just on message boards and stuff. Again, not looking for them.
sorry to ramble on there.

If you are really not content to sit around and wait maybe consider taking a part time job somewhere with lots of people? I'm thinking a coffee shop or something. My sister met her husband after she graduated from college and was working in a retail shop until she got a job in her field. I'm thinking if you have the time for something like that it might be worth a shot because all sorts of people- different ages, occupations, etc have to buy things. (unless you pick a retail job that caters to a specific demographic.)
or maybe volunteer somewhere if there's a cause that interests you and will allow you to work with people?

btw, spasmachine, what does cf mean?

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i think it means compare with?

Yep, 'compare and contrast' basically.

I totally get where Herekitty's coming from, there's a very zen quality to finding someone. It's a bit like trying to remember a word or losing your keys. However, I also see where the thread is coming from in terms of being in an environment where you're going to meet someone. I've a similar problem in that my social scene is a bit of a sausagefest.

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His last request was a bulletproof vest or a god

i like how the number one similar thread is Dutch gay rape HIV orgies.

However, I know what you mean, it is hard once your main social outlet is work. Try and get involved with something you care about: local music scenes, art, take an evening class, charity thingies. I think i agree with the don't go looking thing, pick something you actually want to do rather than something just with lots of potential partners.

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