friends in abusive relationships - Page 2

riot_pixie · #6 07-16-2007, 03:13 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by nicole28

I know it's hard, but all you can do is still be a friend to her even when she's being a ***** to you. Because someday she will be so greatful for it. Does her other friends and family know? If not, make them aware. Something so terrible could happen to your friend if they're not careful. What if this guy got counselling.. anger management?

I'd be very worried for the child as well.

yes, most of her family know/friends know. it's not really a big secret. she isn't so meek, she's not one of those women, she is strong, tough, and hilarious... i think it's her pride that keeps her there besides anything else. i can't think of any other reason.

you're right, i should stop this argument before it escalates further.

riot_pixie · #7 07-16-2007, 03:14 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by Nightblooming Sickle Cell

I completely understand from both sides. I know this from my own experience.

When I was going through that same exact thing, my friends would confront me about it. And every single time they would, I would ****ing LOSE IT. But the thing was, I knew what he was doing to me was wrong. I wasnt sure why I was defending him. Your friend seems to be just like me. She forgives too easily, and cant let go easily.

Im not sure what had finally let it kick in for me..I think I just got tired of it and completely overwhelmed.
But your friend has been going through it so much longer - I dont know how Id stand it.

I know this is rough to say, but just tell her when it happens again, you wont be there to defend her. You may be her friend, but she needs to listen to you like a friend should. Maybe thatll be a kick in the face for her.

i doubt it. we have other friends that have said that exact same thing, and she has just turned her back on them. if i were to say the same thing, there would be nobody left to keep a watchful eye for her kids' sakes. :S lame.

Zeke · #8 07-16-2007, 03:18 PM

Always tell a brother if you got one, That's when a big bro comes in handy. Or even a younger bro. Set the mother****er straight.

But the logic here is simple. Women should just up and go, leave them immediately. Dont even look back, they arent worth the bother.

riot_pixie · #9 07-16-2007, 07:02 PM

this is true but after seven years, a kid, and him rendering you useless after all that time (no jobs, no resume to speak of, no drivers license, etc) what do you do? where do you go?

Insomnia · #10 07-16-2007, 07:04 PM

Thats pretty rough, it must be very frustrating for you. But I agree, that if you keep arguing with her, she will just be left with no one. Maybe try now to encourage her to do somethings that will build her confidence to leave/ be more independent. Its pretty easy to see why someone keeps going back when they feel like they are pretty helpless in the world (and have a partner who most likely tells them that on a regular basis- physical abuse rarely occurs without emotional abuse and sometimes sexual abuse). Maybe encourage her to get a driving license, or a part-time job, something that will make leaving him and staying away easier next time.