my extremely verbally combative and defensive 16 year old sister... is having sex.

now. last night at 1am, she had problems peeing.. blah blah blah, clearly it was a UTI. i took her to the ER, it got dealt with. but along the way i told her she has to pee before and after sex with her boyfriend, or she's just gonna get more UTIs. and after a couple attempts at arguing.. she finally whispered "well.. i didnt know that..." and it was just understood that she's sleeping with him.

now, i really dont live in this house ever. but am just crashing here between apartments. she and i dont necessarily get along that well.. but our parents are really ****ty. my mother has since figured out (via webMD) that UTIs are usually caused from sex.. andddd last month she had a bladder infection which she refused to talk to anyone about.

anyhow. my mother wants to sit down with sister, her boyfriend, and my father to like.. lay it on the line and talk about using condoms and such.

this is only going to make my sister more detached, irate, embarrassed, and defensive.

sooo.. i'm going to try to take her out to dinner tonight and talk it out.

my sister is like borderline retarded in many ways. she didn't know what a UTI was.. or how to book her own medical appointments, or how to find directions to walgreens -- these things.


so... i figure, for her own best interest.. i should talk it out with her tonight.

but.. her boyfriend is a manipulative player and a total dickface. i'm sure he's cheating on her.. and i'm sure he doesnt use a condom.


wtf do i say to my 16 year old sister who thinks she knows everything, but really knows nothing?

__________________

i am so vain. and yet, so masochistic. how can the two coexist?
-francesca woodman

say it with a slap!
or like spy on the boyfriend together!
itllbefun!
follow him around

maybe you could turn in into stories that have happened to other people and just like pretend your telling her funnies but THEYRE REALLY FABLES of the seuxal kind?

i dont know
i thought sex was something men did to hurt laides for A LONG TIME
i took me about 7 trips to the mobile library at the park before i could fiinally bring myself to look in the facts of life book

tell her she can get pregnant
tell her she can get diseases
tell her she can get diseases and get very ill from those diseases
tell her to practice safe sex
tell her she can say no
tell her to practice safe sex

I don't think there is going to be any way to tell her without getting a negative reaction from her. However, it doesn't mean she will not listen. She might just be embarrassed, not only because her sister is acknowledging her behavior, but probably also 'cause she might feel a little guilty for being dumb about sex. I guess if anything she might be afraid you're disapproving of her having sex, which I'm sure you are on some level, if only because she isn't being careful.

My sister is almost 13 and though I don't expect her to have sex anytime soon I'm just really glad she can talk to me. One of my friend's sister's (15) just had a baby and I could just see the expression of repulsion from my sister at the thought of having a baby. God, I hope that continues.