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Originally Posted by birthmark1  Ok first of all, there have been quite a few condescending comments put to me like "what age are you!" etc. Well as pathetic as it may sound to some of you out there, the fact is this is upsetting me and I don't need to feel any craper than I already do. But I guess that’s just life and anyways that’s not even the issue.
I understand they can't help the way they feel. But I feel so humiliated. Like you wouldn't believe. I already have low self esteem and now its rock bottom. I haven't seen this friend in a while but I did last week and well all I felt when I seen her was pain, embarrassment, rejection, humiliation- I'm sure ya get the picture! I guess on some level I think she is better than me.
I wish I had been not bothered when she told me they kissed and had decided to be together. But I was. I can't help it. I had to let her know how she went about it was not very nice, in my opinion pretty ****ty! I wish I had pretended it didn’t bother me. I think life would be easier. As, all these other people wouldn’t know about it. I feel like I have made a fool out of myself in how I reacted - on top of feeling **** for been rejected for friend. I don’t have many friends. Now I have barely anyone. She has the guy, all that group etc I feel like I am been punished.
I am sorry if it looks liek I am ranting etc I just need to say all this and get some advice and even alittle empathy. |
It was a ****ty thing for your so-called friend to do, even if you didn't have a claim to him.
If your self-esteem is so low, you do not need to be looking for a relationship right now. It sounds cheesy as hell, but you can't love someone else if you don't love yourself. Be alone for a while, and work on yourself. You say that you've always had bad luck - you're attracting it. You attracted a friend who takes advantage of you. Consider this recent humiliation to be the last straw - something that pushes you to improve your self-esteem. Take responsibility for the things that happen to you. You deserve better, but you really have to
believe you deserve better. Forget boys for a while, you won't be able to have a really good relationship until you become less insecure.
It's not easy. I'm doing it myself right now and it is very difficult to change the way you think and to break your habits. Here's a little trick
called the Emotional Freedom Technique - it's good for giving relief from a problem. Use it when you feel embarrassed or rejected. Get online, or get some books about boosting your confidence. You don't have to go all hippy or New Age to accomplish this, you just need to learn how to change your negative thoughts and learn to really care about and trust yourself.
Good luck
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