I never posted on the forums before and just used to read. I think of you as my friends but I am too shy to talk to you. I really need to express my emotions because I do not have many people close to me in my life.

My long term boyfriend of 5 years pasted away last week and I am not coping at all. To be taken so suddenly from me I feel lost. I doubt any thing you say can help me but I think writing this message is a form of closure for me and him.

I wanted to say to him that I love him and he was my life and meant everything to me. Now that we are apart I hope you are in a better place now and smiling down at me and that you will wait for me when I die and be faithful to me wherever you.

I am feeling too emotional to finish this but I feel like if I die soon I will be happier than if I live. My life is meaningless without you and I will always love you so much my words could never express how I feel ever.

I will respect you now you are gone and please tell others to hold on and love every moment you are with your love because you just never know when they will leave you.

All my Love,

Ange

i don't know what to say but i'm compelled to reply to let you know that i've read this.

pouring your heart out can be such a relief, kinda like taking a huge shit, ya know?

i wish i had some words of comfort but i've never experienced anything like this before.

i'll say this though -

i'm constantly surprised and pleased with the strength of the human spirit.

growing up, i knew a lady who's son was brutually murdered as he slept. the lady was given his little girl - the only thing he left in this world - to care for. when she was 16 years old, she asked her grandmother if she could go on her very first date with a boy. she was excited for her and said yes. later that night the girl was killed in a car crash.

and this lady found strength. not sure where she found it, but she did, and growing up i never remember seeing her without a smile on her face.

in my more optimistic moments (and i do have them) i'm a firm believer that we can get ourselves through anything.

and somehow be stronger for it.

i know you can too.

my thoughts are with you. i dont know what else to say, i know how hard it is not to be the one you love when they still around but what you're probably going through i just can't imagine.

I don't know what to say. But my thoughts are with you. You sound incrediably strong.