well ex friendship anyways.
so tonight he ims me and starts telling me how he misses me, its been a month since we talked, no one can replace me, he NEEDS to see me yada yada yada.
so in a moment of weakness i called him and said just come over. unfortunately i could tell it was this same old him on the other end. he was going out to some club anyways and said he couldnt tonight.
i really dont think i share the same sentiments as he does over this. in the last month i have felt so relieved. i havent had his constant unnessecery quips, his so above every one attitude etc to bring me down. and in the process i HAVE changed.
he wants me to call him so we can talk it out tomorrow after im off of work. i really dont want to. do i even really owe it to him? i mean i did call him in the first place.
ive just felt so free without his negetivity. i am not the same person i was a long time ago. ive constantly been changing throughout the years, trying to grow as a person, and he kinda just brings me down.
and we've had the we cant be friends unless we treat eachother better talk i dont know how many times. things get better for about three days and then he's right back to being rude to me and im right back to having to constantly be on the defensive. to me, thats not friendship, thats some twisted type of co-dependancy.
ya he was MY fag but i really dont see him that way anymore. infact i see him in a completely different light than i did when we were friends. i really just dont know what to do. i mean theres things about us being friends that i miss but overall i feel better.
it took me forever to see that just because there was a quantity of ten years in our friendship does not mean that added up to quality.
how many chances can you give a person before you just need to give up and move on?
do you think i should even bother giving him another chance? because if i do and nothing changes im done for good. would i just be wasting my time do you think or should i hear him out?
i mean i will say my piece but i dont think he'll like it one bit. i really at this point dont feel the same way he does about mending our friendship.
look i know better than to bare my soul like this here. but i also know for all the hateful people there are here, there are also some really good and wise ones. thats who's advice im seeking. any othe replies will be ignored.
i just really dont know what to do, i sorta feel gross and weak at the thought of letting him waltz back in to my life.

Regardless of whether you called him you didn't want to really be friends with him again in the first place. I think you should do without.

I've had that kind of a friendship (Hell, I'm in one right now, but I've known the guy 8 years so I'm just seeing if it'll get slightly better soon). They're a bitch to take care of and that's all you end up doing is just looking after how much you like that person. It's a waste of time. You should do anything you can to continue being happy and if that means telling him off then do it.

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"Hey Ram, doesn't this cafeteria have a no-fags-allowed rule?"

I know that it's a tough situation, but I think you owe it to YOURSELF to just let the friendship go. I'm not exactly sure how he drags you down? But I know exactly what you're talking about, and it will be better in the end if he's just not around. Always being on the defensive isn't healthy and it's highly emotionally draining. If you want to grow and change as a person, he can't be around to stifle you. Kay?

I totally agree with this. You're friends should make you stronger...
Don't be in a friendship you're not happy with - after all you can choose your friends...

When it comes to friends
Quality is better than quantity.
He sounds better off as an aquaintence that you'd only talk to if you bumped into him but often those people dont get it. Better to ease it off by avoidence and ignoring or just saying that "going to the club all the time isnt your thing anymore" It well maybe not the case but that's not the point, you just say that so he wont ask you to go there with him.

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