My friend called me last night in tears having found a drawer full of pictures and letters from her boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. He's still mates with her and they hang out. My mate is constantly arguing with him about her. I asked her if he was doing something wrong or if she was just insecure. She said she hated the fact that they'd watch DVDs together in his room but surely if she trusts him this shouldn't be a problem. She can't deal with him being mates with her and finding all this stuff really upset her. But don't we all keep things from our past? I know I do. Is it really that abnormal to keep pictures and letters in a draw and hang out with ex's or should she be concerned?

i don't think it's a problem to keep things.
i have pictures and letters from my ex's, and my boy has told me he has all that stuff too. i've never found it, i don't go looking for it, i guess i don't really care all that much.

but.
if i found out my boy and his ex were hanging out in his room watching DVD's? i'd definitely have a problem with that.

i think it's ok to be friends/friendly with exes, i just think there's a fine line you have to be careful of, and it sounds like he's crossed it.

your friend should talk to him about it.

I agree with that.
Everyone has a past and its up to them if they share it really. Personally what happened in the past stays in the past but i guess not everyones the same.
Did she look for them or just kind of stumble across them? If she did look for them then she obviously doesnt trust him anyway- no wonder if he's watching dvd's with the ex however- thats not on.

watching dvd's with an ex would be too much for me. i would be okay if they hung out in groups but one and one AND in his room is just....too weird.

Well I find boys arent as sentimental and dont keep EVERYTHING from the last relationship??? Maybe a few photos here and there, maybe a gift, but a whole drawer dedicated to an ex....I know some girls cant bare to throw things out but with boys, I think there's some emotional residue in his brain he hasnt washed off completely. If he's got left overs on the brain I wouldnt like him having alone time either, one on one sessions in the bedroom, even if its just DVDs.

It's none of her business if he wants to keep old letters and pictures from his ex. A lot of people keep that stuff and it doesn't mean he still has feelings for his ex... it just means he wants to hold on to memories from his past.

However, when it comes to hanging out with the ex, there is a fine line. I personally would have a problem with my boyfriend hanging out with his ex alone in his room. Fuck that.

i dont think thats nessisarily true

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