my bf of nearly 2 years broke things off a couple of weeks ago. He did it over the phone by leaving a nasty message on my mobile anserphone. the next day he kept ringing me but i chose to ignore it. then the following day i spoke to him on-line and he pretended that he hadn't remembered ending things. i said 'i can play you the message if you like' then he suddenly remebered. he told me he wasnt happy about his decision and we spoke on the phone for about an hour or so. he said he was miserable with his financial situation and felt very alone, i told him that he pushes the ones he loves away and will end up very lonely. apart from work colleagues he has 1 friend. he broke down on the phone and was crying and i ended the conversation saying that he had got what he wanted, i loved him but he ended it not me, he apologised.
the next day he completely changed again and said how he has loads of people around him and i was being nasty.
a few days later i found out i was pregnant, when i told him he said the best thing is to get rid of it. he said he would support me financally if i decided to keep it but he didnt want to be a father now (in the past he said it was his dream for us to settledown in our flat and have a family) he said he didnt want to have 'baggage' at this stage of his life. that night he went out with work 'friends' and ran me when he got home which was quite late, he sounded very happy and said we could do it, we can get on (his reason for us splitting was our constant bickering). after this i re-assessed the situation and spoke to my sister and mum, and they agreed that i wouldn't be able to rely on him. it hurt alot...but i decided not to continue with the pregnancy. after this my ex said some quite hurting remarks (which was to be expected) he then asked me not to speak to hi ever again.
2 days later he started talking to me on msn and he seemed fine, i asked if everything was ok and he said he had been thinking and 'what's done is done' and nothing can change it. he asked me to go over to his and when i got there he said that 'we can still try' as he loves me too much and that we just need to argue less. i felt so much better and it gave me some hope. the next day he rang me and said he was un-sure this was the right thing and too much had happened. upset yet again i didnt speak to him for the rest of the day and he said he needed a new start and we shouldn't talk. the next evening he rang me a few times, but by this point im so confused by his behavior, i hated myself for doing it but i ignored his calls, he then txt'd me and said 'just wantd to make sure you are ok'. the next day i spoke to him on-line where he had changed his msn name to 'would she take me back?' we talked and i asked what he was playing at and he said he regretted his decision and he did want us to get back together, but has since decided a new start would be better, so again im in tears. a couple of days passed and we talked again, he seemed fine and i thought maybe we could just talk, i asked if we can meet up to talk and he said, 'talk to me over the phone or dont bother talking to me again' so i said fine & goodbye. the next day he rang my mobile about 5 times, i didnt answer so he rang my home phone which my mum picked up not knowing it was him. i spoke to him and he was really cheerful and said he wanted me to be the first to know he had passed his theory driving test' i congratulated him and said 'yesterday you asked me not to talk to you again so please do me the same courtesy and fuck off' i then hung up. i felt terrible.
i was signed in on my msn, i'd left it on while i went out clubbing that night to try to cheer myself up, when i got home he had messaged me and just put 'lol' the next day (yesterday) he came on-line and spoke to me but i didnt answer. i havent heard from him today. but i just can't figure out his behaviour. he says he still loves me but surely if he did he wouldn't treat me like this.
if he doesn't want me then he should just leave me alone, but then i think why can't he? if i said to someone don't talk to me i would mean it, and its like he still has to have that contact. when we broke up over xmas, we were split for 2 weeks properly but he still txt'd me. i just wish i knew wot was going on in his head. i know most of you will being saying to get rid of him, but when you love someone its so hard to ignore them. ive always been clear to him about my feelings and if he just said to me he didnt love me anymore it would make it a little easier.
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