I've always seen a relationship as a time when people can hang out, have fun, get to know each other better and see if they want to spend more time together. However, in my experience and that of many of my friends, as soon as you say you're exclusivly with someone (in a relationship) it get's so serious you may as well put a ring on your finger. In a matter of weeks people are saying 'i love you' and planning a future together before they even really know each other. Why does it have to get so serious so fast? I'm not saying being commited can't be fun but why do people feel the need to commit that fast?

I think it's a weird trajectory that people get onto in the hope of Being Happy, & they forget that it's okay to go slow

'A guy what takes his time
I'll go for any time
I'm a fast movin' gal I'd like some slow
Got no needs for fancy drivin' when I see a guy arrivin' in love
I'd be satisfied, electrified I know a guy what takes his time

A hurry up affair, I always give the air,
Wouldn't give any rushin' gent a smile
I could go for any swinger who would contemplate to linger awhile
A lullaby would be supplied to have a guy what takes his time

A guy what takes his time
I'd go for any time
A hasty job really spoils a master's touch
I don't like a big commotion, I'm a demon for slow motion or such
Why should I deny that I would die to know a guy who takes his time

There isn't any fun
In getting something done
If your rushed when you have to make the grade
I can spot an amateur, appreciate a connesseur at his trade
Who would qualify, no alibi to be the guy who takes his time'

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Now honies play me close like butter played toast

lalala

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

to each his own.
it works for some people.

these are cute lyrics.

I think many people enjoy having high speed mini-relationships and all the lovely drama that goes with them.

they were originally sung by Mae West but Kathryn Williams covered it recently and I love it.

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Now honies play me close like butter played toast

Jumping into a serious relationship too fast is dumb. I've always thought that people who tend to rush into a relationship and say 'i love you' after two weeks are immature and naive. It's very highschoolish. And also maybe they are just too insecure in themselves to be alone for a while to figure out who they really are without a significant other.

I think its ridiculous people professing their love to people they have know for three weeks. Its like, hello, you barely know that person. Its the same people who break up two weeks later. And its generally a good indication of clinginess. I have a friend for whom every relationship is like that, two weeks in they are picking names for their first born.... and in the three and a half years I've known her she's had 5 boyfriends, despite being single for a year and a half of that. So not a great lasting time for any of them despite the proclaimations of eternal love.

urgh, my and my boyfriend have been together two months.And we are pretty serious as relationships go. I dont even know how as when i got into it i said to myself it wouldnt. But we kissed on the first date,slept together within 2 weeks or so, discussed sex, and we are just at the stage where we are beginning to feel comfortable around eachother. now dont get me wrong, im really into him..but for once i just wanted a relationship where i was nervous for like, 2 months.. you know?
Of course we havent told eachother we love eachother,because we dont.
owell.

exactly! that's my favourite bit!

I've been in this situation...i was young & stupid. We were talking about marriage after only 6 months. He was crazy! Glad I got out of that when I did, or else I might have been married to a psycho.

I thought saying you loved someone you barely knew wasn't "real" love until it happened to me. I knew from my first date with my boyfriend that I had met someone spectacular and that he was going to have a huge impact on my life. I had fallen for people before in a lusty way, in a neurotic merging kind of way but this was very different (and yes, I knew before that the other times weren't the right fit for me; i just ignored that gut feeling out of fear or horniness!). I felt very immediately drawn to my boyfriend and also knew that there was no rush. So, in a weird way, knowing I could take my time, knowing we weren't going anywhere, made it easier to fall in love more quickly because there weren't any games or defenses.

We said we loved each other after only knowing each for a few weeks and it absolutely felt true. But we both are very pragmatic, reasonable people who thought, "Is this nutty?" And we just talked about it. It didn't and doesn't really matter if it was "too" fast in other people's or even our own eyes. What mattered and matters is that we were able to talk about our fears and misgivings openly.

No one can say what is too fast. Our feelings came about very quickly so we've been careful not to move fast in other ways, like moving in together. And as crazy (in a good way) as those first few weeks were, now that we are truly in a relationship as two humans with flaws and problems and fears, it's not all wonderful. But we're absolutely committed to being together because we know we wouldn't connect like this with just any old person. We are exactly what the other person was looking for. Even the bad, seemingly annoying stuff is the stuff I need to learn and vice versa.

Also, we're both almost 30. Not old but older, been through some shit. Sometimes you can move fast when you're older because you just know what you do and do not want more quickly! But we also know that yes, we're still getting to know each other even while being committed. That's both fun and hard. I hope I'll always be in the "getting to know my partner" phase. I still need to know myself in new ways every day. We've got a pretty good balance of all the fun, headrush, jump into it stuff and the slow, thoughtful care we need so that we can be together for a very long time.

yes. i definitely agree with this.

It's wonderful that it's worked out for you so fast! I totally get that it can happen.

Just a little note though. My ex was 29 and I'm 23. He already had us married and 'together forever' after having spent just a month together. This is all great if both parties feel the same. And can work if one person is feeling it if they don't constantly tell the other person! It just puts far too much pressure on you to feel the same and in the end it just couldn't work.

Just enjoy it :-) xx

i always seem to feel this pressure when i am getting to know someone
and i hate it becuase i really don't feel like there is any point of planning to be exclusively w. someone for long term until you have gotten past that initial stage of excitement which generally seems to last about 3 months

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should i choose a noble occupation
if i did i'd only show up late and sick
and they would stare at me with hatred
plus my only natural talent's wasted

I've always found that the more time you spend with someone, the more you realise you didn't know them as well as you thought you did. People that say 'I love you' after two weeks spoil the rest of the relationship-in my opinion coz when it does come to saying it-it doesn't mean as much.

a guy i knew and i began dating six months ago, he told me he loved me after 2 weeks, after 3 weeks he moved in. yesterday i was upset over easter plans, he packed his bags and was gone within 2 hours-told me he was sick of fighting
im thinking what kind of fuckin love was that?

foolish

but hey, that's not so bad. one of my friends met a guy who just never left after date 3, he just officially moved in. they stayed together for 3 years, though one was consistently unfaithful and had lots of unprotected sex behind the other's back. he then had a super dramatic break up, and asked me to be a witness for when the police were called to help get back his possessions.

drama. lame.