Dear Ashley "Lardbucket" Martin,
I have never communicated with you, nor will I ever.
I just want it to be known that I have absolutely no respect for you.
He may not give a damn if he ever sees that award again, but I do. It's a very high honor and he will never win another one.
I don't know who you thought you were to ask for it in the first place seeing as how your fat *** certainly didn't hop into the ring to earn it, but after things ended between you two, you should have had the common decency to give it back.
Also, it's not like he'll ever recieve another pair of official boxing shorts from the ****ing Olympics.
I DO NOT WANT YOU TO BE IN POSSESSION OF THESE ITEMS. You acted like the biggest piece of **** to him and you do not deserve to have such important things of his.
Whether you geniunely can't find them, got rid of them, or are simply holding onto them because you are a selfish pig, I find you to be most de****able. He asked you nicely and you just acted like an immature loser, in spite of your tireless attempts at being percieved as intelligent.
We may never see those items again, but I'd like you to know that we burned every photograph of you, he gave me YOUR choker (it looks better on me; he even said that he couldn't fit a finger into it when you wore it, whereas he can drag me around), and your blanket is covered in various bodily fluids from both of us due to all of the great sex we have had on it; I plan on giving your precious blanket to a street bum downtown.
That being said, have a nice life. May your plane crash on the way to Washington and get you closer to your God, you ****ing hypocrite. Because every overbearing, Bible-thumping God warrior masturbates so much that the metallic finish on her vibrator flakes off and then asks her ex-boyfriend who she treated in a most un-Christian manner if he wants to have sex with "no strings attached."
-Your kinder, smarter, thinner, and much prettier replacement.