Ok, I went out with this guy , guillaume, we were together from September to November and then he broke up. I was really sad but I end up ok and we started to be really good friends, it was finally a good thing bec we were in the same classe... In January he started to have some problems and he decided to leave college. I totally freaked out, I couldn't support the idea of him being out of my life and I realised something like "shit I'm so so in love with him". The problem now is that he is back with his ex. I think he understood that I still care about him bec of my reaction when he left, the pain was worst than when he broke up with me, I just couldn't deal with that. But he did not abandoned me , we started to see each other very oftently. One day he told me "I would be pissed if we stoped being friends" and I asked him why wouldn't we be friends anymore? He said "bec I want us to back together". I was a bit surprised, and he was still with his ex! So we went through a fight , a was so pissed at him for telling me that bec he was with his ex. We didn't speak for a week or 2. We finally saw each other and things went as they used to, we were not back together. I sent a message over the phone to friend of mine, telling her stuff about guillaume like I missed him and I was still in love with him...I remember I wasnt really focus on my message, I was listening London Calling from the Clash really loud in my room and I sent the message to... guillaume. So embarrasing. It was a MISTAKE. We talk about it, and I ridicusly try to denied it...
Anyway my point of my thread is that in late February during holidays, we saw each other the whole time. We went to a party together to a friend of his. We had a great time but, we end up sleeping together. I feel so dumb. I knew he was back with his ex, I knew we wouldn't be together in the morning but I did it anyway. I think we totally screwed up our relationship this time. I mean it's clear that I don't want to be just his friend, I can't. I want to be back with him. Now we see each other less than once a week, I have the feeling that he got what he wanted and that he dosn't give a shit about me anymore. I just can't believe this is happening to me, I wake up in the morning and I think about it, Ithink about it the whole day, I cry like a baby the WHOLE time. It scares me, I have the impression to be obsessive, like "why doesn"t he want me back". It's so so painful. The whole story makes me sick, yesterday he was in town, I passed next the new place were he works and I didn't really mind until I saw his car and I knew he was there, I felt SO bad, I almost threw up. Jesus, what the hell is happening to me?! An d when I think about him and his girl, omg it makes me want to kill myself. I think he is an asshole,he knew that I still loved him bec the message I sent him by the cellphone, but how am I going to get out of there?? I can't forget him, I miss him so bad, I havent got any news from him since last thursday, since have been sick...oh my god what am going to do...

why would you want to be with someone who lies to you and would cheat on their girlfriend?


stay away from him, don't call him, don't walk past his work and try your best to get over him.

I don't know
He did ugly things but I don't know how to move on. I kept thinking about the good moments we had. I miss him so much. I haven't see him for a week and my friends say it's the best thing to do but I can't deal with it.

it is the best thing for you to do.
you may feel like you can't get over it now, that's how everybody feels when they're going through something like this.
but time will pass and with each day you'll feel better and better.
eventually you'll find someone else.
you may not believe it right now but trust me it will happen.

I agree with the above. You need time to get over it. It will be extremely hard, it always is and there isn't a damn thing you can do about it cept deal with it. But one day you'll wake up and you're entire perspective will change. You may not be completely and utterly over it, but your view of it will change and you'll be able to move on.

__________________
"How wrong it is for a woman to expect the man to build the world she wants, rather than to create it herself."

"I postpone death by living, by suffering, by error, by risking, by giving, by losing."

"I will not be just a tourist in the world of images, just watching images passing by which I cannot live in, make love to, possess as permanent sources of joy and ecstasy. "

-from the goddess that is Anaïs Nin