..ok i didn't know where to post this due to the new layout and all, but hopefully this is ok.

2 months ago I broke up with my boyfriend of 2.5 years for some one else I met at uni. He's a virgin and relatively inexperienced compared to me, but this doesn't bother me. Every time we try to have sex he comes before it can even happen, or he can't stay hard, I'm feeling really frustrated and confused because its starting to impact on our relationship. I feel like we've tried everything, from loads of foreplay to none at all, but it seems like we are never going to be able to have sex. If anyone has got any advice or experience in this sort of thing I'd love to hear it because I really don't know what to do

Thanks xx

Some guys are chronic premature ejaculators. But yours is a virgin. With time that might all change. I think I've seen lubricants advertised for "control" purposes, if you haven't already tried that.

you said you've tried lots of foreplay.


but what about like... letting him come, then trying again?

boys aren't that good with the whole coming loads and loads straight after again. so like. the first splooge should be easy. then the second time he might go for longer?

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

Unless his libido disappears after he comes. An annoyingly common male tendency.

he's young though. i mean give him ten minutes and he'll be okay?

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you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

Perhaps. Once can hope...

I tried making him come first...but then he couldn't stay hard.for a second round.. from what you guys are saying it seems pretty hopeless

Well, there is one other thing....have you trained him in the fine art of cunnilingus?

alas no, i lack the confidence to tell him what to do!! he does make me come though, hes very good with his hands...and i love giving him head - which he's fine with. It's literally just sex that he seems to have a problem with, so some how i need to make it not a big dealm or let it just sort of randomly slip in when he least suspects it?!

Most of my posts seem to involve alcohol, but in my experience i can never come if i've had more than a few drinks or it takes like over an hour, has he tried that?

Any kind of amphetamine or stimulant drug might work as well. Although, it also might make him impotent. And god knows, you can't doodle with a dead noodle.

when ive been with boys and generally when they've been drinking a bit, it takes ages to finish. i've had that loads.

but there's also drinking and then nothings happening so it's a fine line.

__________________
you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking

he sounds really nervous. i think its going to take trust. no rush. no pressures. when he trusts that youll be with him even if he "sucks" at it, or whatever else he may be nervous about, it will happen. and if hes good with his hands, anything else can be taught.

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When I awoke, the Dire Wolf
Six hundred pounds of sin
Was grinning at my window
All I said was "Come on in".
Grateful Dead

Good point. Don't let expectations rule the relationship. The mind is the real sex organ. Give him some time to adapt, and let him know that friendship does not require perfect sexual performance. You need to talk. He needs to feel relaxed with you, because he doesn't want to let you down.

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Marerophilia:
A depth of love that youth can seldom appreciate or communicate;
A love that never can die for it is a wild seed living inside us, and it is what it is;
Love: that which bonds the reality of one's being to the mystery of the unknown;
Wildflowers: evidence revealed."
~~carefulcarpenter

I've never had the impotence thing no matter how much i've drank which is quite lucky i suppose.

Firstly, don't get too disheartened, babe. It might take a little more time for everything to work itself out, but it's REALLY not that rare a problem...especially considering how little experience he's had.

The having him come first is good advice, and of course you shouldn't expect him to get hard right away and stay hard, it might be an hour or two before he's ready to go again, but at least then he won't have a load just waitin' to come out and should make a difference as to how long he will last before coming.

Not making it a big deal is the right way to go about it, pressure is a sure fire penis softener...even better than imagining granny in a thong.

So put some time aside, a whole afternoon or night, make the first half about foreplay, let him come, then spend some time on you...and once he's hard again, try again. get him to wear two condoms if the stimulation is too much... but frankly, i think it's a psychoogical thing. If he's a virgin, just the idea of penetration is hot and an orgasm trigger so no doubt the first few times intercourse may be a blink and you'll miss it event ... but after that, things should settle down.

and alcohol lol...is evil! only satan could invent a substance that makes you super randy fuck me hard horny... but then eliminates your ability to come!!

And take the pressure of yourself too.

Have you let him do you up the anus yet?

alcohol is no good, i already tried that one, im gonna try lickikitty's advixce methinks...it just sucks because i really thought he was comfortable with me, but obviously not. arrgh im so frustrated!

try ketamine