Ok, I KNOW I am being ridiculous. I have been with my boyfriend for almost a year now. I am American, he is Scottish. (adding that in, since I'm obsessing about nationalities with the ex). His ex is French- they broke up 2 years ago, were together for 4 years. She has NOT re-entered the picture, so its not like anything has happened to make me feel all this jealousy, but its basically just cause she is French. I know that’s crazy, but as an American I have this stereotype in mind of French woman (you know, the whole glamorous, etc thing). The thing is I know I am prettier than her, I also know he obviously has chosen ME and not her. But why can't I get these crazy thoughts out of my head? I keep having nightmares about their life together, etc and feeling all insecure and crazy. Why am I being so silly? Please help me grow up!

Hmmm.

I work with lots of French people and they're not good looking or stylish at all. I don't mean to be offensive, but I think you see it from an American point of view. Maybe the idea that French women are glamorous is pretty big in the USA, but here in Europe, esp in Britland, we don't see them like that. I mean, in the UK they get called "froggies", surely it's not a compliment

I am Italian, my bf is Scottish. I know for sure he's REALLY into the way I look (very mediterranean), YET I am very jealous of his exes, who were probably completely different from me. I dunno, you probably need to work on your jealousy full stop, without worrying about nationalities.

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now that I know that I'm breaking to pieces
I'll pull out my heart and I'll feed it to anyone.

I prefer Italian coutre to French, personally. Please forget the notion of the French being sophisticated despite the fact that they balk at Brit/Irish sausage and processed cheese. Your boy is with you, keep reminding yourself that, there's no need for insecurities.

my gf is argentinian, i'm scottish too, (is there like a million single scottish women now?) and we talk about the differences sometimes, I don't think of her as argentinian though and it never comes into how I see her.

plus the french don't quite have as great PR here as they do in america haha. We're too close to them to let them fool us into believing they're any better than anyone else. french or not, I bet she had crazy hair and bad breath when she woke up in morning.

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Would you like a cigarette? They're quite exellent.

i get jealous of my bfs ex because they were together for 4 years and i think she just didn't deserveto be with him. haha. its ridiculous. and i waste so much time thinking about it. stupid things like movies they watched together, imagining the inside jokes they had, etc. if you figure out how to stop it, please let me know. because im being an asshole.

Thanks to everyone who has responded. I am replying to DollDrummer because your post stunned me, I feel EXACTLY the same way as you. And I hope we Do figure out how to stop! lol

I think all of you are right about me having false notions about French women. I have no clue why they are so glorified in America.

I really wish I wasn't so insecure.

Same.. I lived in a house with 6 French people when I was in Ireland for awhile and there was maybe 2 hot people that ever visited. The rest were just
Just hope that she was one of them and he now got some taste.

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Juices like wine, like the blood in the sands.

It depends on the type of french..if you're talking french canadian I would understand why you'd be jealous.

i tend to get jealous when i think about exes so i just don't. if i catch myself starting to think about it even a little bit i force myself to stop and think about something else.

it's easier said than done, i know.

i don't think the nationality is really an issue. i mean, everybody thinks about their partner's exes at one point or another. if this girl wasn't french it would probably be something else you'd be focused on.

That's not helping her!

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Juices like wine, like the blood in the sands.

maybe you should start imagining scenarios in which your jealousy drives you to do stupid things that makes him break up with you
that might sound crazy but if you make fun of your jealousy or show yrself yr waiting yr time by letting you imagination go nuts in opposite ways every time it starts to go down that path you might lighten up a bit.

girl, u trippin'...........stop trippin'

French, Russian? meh

Brazilian chicks are hot. I know only one hot French Canadian... She is an archaeologist

this is what i try to do. i stalk her myspace so much its embarrassing, i imagine that she knows how often i look at it and the embarrassment makes me stop. (for a bit-then i lose the self control) hah.

stellargirl- i dont think its insecurity, not for me. i think its because im a control freak. i wish i could go back in time and date him before her, but thats just not how it was meant to be- he wouldnt be who he was if he hadnt dated her as much as i hate to admit it. he doesnt obsess about my exes and ive had a lot more. but hes so mellow and laid back. :P

see i knew him when he was dating her, so i sort of knew her, but didnt like her. she treated him like shit and it mad us all (his friends) mad. the thing is, it still does because now i love him and want to protect him. but im ruining myself and my relationship in ways by thinking about HER too much. sigh.

I wasnt trying to be helpful, I was trying to be honest.

isn't there a program that tells you how often people look at your profile? if so she might well know... or know one day

what about the fact that yr boyfriend would probably be freaked out by it? doesn't that put you off?

i just don't see the point in having a relationship with someone if you don't feel secure in their love for you.... yr wasting your time looking at her profile when you could be doing something better. can you imagine when yr like 80 years old you look back & think omgi can't believe i wasted so much time doing that.

Well now that you mention it, I DID google her. It doesn't seem she has a myspace- at least if she does it isn't under her name and she isn't on my man's or any of his friends pages. There are a few sites about movies she is been in (did I mention she is an actress? a very unknown actress, but still). Actually the whole "actress" thing plays into the whole French thing in my mind. That somehow she is more interesting than me. UGH, I am just going completely mad!

the funny thing is i am totally secure in my relationship. he doesnt even think about her. its not about him. its about me. when we first started dating, her and her friends flipped out and did some mean things to me. i wanted revenge but its not my style- so i took the higher ground. i feel like sometimes i wish i had just done something and it would be finished business. (or not knowing them) either way, yea he'd be mad if he knew how much i looked. and with myspace u can see how many times people have looked, but those trackers dont really work or so ive heard. she has pictures with him on her page and has written about him and his family, and it just angers me. another reason i shouldnt look.

i know im being an idiot, ill be the first one to admit it. its the masochist in me perhaps. i KNOW looking is a waste of time but i still do it. why? dont know.

im just being completely honest about it.

I GET THAT ALL THE TIME.
Just not with the French part.

The girls not even remotely in his life anymore, but for some reason this ugly fuckbag always comes to my mind, and I always compare myself to her.

But I think Im better than her anyway.