Anyone else afraid of long-term commitment?

I was married for four years and after that debacle, I can't even guarantee my current boyfriend I want to be with him a year from now. We live together, but even that was a huge leap for me. I know I'll never get married again, but he jokes about it every once and awhile so I know he thinks about it. I feel pretty bad for him...since that's something I'll never do again. I've told him that, but you can't stop people from wanting certain things.

Anyway, who else here gets their stomach in knots when they even think about marriage, kids, engagements, etc.?

Yeah me.

Im in the same position as you, although i wasnt married but i lived with the guy for 4 years - about 2 of which turned into emotional abuse and severe unhappiness and depression. Now i think i relate long term relationships with that kind of unhappiness - i know its silly and that not all relationships are like that. But im so happy on my own, so i dont see why i should leap into that big scary area again.

You shouldnt feel bad for your current bf, you've been straight with him from the start about not wanting to get married, im sure if he wasnt happy with that he would have told you.

I used to have it.
Fear of getting hurt = fear of commitment.
thts wht it was with me anyway.
'Till I met my current boyfriend.
But even now it still creeps up every now and then and if anything breaks us up I'm sure that will be it.
Time will probably heal you. And remember that ou can't hold your boyfriend responsible for the past.
xx

Never say never is what I say. Dont think at all, full stop! If some natural progression happens in a relationship dont think, "oh I promised my self Id never," ,you might end up regretting not giving something ago while you had the chance. Having something not work out, you can always leave it, but the pain can be just as bad when faced with regret at not going for it. Worst thing you could do is think about it too much, co-habitation is in vogue anyway, lol.

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Thanks kr for the subscription! Much love..

i have a fear of being forced into a static kind of relationship / life... i enjoy moving around alot , and living with a free and unrestricted life style,i dont stick to the same social circles, i enjoy that freedom - i feel thta marriage will kinda ruin thta - i kinda plan not to get married if i can help it, but im sure the beast will catch me in the end