As much as I like romance, I never invest enough of myself into someone to make it feel real cos I'm afraid of the results and jealousy and negative traits I take on when I'm "in love" which I think is nothing but a chemical state of mind anyway.

It's like I want something then slap myself in the face for trying to get it cos I wonder why I'm wasting energy on a feeling I don't think is real.

Hot/cold, on/off. I'm one of those at times. It's quite vexing for me plus whoever is stupid enough to like me.

You gotta learn to deal with those negative traits you speak of. Avoiding intense feelings because you may feel jealous and whatnot is not good for you. Don't let fear screw possible good times and some great pleasure in the future. Yes, love can turn to hurt and heartbreak but that is the nature of the beast. Plus, if you REAAALLY are into someone, it is usually hard to not get invested in them, which makes me think you just have not found someone whom you can truly fall in love with yet, but STILL I think that not exploring the other possibilities won't bring you anything but disconnection which IS also a negative thing. Don't live your life in fear of getting hurt.

hey crassy

ive always wondered how people like you tick. i have no dignity; i just lay it all on the table my insides splayed out. which im proud of in a way and ive gotten to experience some really great things, but ive also experinced some serious embarasment and pain. i think there must be some sort of inbetween where you slowly over time become intimate and allow yourself to feel intensely without analysis but only after assessing that this is worth the investment and its possible horrible return

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honestly?? i'd suggest getting to figure out what you really want by getting to know yourself first, have fun, go out and all but practice making yourself a priority in your life,

its really hard to have healthy and happy relationships when you feel bad for the person who's with you.....btw ive been there and done that But once i figured out how to really like myself and do what makes me happiest and keeps me healthy, shit started working out and I"ve had healthier relationships. And broke off the unhealthy ones, romantic or otherwise.

Probably not the answer you were looking for so sorry if its not