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12-13-2006, 04:56 PM
|  | *fag hag whore* | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wiltshire,England
Posts: 1,001
| | | hmmm here's the deal. One of the christmas temps at work fancies me. I know this because he is friends with this girl who is kind of seeing my best mate. Now, I had seen this guy around college last year and I yes I fancied him. I love the Gregg Araki teenage angst trilogy films and he looks exactly like James Duval crossed with a nice big slice of keanu reeves circa the my own private idaho era. At first when I heard this, I had assumed it was a ploy to set up some kind of double date thing. It isn't, he really does like me.
Now, this is all lovely except here's the small print:
* I am 21, will be 22 in the summer
* I am still in love with my ex (who by the way, was the more realistic age of 24...I say was, he is now 25)
* I am moving to Brighton within the next few months.
* He is 18. He will, i have learned, be 19 in february
* He is still at college
* We are in totally different places.
So, um...help! is the age thing a big deal. I know I am not the same as I was at eighteen in any way shape or form...bar my love of Placebo I suppose. I mean, I like the guy, he's sweet and funny and the whole loveable stoner thing is fine...but I do see him as a kid. I have to work with him tomorrow. On the other hand it is very flattering but I need a proper adult, not a teenager. | 
12-13-2006, 05:21 PM
|  | would rock the japanese | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: In a flesh wound
Posts: 1,608
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by *cherries darling* here's the deal. One of the christmas temps at work fancies me. I know this because he is friends with this girl who is kind of seeing my best mate. Now, I had seen this guy around college last year and I yes I fancied him. I love the Gregg Araki teenage angst trilogy films and he looks exactly like James Duval crossed with a nice big slice of keanu reeves circa the my own private idaho era. At first when I heard this, I had assumed it was a ploy to set up some kind of double date thing. It isn't, he really does like me.
Now, this is all lovely except here's the small print:
* I am 21, will be 22 in the summer
* I am still in love with my ex (who by the way, was the more realistic age of 24...I say was, he is now 25)
* I am moving to Brighton within the next few months.
* He is 18. He will, i have learned, be 19 in february
* He is still at college
* We are in totally different places.
So, um...help! is the age thing a big deal. I know I am not the same as I was at eighteen in any way shape or form...bar my love of Placebo I suppose. I mean, I like the guy, he's sweet and funny and the whole loveable stoner thing is fine...but I do see him as a kid. I have to work with him tomorrow. On the other hand it is very flattering but I need a proper adult, not a teenager. | I'm 23 and the thought of seeing an 18/19 year old doesn't sit well with me much. I wouldn't put it out of the picture completely though. Give it more thought, maybe even a try and that age difference thing might go away. | 
12-13-2006, 06:02 PM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chicago/NYC
Posts: 1,564
| | | 21 and 18 is not that big of a deal. It's only 3 years. I think you should give him a chance. You never know... he might be mature for his age and he may turn out to be a really cool person. | 
12-13-2006, 06:06 PM
|  | She's like the wind | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your face.
Posts: 7,013
| | | I don't see that the age difference is such a big deal but the different place might be?
__________________ Diving for pearls. I want a lolly. Summer lust, oceans still left to cross. | 
12-13-2006, 08:01 PM
|  | Part-time narcoleptic | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Oxford and London, of the cold old UK
Posts: 2,617
| | | I think that a three year age difference is an issue if you are looking for something long term. But if you are looking for a bit of fun to distract you from your ex, then why not? And I think it can work longer term- my friend had a three year relationship with a guy she met when he was still 18 and she'd just turned 21. And another girl I know, aged 24, has just started dating an 18 year old. You may have different lives in terms of work, experience etc but as long as you share some of the same views/sense of humour/perspectives, then it can work fine. | 
12-13-2006, 08:55 PM
|  | Asking for It? | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: New Jersey
Posts: 1,321
| | HAVE FUN!!!!  your young, he's young, you enjoy each others company, he fancies you, you think he's cute...............
Your on the rebound, the last thing you need is a 'proper adult', too complicated, a fun fling is definately in order to get your confidence back to pre break up (if its not down even better) but looking for wedding bells nahhh
I see no problem with hanging out with him and if things go further great if not you've got a hang out buddy who may have equally as fun and interesting friends. Just be carefull that you can keep it out of work so it doesnt get you in trouble there  | 
12-14-2006, 08:47 AM
|  | Lets stay up | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Australia
Posts: 7,500
| | | if the age gap is going to be a problem for you, then just don't. my sister and her bf are 2 years apart (her being the oldest) and it is a problem for them at times. location location will be a problem. and being in different places? well nobody is really always going to be in the exact same place as something they are contemplating. you can only take chances and see if they'll pay off. | 
12-14-2006, 02:31 PM
|  | pull me out of the lake | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: soho
Posts: 13,141
| | | i'm 23 and my boyfriend was 20
the age wasn't a problem
__________________ you'll go to hell for what your dirty mind is thinking | 
12-14-2006, 02:36 PM
|  | Santanico Pandemonium | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: DC
Posts: 3,110
| | | For fun is good, but if he really fancies you and you lead him on well that isn't very nice...I can see the whole "simple prop to occupy my time" idea some are saying but make sure he knows you intentions if you do proceed. | 
12-15-2006, 10:05 AM
|  | *fag hag whore* | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Wiltshire,England
Posts: 1,001
| | | As I haven't worked with him since I was told about any of this, I've only been told things through other people. Apprently he really does like me, he said to the girl who is seeing my friend, that he really likes my outlook on life, my theories and the way I look at things. Now, since the only thing I can think of that i've said to him along those lines was that he shouldn't change himself for other people, I don't really get where he's coming from....i mean that's not exactly profound is it? Anyway, I have asked said girl a bit about him, his interests and everything. To that she replied that he's a major stoner who gets really sketchy when he's stoned. Lovely. I gave up doing all that at seventeen. Also, the other part of the equation is that I work about 25 miles from where I actually live and commute daily...this would mean i'd have to do this every time I wanted to see him. On a bigger note, if he wants a relationship then he isn't going to get one from me I don't think. I still regularly pull my ex and still love him completely and I really don't want to hurt this guy. Like someone else said, fun is fun but only if both people agree with it. | 
12-15-2006, 02:08 PM
|  | Overdriiiive | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: Wales!
Posts: 70
| | | Your both adults.
You both want this.
People waaaaay older than 22 go with 18/19 year olds...
As long as your both adults there isn't a problem...
IMHO any younger would be dodgy but it's fine.
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