I'm having a bit of a dilemma. (sp?)
I have been wanting to travel around South America for the longest time.
I was single when I started planning this and really not planning to get into a relationship. I am now in a commited relationship and moving in next week. I will be living rent free and working a full time job so I will have the opportunity to save ltos of money to go in a few months.
I was originally planning to go for about 6 months or longer. I cut it down to three months when things started to get a bit more serious with Jonny.
I have told him about my plans and he says we will be together forever so it doesn't matter if I go away for three months but it does freak him out and he doesn't like discussing it. He doesn't have a job he can leave so he can't go with me.
I was planning to go at the end of March adn the closer it go the more that it freaks me out to think of leaving him for three months. Do you think I'm being silly? Do you think it would be even siller to sacrifice something I have really wanted to do for a long time bascailly because I'm scared of changes in my life that it may cause. Has anyone been in a similar situation?

ive sacrificed plenty growing up and i want you very much to go. make a diligent effort to include jonny while you are gone. write him a letter a day. collect things for him wherever you go. make sure he knows the entire time youre gone that you love him, just bc this relationship is new and you want it to continue growing. this is springtime for your relationship. let him help you plan, include him in as much as you can. if he doesnt want to help you in any way at least get him to try and talk about how its affecting him and love him through that. but please do go.

__________________
When I awoke, the Dire Wolf
Six hundred pounds of sin
Was grinning at my window
All I said was "Come on in".
Grateful Dead

thank you geek.

Honestly, yes I think it's very silly to cancel your trip just because you don't want to be away from your boyfriend for a few months. This is something you've been planning for a long time and it sounds like it's important to you. So just do it. If he loves you then he should understand. And it's ONLY 3 months. It's not like it will be forever. Why should it "freak you out" to be away from him?

If its meant to last it will survive alot longer than just 3 months apart; if not than at least you'll get to say 'I went and didn't sacrifice what I want and MY life for another person' take a poll on how many people have 'sacrificed' their dreams to make another person happy. If its been your dream to go then he 'should' (i fucking hate that word) be happy for you despite being sad about how it affects him. If he loves you then he should (theres that fing word again) be more concerned about your happiness, in this instance, than his own. Its not like your going to never return. Of course this is based on my definition of love yours may be different.

After all the shots you have to get to go to Africa and the cost it's not a decision one makes lightly. WHY would you sacrifice your dreams? Thats the part I don't understand, actually I do bc of my friends and now those people are in the process of getting divorced or already are.

I dont mean to sound harsh which I often do but if the tables were turned what would you do? how would you respond? People who 'freak out' when someone is on their own may have some control issues, do u think he does? I hope you go and enjoy it and share lots of pics, i've always wanted to go but $$$ has been the issue for me

You should go! Trust me, if you don't you will end up really regretting it. Three months really isn't that long as long as you call him/email him often enough. One of my very close friend's boyfriends has just gone off to Canada for six months and although she misses him it seems to be going fine- they talk all the time and I think that sort of thing can make you a lot stronger.

to be honest I'd feel crummy leaving my significant other for three months to travel. I'd want him to be there with me to share the experience. And if it were him who was traveling I'd be sad too and not wanna talk about it either. This is just me and everyone is different. But as everyone else has said, you shouldn't deny yourself something you have desired to do for the longest time.

totally agree!

also...i traveled for two months last year in the summer...and i wrote
my husband everyday-collected little stuff for him-called him as often
as i could etc....and it was great!
we don't regret it and we're still together and everything is great...
you may never be able to do it again,so if you have the chance,
go for it!

Sounds like you to have a much healthier relationship than most,

There's something to absence makes the heart........ in my opinon. If I were to ever get married, and i doubt i will bc of how i view traditional marraige, I'd expect seperate vacations and to be trusted while away and vice versa. Too much together time can be unhealthy

you'll only be gone for three months?
i say YES and go for it.
three months is nothing.
it may even be good for the relationship.
my husband and i used spend summers apart, i'd stay in canada, he'd go to to the USA to work.
it was hard at times, but also a nice break.
and it allowed me to spend more time with my girlfriends.
and don't they say that absence makes the heart grow fonder?

yeah,we have a great relationship and we had only been married
for two years at the time...

my parents have always traveled separately (and together ofcoarse)
but they've never had issues with that...

i don't see it as a big deal IF you have a good relationship and one is not
too needy.

thanks for all the advice guys.

I think I just need to stick some of these pictures around my room to look at when I start getting scared. To be honest I think I'm probably getting scared about other aspects of it as well and lumping it all in together with the one thing I can identify best.

It is probably just nerves about other stuff. When I was 18, I went travelling for 6 months (the first four in S America- Brazil, Uruguay, Argentina and Chile) and whilst i was looking forward to it massively, in the three days before I left I CONVINCED myself I didn't want to go and cried solidly for the last 24 hours. Then I got on the plane and LOVED it. Going away is always scary.

tell me about your travels in south america please.

knowing what its like when you're at that stage in a relationship, i wouldn't go. would you genuinely enjoy it as much as you would if you waited a while longer until he could come with you? i guess it depends on what kind of person you are. i would spend the whole 3 months sniffling.

Well I spent three months teaching english in salvador (NE Brazil), which is a beautiful city and lots of fun for carnival, then I spent a week and a half in Rio, which is a great city- lots of partying and sites to see, don't be put off by the crime stats, then we flew/bussed it to Montevideo in Uruguay, which isn't a very nice city (and I'm annoyed to this day that I missed Igaucu falls), but Uruguayan people are the friendliest people I met in South America, and we went to a town called Fray Bentos (of the corned beef) and stayed at a lovely estancia and got very spoilt and rode horses all day every day. Then we caught the coach to Buenos Aires, which is a fantastic party city, though it might be a bit more costly now then when I went post-currency crash in 2003. Then we coached it across to Mendoza, where wine is cheaper then water, which is worth visiting if you are at all interested in sports cause they have lots there like white water rafting and hang gliding etc After that we caught a coach over the Andes (beautiful) into Santiago, which I hated. It was smoggy, industrial and very boring. However I hear great things about Valpariso. After that we flew to NZ. An incredibly potted summary of six months, but tell me what you want to hear more about.

It will probably be a while until he would be able to come with me though. He manages 1 band and 1 singer, he does co-manage them but he would never leave his job for three months to go travelling with me.
I think people are right that if the relationship is strong and meant to be then it will survive it and if its not then fuck it. I've had this feeling I woke up with one day that has been with me ever since that I HAVE to go there.
I'm just getting cold feet cos I'm a scaredy cat sometimes.

Insomnia.
did you go on your own?
did you read up about it lots before hand?
was it hot hot hot all the time?
what was the food like?
Did you stay in pre-arranged accommodation or peoples hosues or hotels/hostels?
Did you feel different when you came back?

after seeing those picks, i say you must go (and if not can i have ur ticket )

they are absolutely amazing!! I'm so envious of your trip