Do you ever wonder if the reason why you still love someone even though you havent seen or heard from them in a long time is because you DO actually love them or whether you just have conjured some fantasty that the relationship was better than it actually was?

I dont have someone in my head at the moment, but I just had to council a good friend through a scenario where he was completely in love with his ex, and she didnt feel the same, so I was wondering if this is common. I know its happened to me before...

I wonder that all the time. Also wonder if that's the reason they still "love" me.

I think it's 50/50

Most time when you look back at a realationship where you cared about someone a lot you seem to remember the good times and think "why did we even break up? i love that person so much still." But if you were to get back together with that person you might find that it wasn't what you thought it would be like. Sometimes it's really hard to move on, but you need to just push forward.

I've loved someone before very much, but it just never worked out because of other reasons. We didn't stop loving each other (i don't think atleast on my part) but sometimes you just have to let it go to be happier in the end.

i'm still in love with my ex.our relationship was intense, abusive and very complex, and it didn't really come to an official ending, because we were practically still together for a year after we split up.now it's very difficult because she has mental health & drug problems.but anyway, i do tend to focus on the positive aspects & the great times we had, even though i know it was really painful at times.it makes it so much harder to move on.

i still think about my ex. i haven't seen him for a long time and it makes it so much easier to remember the nice stuff and forget all the horrid things. it's so easy to romanticise past relationships and exes.

Yeah its weird huh, how your brain can play tricks on you like that. I wonder if its a diagnosed condition??

I used to do it with that guy I complained about all the time when I first started posting here (what a dooooork). Now I couldnt give a hoot!

Its sad,but sometimes love is a one way street.

__________________
"I don't care if your world is ending today.
Because I wasn't invited to it anyway.
You said I tasted famous, so I drew you a heart.
But now I'm not an artist I'm a fucking work of art!
I've got an F and a C and I got a K too.
And the only thing that's missing is a bitch like you!

You wanted perfect?
You got your perfect!"


http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v5.../jadestone.gif

Nostalgia; remembering the good times, forgetting the bad, idealising what was and not really remembering what's been. People who still pine should remember this. There's usually a good reason why you are not with them right now.

aww, you romantic realistic captain..

I never look back and think, 'awww where are they now' i just think 'my wardrobe has definately improved since then'. BH you're right, there is always a good reason as to why you aren't with them.

Think this is the wisest thing ever said on KR, nice but true in a sad kinda way

I'm still in love with my ex and probably always will be, I will move on and have already started that process but a part of me will always love him.
We had our tough times but yeah I only ever think of the positives.
I know I love him though, its not just cos I think things could of been better or different, because things couldn't have been, they were perfect already.......just certain things fucked it up, nothing to do with either of us, just events that happened, that changed his view on life and as much as I wanted to stay around and support him (I tried, but it got too hard), I couldn't anymore because I have two children that will come before ANY guy, no matter how much I love him and how much it hurts to let go.

I like to think i hate the ex

but i know that if she ever came back. I would run back again with the snap of her fingers.

__________________

Diving for pearls.

I want a lolly.

Ah...the must complex of species...the ex.

BleedingHeart's got a point...there's a reason you're not with them.

If it was for personality clash...things might never change...but sometimes it was purely circumstantial... and sometimes when those circumstances change, your mind starts to wonder...could it work this time.

After my breakup...ahem, read:dumped by my BF, the weirdest thing was, i couldn't stop thinking about and talking to my other ex...THE ex...come on, everyone has The Ex...the one relationship that meant more than the others... it was like i was trying to rebound with him. BIG mistake... lol there are DEFINITE reasons why we're not together. His love for dishonesty being one of them.

I think that the circumstances in how your broke up also make a difference...i mean when you're the dumper...sometimes you're left with dumper's remorse or sometimes a twinge of doubt about whether it was the right decision...and as the dumpee... you're left wondering...if you ever meant anything, or if they ever even gave you a second's thought after they spoke to you that last time.

all in all...you're doomed.
i'm all for pulling an eternal sunshine for the spotless mind.

It's usually this.

it's deffinaltly fantacy. It's the good things you remember covering up all the shit you went through to get to where you are now. I thought it could happen again too but when I met up with him it made me realise just how far I'd come and how "samey" he was. It's that "in love" feeling that you miss, not him and you will find that with someone else, probably when you least expect it, when you're not looking at all becasue you're so damn happy being yourself. Then it'll come and you'll be so joyously happy right before you're dragged through all the same old shit all over again - probably becasue you remember things from last time which aren't even relevant now - but it's pretty while it lasts.

Incidentally, I love the "relavent" ad links at the bottom of this thread

EDIT: Damn! They've disappeared! Before they were ones about how to get your ex back and things about boyfriend problems. Maybe they are on rotate. Now they're about copyrighting

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__________________

Diving for pearls.

I want a lolly.

They're back! They reappeared at the bottom when I came back on the thread. Yeah, don't click these links people!

I've deleted them so people aren't tempted to click!

__________________

Diving for pearls.

I want a lolly.

the worst is when you think your finally over them, and you stop thinking about them for a while, and then you suprisingly see them somewhere.
im having a crashing breakdown at the moment from this, lol. gehh i hate people.