i met this guy 2 years ago, and we liked each other. until today, we have been making out and kissing each other from time to time, and we also have become good friends. the point is he has a girlfriend and they have an open relationship when it comes to sex... so the only problem is i've always kinda wanted more than just friends with benefits... he seems to have a lot of issues with her gf, but i've waited long enough to realize they're not likely to break up. another thing i hate is that he's also always looking at other girls and talking about hot girls he met or something. I know this is fucking stupid and it's a no-hell-no situation... but i just cant help liking him and i keep telling myself i will only see him as a friend... but i really cant. i just like and hate him more everyday at the same time.

Also, i recently broke up with my boyfriend (we also had a semi open relationship) so i'm feeling very lonely and being with him and kissing makes me feel a little better than as miserable as i would feel i was completely alone.

i know there's not much left to say, but any advice other than the obvious "you're retarded he's and asshole"?

It's pretty simple really. He has a gf, so he's with her. You have the benefit of being allowed to fuck him due to the openness of their relationship. Until they finally split if that were to ever happen, that is all you are permitted. Sex without love. Accept it readily, or just stop. Or tell him how you feel and maybe he'll ditch her for you.

But I doubt that.

you only want him because you know you can't have him.

Since you like him and get jealous of him talking about other girls, I think if you fuck him, you'll only make yourself very, very miserable. I think sex either has to be with "love" or at least some sort of reciprocity, or it has to be completely random- like one night stands with people you don't really know. Otherwise I think its just difficult and painful.

When you combine

with

it would be accurate to label you as a slut.

I actually kind know how ya feel and i hear the "you're retarded and he's an asshole" all the time.
wish i could make you feel better but i dont have any answers. i'm pretty heartbroken about mine. just know i feel for ya i guess.

__________________
getting tired of the collective orgasm at the public declaration of the word "change"

Dr. Nathanson

and this is the truth!

__________________
getting tired of the collective orgasm at the public declaration of the word "change"

Dr. Nathanson

My advice: if you want it to be a relationship and you know for a fact that he doesn't, break it off immediately. You're only going to make the situation worse for yourself, and possibly for them too. Loveless sex is one thing, but if you know you love him more than he does you it's probably not ever going to make you happy the way it would with someone you just found attractive.

That's my advice, anyway. I'm totally not against loveless/recreational sex, but in this case it wouldn't be loveless. Insomnia got it kinda right, but I think you can have a sexual thing with someone you have feelings for as long as you know it's not going anywhere and can handle that. The fact that you're talking so much in your original post about the status of his relationship, whether or not they're likely to break up, etc. suggests that you're more interested in being his girlfriend than a casual fuckbuddy, and it'd be better for all concerned if you just didn't pursue it.

Honestly, it sounds like what you need, more than a lover, is a good friend.

dude. calling a girl a slut IS NOT COOL.

"desperate" is more like it. or "asking for trouble/heartbreak/misery." I think it's in your best interest to call things off, since your chances of having him the way you want him are very low. (especially considering that he has a girlfriend, open relationship or not.)

Yeah, I mean, the fact that it's an open relationship means he can fuck other girls, not that he can date them. You wouldn't want to even share him with another woman really, would you?

haha sucks doesn't it.. when you know better.
two years is a long time though, no wonder you want more from him
i'm confused about my situation, but i'm trying to look at things objectively
i have this awful anxious feeling about it in the pit of my stomach

I thought he said that kind of tongue in cheek? But you never know, computers dont have eyebrows.

Dont do open relationships if you cant handle your emotions, you having a semi open and then liking this guy who's in an open....its all too messy, get away from them all already.

and now you know how i live

__________________
getting tired of the collective orgasm at the public declaration of the word "change"

Dr. Nathanson

do you even know where you are? srsly.

anyways, i agree with bleedingheart.
the whole thing sounds like a huge mess, you need to get yourself out of there.

and think about it this way - you get jealous when he looks at other girls, and talks about how hot they are? well newsflash sweetheart, he'd do the same if he were with you. is that the kind of boyfriend you want? so even if you got your wish, and he broke up with his girl to be with you, you still wouldn't be happy.

I agree with the people that have said, end it now.
Seriously, if he is with someone, he looks at you as nothing but a fuckbuddy!
Its just breaking your heart the more you do it.

End it now, for your own state of mind.

You have to be completely honest with yourself. He is not going to give you what you want. He will never give you an exclusive relationship.... he isn't even willing to be exclusive with his gf. If hearing about him with other girls bothers you, then you should stop this relationship right now because he's obviously not going to stop seeing multiple girls, and it will keep bothering you.