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  #1  
Old 12-05-2006, 04:24 PM
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when somone you love a lot dies

my dad died just before i turned 13 ... now im 17 . i am still really upset ... i was so close to him even tho he worked a lot . i loved him sooo much nd then he died so suddenly . people expect that you would get over it nd move on but how ? how can you move on when you know that you will never see this big part of your life ever again . i still have dreams about him and at times i even wish i would die so i could go to heaven and be with him because i miss him too much . i never really tell anyone how much i think about him because i feel like they would not understand how it feels to lose someone and think im making too big of a deal .
does anyone else feel like this ?
do you ever juss get over it ?
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  #2  
Old 12-05-2006, 04:30 PM
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i lost a brother. he was your age when he died.

it gets easier with time. there are still days that i can be mad or real sad about it.

i don't ever want to go through what my mom went through. & i sure as fuck don't want my daughter to go through what you're going through. (at such a young age)

<3
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  #3  
Old 12-06-2006, 11:32 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babii_stef
my dad died just before i turned 13 ... now im 17 . i am still really upset ... i was so close to him even tho he worked a lot . i loved him sooo much nd then he died so suddenly . people expect that you would get over it nd move on but how ? how can you move on when you know that you will never see this big part of your life ever again . i still have dreams about him and at times i even wish i would die so i could go to heaven and be with him because i miss him too much . i never really tell anyone how much i think about him because i feel like they would not understand how it feels to lose someone and think im making too big of a deal .
does anyone else feel like this ?
do you ever juss get over it ?
My father died when I was 13 also, I am 24..and STILL cry over it monthly.
Like your dad, he also died suddenly.

I cannot offer you any advice, seen as I am basically in the same situation as you. I can however say, that I don't see me, still being upset about his death, as a bad thing.
I talk about him, lovingly to my mum and siblings, we often laugh at the good times..and i think this is what keeps his memory alive.

You aren't going to get over your father dying, and no-one would expect you to.
Maybe go and see a doctor if its effecting your life to a point you cannot stand?
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  #4  
Old 12-06-2006, 05:34 PM
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i lost a very close friend a the age of 18 which fucked me up for a long time afterwards, that was 11 years ago and i still get sad and upset now. i have good times and bad times, july the month he died is sad and times like birthdays and christmas can also be sad. my friend actually committed suicide and i stll get angry about that. so many things i want to say to him and so many things left unanswered. the thing to remember is that there is no right or wrong to grieving. it will take as long as it will take and different people deal with things differently. it does get easier. often i find just chatting to people helps. but also i enjoy my own time were i can reflect and be left to my own thoughts. its interesting speaking to other people because evryone deals with things in different ways and everyone has there own take on stuff......i found i learnt alot from chatting to other people. some advice given was crap but mainly it was good. hope things improve xx
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  #5  
Old 12-07-2006, 01:26 PM
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i think whatever your age, when u lost someone you love, it's very painful and very human to feel it.
i lost my grandfather 1 year ago. u could tell me, he was old, that's natural and so on. i totally agree.
i loved him like a parent, maybe more, i spend a lot of time with him last years (he was someone very modern, curious, smart, kind and he has been pretty conscious until the end). All week ends, holidays,....i've past far more time with him that both my parents.He was someone very important in my life. he has always be very supportive, especially for my studies.i miss him very much. i regularly dream about him telling me he's ok now, and he knows i miss him very much. that' so real i wake up very quietly, as if i had really speak to him.that's peaceful.
i think time is the best friend.u learn to live with it, even if u can't forget.
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  #6  
Old 12-07-2006, 06:04 PM
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Like everyone has already said, there isnt a proper way to deal with your fathers death, as time goes by you will heal and so on.
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Old 12-07-2006, 06:34 PM
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My grandad was more of a father to me then my own. He died a few weeks ago and i'm grieving terribly. The first month I wasn't myself. I was being moody with my boyfriend for no reason - thank god he stood by me. And I had no sense of humour. Everything reminds me of him. Everytime I'm about to cry I try not too. I want to move on but i'm stuck. I cry so many times a day its silly. He wouldn't even want me crying like this and yet i can't hold back all these emotions. Anything can set me off.

When I was six he fostered me because my mother was very depressive. And I lived with him for a couple of years, so i've had such a tight bond with my grandparents.

My other grandparents died years ago and I've managed fine.

I think what gets me most about his death, is that i don't have grandparents anymore. Like when you lose a father, you don't have a father anymore. He's gone. And thats what i feel like. I know everyones grandparents die but i relied on them far to much. And now they are gone i feel like i'm all on my own with just two alcohol obsessed parents and i'm lost in the world.

And i'm ashamed to say that when my boyfriends grandparents come over to visit i'm torn with jealousy. I havn't told him this yet. maybe he knows, im not sure. But i'm hoping that time will heal. It's a very emotionally drained time. And i really feel for you. It doesn't matter how long ago it is, when you lose someone that important to you, that loss will stay with you forever. But you get stronger.
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  #8  
Old 12-08-2006, 04:31 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by babii_stef
my dad died just before i turned 13 ... now im 17 . i am still really upset ... i was so close to him even tho he worked a lot . i loved him sooo much nd then he died so suddenly . people expect that you would get over it nd move on but how ? how can you move on when you know that you will never see this big part of your life ever again . i still have dreams about him and at times i even wish i would die so i could go to heaven and be with him because i miss him too much . i never really tell anyone how much i think about him because i feel like they would not understand how it feels to lose someone and think im making too big of a deal .
does anyone else feel like this ?
do you ever juss get over it ?
i lost a cousin 5 years ago, she left 2 little girls (ages: 6 and 1)and husband..it was so shocking for the entire family to lose her..she was young,smart and very optimistic all the time.
one day she had a surgery and the doctor left a gauze inside her stomach which caused peritonitis... we thought she was going to get well..but she died..i felt sooo sad, i was speechless for a week.
how did i get over it? i didn´t ..but i just kept on with my life..i still think of her, but you know what?..you can continue with your life only when you accept the fact that this special person died for a reason.
you say that sometimes u wish to be dead..but if every morning u wakeup is because u still have things to do in this life...i´m sure your dad is taking care of u..no doubt of that.

*hugs*
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  #9  
Old 12-08-2006, 10:24 AM
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babii_stef babii_stef is offline
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thank u everyone for the support nd also answering my question . my heart goes out to you and your families who have lost somone as well .
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  #10  
Old 12-08-2006, 02:07 PM
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thank you.
good luck.
as i said yet, time is yr best friend
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  #11  
Old 12-08-2006, 02:11 PM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nicole28
My grandad was more of a father to me then my own. He died a few weeks ago and i'm grieving terribly. The first month I wasn't myself. I was being moody with my boyfriend for no reason - thank god he stood by me. And I had no sense of humour. Everything reminds me of him. Everytime I'm about to cry I try not too. I want to move on but i'm stuck. I cry so many times a day its silly. He wouldn't even want me crying like this and yet i can't hold back all these emotions. Anything can set me off.

When I was six he fostered me because my mother was very depressive. And I lived with him for a couple of years, so i've had such a tight bond with my grandparents.

My other grandparents died years ago and I've managed fine.

I think what gets me most about his death, is that i don't have grandparents anymore. Like when you lose a father, you don't have a father anymore. He's gone. And thats what i feel like. I know everyones grandparents die but i relied on them far to much. And now they are gone i feel like i'm all on my own with just two alcohol obsessed parents and i'm lost in the world.

And i'm ashamed to say that when my boyfriends grandparents come over to visit i'm torn with jealousy. I havn't told him this yet. maybe he knows, im not sure. But i'm hoping that time will heal. It's a very emotionally drained time. And i really feel for you. It doesn't matter how long ago it is, when you lose someone that important to you, that loss will stay with you forever. But you get stronger.
the first months, i cried many times. now that's more rare.
with the time going on, you learn to live with the idea.
life does continue, we do have so many things to do!
even if he's gone, he will still be alive in your mind and your heart.
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