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11-24-2006, 02:04 AM
|  | fresh outta rehab | | Join Date: Nov 2006 Location: and all the stars looked just like little fish
Posts: 3,343
| | | Falling In Love With Your Best Friend Ok so I've been close friends with her for 5 years now, and she's now one of my best friends, if not the best. It's not often that a day goes by when we don't see eachother or at least talk on the phone. When we're together it's always comfortable, and never awkward, even though she knows I've into her ever since we met. Recently she broke up with her boyfriend of 2 years (3 months ago), and we've hung out a lot more. Though they're not "together" anymore, they still have sex every once in a while, and hang out together. Recently she's talked about how she needs to find a new guy to get over the ex, so naturally, I asked her if she thought we'd be able to make something work. To this she answered that she thinks that it could probably work out quite well, but that she doesn't want to risk losing our friendship if things go wrong. What are my options here? | 
11-24-2006, 02:06 AM
|  | crown and anchor me | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: at army
Posts: 3,863
| | | i don't understand!!!! are you a girl or a boy?
__________________ i think there may be something on my head. | 
11-24-2006, 02:14 AM
|  | Bad like Leroy | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: one toke over the line
Posts: 516
| | Apparently both!  | 
11-24-2006, 02:21 AM
|  | *BURP* | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Richmond, Vagina
Posts: 1,240
| | | $10 says it's a girl. | 
11-24-2006, 10:12 AM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chicago/NYC
Posts: 1,564
| | | You told her how you feel, and she said she doesn't want to be more than friends with you. It might be that she doesn't like you as more than a friend, and that "not wanting to ruin the friendship" thing was just her excuse. Either way, you basically got your answer. | 
11-24-2006, 12:22 PM
|  | a.k.a Madge Spammer | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Panama
Posts: 8,223
| | | I once attempted to have a relationship with my best friend, well actually he seduced me, then he dumped me after a month of dating. He wanted us to remain friends because we had an AMAZING friendship like few people have, but I simply couldn't get over what he had done to me, so I ended the friendship for good. He tried to restart the friendship a few times after that but I would just viciously insult him and told him to go to hell.
We actually tried to be friends after one fight, and it didn't work out. After a like two weeks I told him to go to hell, and that's how it ended.
I don't know anything about him, I miss him sometimes but there is no room for friendship anymore after what he did to me.
I remember one time we were fighting over the phone and he was like "but why can't we be friends, because you saw my penis" and I was like "THAT'S EXACTLY IT!" It was a nasty penis what can I say.
I think you shouldn't try it. If one of you doesn't really want things to change, then don't do it, because that's what happened with me. He had a crush on me, for over a year and he wanted to start a relationship and I was reluctant, but caved in at the end, and it was just disastrous. | 
11-24-2006, 12:29 PM
|  | ...and one penny | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 2,931
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by HighClassHo I remember one time we were fighting over the phone and he was like "but why can't we be friends, because you saw my penis" and I was like "THAT'S EXACTLY IT!" It was a nasty penis what can I say. | lol! | 
11-25-2006, 02:12 AM
|  | AWAY!!! On Vacation! | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Northern California
Posts: 4,133
| | | Well, Starkist...
If it feels good go for it. | 
11-25-2006, 09:43 PM
|  | feministsforlife.org | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: In My Tanooki Suit
Posts: 4,776
| | | i'm in love with my best friend. it sucks ass. don't reccomend.
__________________ getting tired of the collective orgasm at the public declaration of the word "change" Dr. Nathanson | 
11-25-2006, 09:57 PM
|  | gotoffwivkeily | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the harbour
Posts: 6,024
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by HighClassHo I once attempted to have a relationship with my best friend, well actually he seduced me, then he dumped me after a month of dating. He wanted us to remain friends because we had an AMAZING friendship like few people have, but I simply couldn't get over what he had done to me, so I ended the friendship for good. He tried to restart the friendship a few times after that but I would just viciously insult him and told him to go to hell.
We actually tried to be friends after one fight, and it didn't work out. After a like two weeks I told him to go to hell, and that's how it ended.
I don't know anything about him, I miss him sometimes but there is no room for friendship anymore after what he did to me.
I remember one time we were fighting over the phone and he was like "but why can't we be friends, because you saw my penis" and I was like "THAT'S EXACTLY IT!" It was a nasty penis what can I say.
I think you shouldn't try it. If one of you doesn't really want things to change, then don't do it, because that's what happened with me. He had a crush on me, for over a year and he wanted to start a relationship and I was reluctant, but caved in at the end, and it was just disastrous. | You couln't have been that good friends if one month of dating made you not wanna see him again. All he did was dump you and wanted to remain friends. | 
11-26-2006, 12:28 AM
|  | carefully careless mess | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,590
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by ShyViolet You told her how you feel, and she said she doesn't want to be more than friends with you. It might be that she doesn't like you as more than a friend, and that "not wanting to ruin the friendship" thing was just her excuse. Either way, you basically got your answer. | Yep. Probably, it's an excuse, her method of turning you down easy so she doesn't make it even more awkward. Possibly, it was the truth, and it's a valid decision, and a smart one -- she'd clearly be on the rebound, saying she wants a "nice guy" to start seeing basically translates as she wants a rebound to distract her from her ex, and it wouldn't work out. She needs a friend much more than a boyfriend right now anyways, it's smart of her not to get involved. If she does like you she'll bring it back up, she knows how you feel. The best thing you can do is just drop it and don't press the issue. | 
11-26-2006, 03:20 AM
|  | hobo camp? | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: bantown
Posts: 200
| | | it's happened to me three times and has yet to end well. i think i should just stop having best friends. | 
11-26-2006, 05:25 AM
| | Registered Member | | Join Date: Oct 2006
Posts: 219
| | | I had that with my best friend.
I've given up now. | 
11-26-2006, 05:00 PM
|  | my coitus feels fabulous | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: not rolling silverware
Posts: 1,420
| | | i'm with my best friend currently and we have a wonderful relationship.
even though we have absolutely no privacy, because we share a room with two other people.
in order to make it work though you HAVE to make sure you're on the same page as far as well everything. risking the breakup factor is a nervous deed, but if it needs to happen it will. | 
11-26-2006, 05:26 PM
|  | She's like the wind | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Your face.
Posts: 7,011
| | | Don't do it!
__________________ Diving for pearls. I want a lolly. Summer lust, oceans still left to cross. | 
11-26-2006, 05:41 PM
|  | razzmatazz | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: York
Posts: 739
| | | i fell in love with my best friend and it was the biggest mistake i have ever made
people simply act differently in a realtionship
it got to the point hwere iw ould look at him and think i didnt know him at all
everything about the way he treat me had changed, and probably the way i treat him too
it wasn't intentional, but you just expect different things from your partner than you do from your friends, and someone who was the best friend in the world will not always be the best perosn to fall in love with
we eventually couldn't take it anymore and broke up and going back to being friends was not an option, too much had happened and seeing him with soemone else would have killed me. | 
11-26-2006, 05:41 PM
|  | e.c=vamplove | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: sydney
Posts: 5,871
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by creepyer If it feels good go for it. | wtf? that's really bad advice to give. but it's an alias anyway so it's ok giving them bad advice i suppose.
__________________ "I knew I was too late - and I was glad something bloodthirsty waited in the wings. For in failing at this, I forfeited any desire to live." | 
11-27-2006, 12:52 AM
|  | a.k.a Madge Spammer | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Panama
Posts: 8,223
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by walterboy You couln't have been that good friends if one month of dating made you not wanna see him again. All he did was dump you and wanted to remain friends. | we were best friends for a year, and I didn't want to see him again because what he did to me really hurt. He was the second guy I had ever kissed in my life. I felt abused, like my trust had been taken advantage of. | 
11-27-2006, 01:07 AM
| | Perfectly Imperfect | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: Orlando
Posts: 1,039
| | | Yours posts are much too autobiographical, lol.
Well anyway, Starfish we need to know if you're a boy or a girl. I think most of the time it is almost impossible for a straight guy to have a female best friend unless it's like his gf best friend that he sees all the time or something kind of like that.
ooh i just looked at their former posts. DEFINITELY a woman.
Last edited by Shredded Valentines : 11-27-2006 at 01:15 AM.
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11-27-2006, 07:17 AM
|  | je t'aime moi non plus | | Join Date: May 2006 Location: France
Posts: 702
| | | i have a few bf who were very good friends before.
now i've lost these friends and never see them again (i moved up also), except one (now i'm friend with his gf!!!).
don't do that if u want to keep friends.it changes everything.
__________________ "Je chante pour les transistors ce récit de l'étrange histoire"
- L'anamour, de Serge Gainsbourg - my spazz | |