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11-21-2006, 03:39 PM
|  | laughingandgaylikeaclown? | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the big top
Posts: 6,116
| | | being intrested in what your partnet is in a relationship
should you always be interested/excited about what your other half has to say
like their hobbies? do you think it can work if you just really dont care?
say my hobbie was about bird watching, should i tell my partner everything that intrests me about bird watching, make him listen? should my partner be interested in my bird watching or do you think its ok if you kind have your OWN life and not care about bird watching
or do you think you should both be passionate about the same thing
should he WANT to come on a birdwatching weekend with me? or should he go no a fishing weekend himself?
but if their lives were quite different do you think it would work?
its quite an old fashioned type of relationship isnt it?
the woman having her thing and the man having his thing
then their thing being eachother
im not sure i make sence
help? |
11-21-2006, 03:42 PM
|  | batwife | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: trapped in cabinets
Posts: 10,196
| | | i have no interest in my b/f job and i will NOT go fishing with him |
11-21-2006, 03:44 PM
| | laughingandgaylikeaclown? | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the big top
Posts: 6,116
| | | what if it wasnt hhis job
like his social life
should you share your social life, this is obviously not including dates and things! |
11-21-2006, 03:45 PM
| | batwife | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: trapped in cabinets
Posts: 10,196
| | | not all of it. but he's my best friend and when he is home we spend most of out time together. but if its not something you enjoy then you shouldnt have to do it just to keep them happy |
11-21-2006, 03:45 PM
|  | LIPSTICK KILLA . | | Join Date: Jul 2006 Location: air raid shelter
Posts: 300
| | i went to a land rover show once...
THAT WAS ENOUGH 
dan also came to a morrissey gig with me though so i guess i got my own back (he doesn't like him really) |
11-21-2006, 03:47 PM
| | laughingandgaylikeaclown? | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the big top
Posts: 6,116
| | hahah
so love hearts kerri you think its good that you both wake up together have breafast talk about stuff you do, like holidays dates the hosue blhalhalha then you both go out do your seprtate lives then come home and be with eachtoher and enjoy it
not go out to the pub with his friends
and listen to his stories about his friends and what they did
obviously you listen to some
but hmm? |
11-21-2006, 03:49 PM
| | batwife | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: trapped in cabinets
Posts: 10,196
| | | i do go to the pub with his friends, because his friends are my friends.
i'm in a long distance relationship so we do are own thing most of the time because thats all we can do |
11-21-2006, 04:05 PM
|  | miseryguts | | Join Date: Sep 2006 Location: dead end street
Posts: 439
| | | it's nice to show a bit of interest, but if you've tried to be enthusiastic and you really don't like it, i would just let them have their hobby. |
11-21-2006, 04:07 PM
| | laughingandgaylikeaclown? | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the big top
Posts: 6,116
| | | its not so much that, thank you for replying! i mean is it ok if youre not interested as in you dont want to do it also? or like do their hobby with them?
and should they expect you too?
like should i expect mah man to listen to me babble on about vitage clothes if thats what REALLY intrests me? |
11-21-2006, 05:33 PM
|  | murder boy | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: the business end
Posts: 2,301
| | | yeah a bit. because you'll have stuff to talk about and be able to do some things together also, if something is important to someone you shouldn't treat it as trivial.
if my gf was into vintage clothing then I wouldn't be like, pfft yeah just wear whatever, I'd be happy and talk about era's I liked. I wouldn't spend hours helping her search through charity shops/ebay and the like though. (though that's hypothetical as I am interested in vintage clothing)
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Would you like a cigarette? They're quite exellent. |
11-21-2006, 07:38 PM
|  | Part-time narcoleptic | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Oxford and London, of the cold old UK
Posts: 2,607
| | | I think you should be willing to listen to a bit of it but not hours. My boyfriend recently got really annoyed with me because he likes opera and I refused to go to the opera with him. I HATE the opera and its about 3/4 hours long so its not like its watching a TV program you aren't interested in. In his mind, anything he enjoys is better for having me along. In my mind, I'd rather do something by myself then with someone who was hating every minute of it and was only doing it to please me.... |
11-21-2006, 08:07 PM
|  | Santanico Pandemonium | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: DC
Posts: 3,104
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by miss_scarlet what if it wasnt hhis job
like his social life
should you share your social life, this is obviously not including dates and things! | hmm, I dunno. I mean my b/f takes interests in lots of the same things as me. Lots of times opposites don't attract. There should be common bonds. And say birdwatching isn't his thing, well he still should engage and be a little interested in it. I mean that is a part of you, doesn't he want to know what makes you tick? |
11-22-2006, 05:40 AM
|  | BADMAN. | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: my manor.
Posts: 6,725
| | | I think a bit of give and take is vital. |
11-22-2006, 05:45 AM
|  | Chairman~MouseyTongue | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chairman Meow
Posts: 6,935
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by miss_scarlet should you always be interested/excited about what your other half has to say
like their hobbies? do you think it can work if you just really dont care?? | I have the sense to only talk to him about stuff we are both interested in and not share in stuff he really doesnt give two craps about. Unfortunately he doesnt do the same, as we know, some boys are partially autistic and socially inept to a point where he insists on making me listen to, look at, talk about his guitar pedals. ALL the time... I like talking about them but not everyday |
11-22-2006, 07:10 AM
|  | don't rape a goddess | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: catatonic planet
Posts: 679
| | | it's ok to show some interest in what he does and in what he likes, but there's no point in sharing his interests if you don't like them. |
11-22-2006, 10:47 AM
|  | brain problem situation | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 3,625
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by gelflinggirl I think a bit of give and take is vital. | this is very true.
my boyfriend golfs. i hate golf. but i will go with him if he wants me to, maybe once in awhile.
i love clothes and fashion. he hates it. but he will listen to me go on about it for awhile. he actually can pick out designers now, just by listening to me. not that he wants to, but it's inevitable that you will pick up little things from each other. |
11-22-2006, 11:16 AM
|  | Occam's chainsaw | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: goin down in a blaze of glory
Posts: 7,045
| | | I'm sort of independent when it comes to certain things. I believe it's best for anyone dating me to have their own interests that I have nothing to do with so that we can spend time apart being individuals. I have to have my own time without my partner or I feel suffocated. And so if we don't talk about what we do in those times, that's fine by me. But I'm sure this wouldn't work for some couples, it's just the way I am.
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How many of you believe in telekinesis? Raise my hands. |
11-22-2006, 07:35 PM
|  | Registered Member | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Chicago/NYC
Posts: 1,564
| | | You don't have to like all the same things and do all the same things together. You SHOULD have a life outside the relationship and you should do things without your significant other. For example, my boyfriend is really into metal, and he has a metal band and goes to metal shows all the time. I hate metal for the most part, and I don't really take an interest in his band. I went to one metal show with him and his friends, and I was totally bored and felt out of place. I don't think there's anything wrong with me not wanting to do that stuff with him. That's his thing and it doesn't have to be my thing too. When we are together things are great and we have stuff to talk about. |
11-22-2006, 08:40 PM
|  | Lets stay up | | Join Date: Apr 2006 Location: Australia
Posts: 7,493
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by *lovehearts* i have no interest in my b/f job and i will NOT go fishing with him |  lolol i hate fishing |
11-26-2006, 01:00 AM
|  | carefully careless mess | | Join Date: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,590
| | Quote: |
Originally Posted by miss_scarlet should you always be interested/excited about what your other half has to say
like their hobbies? do you think it can work if you just really dont care?
say my hobbie was about bird watching, should i tell my partner everything that intrests me about bird watching, make him listen? should my partner be interested in my bird watching or do you think its ok if you kind have your OWN life and not care about bird watching
or do you think you should both be passionate about the same thing
should he WANT to come on a birdwatching weekend with me? or should he go no a fishing weekend himself?
but if their lives were quite different do you think it would work?
its quite an old fashioned type of relationship isnt it?
the woman having her thing and the man having his thing
then their thing being eachother
im not sure i make sence
help? | Oh for god's sake no. If your partner doesn't care about bird watching or whatnot then don't expect them to start just because you like it. I think it's best when people have their own interests and don't feel like they have to share everything. Common interests are good but when you feel like you have to take on each other's interests, then you start associating the feelings of boredo | |
