Well, we were hardly in a relationship. Although I've known him (and secretly had a crush on him) for 4 years, it wasn't until last month that he asked me for my number/out on a date. We went out a couple of times which I thought went pretty well, then a few weeks back he went away for a week and completely changed. The next time I saw him he practically ignored me, when I confronted him about it he said he didn't think we should go out anymore, that he's still in love with his ex and dosen't want to mess me about. He's totally resigned to the fact that she dosen't want him so he dosen't want anyone either... I just can't accept that. There's absolutely no chance of him them getting back together. He is pretty messed up over the whole thing and we had talked about it as he wanted to let me know what I was getting into before we started a 'relationship'. So I just don't understand whats changed. Maybe Im being insensitive but I just can't get over this guy. For the past two weeks Ive been so miserable, randomly bursting into tears etc. I haven't felt so strongly about another person in a long time. I only usually see him about once a month through mutual friends but Im worried that he's going to avoid me from now on. Im also worried about calling or texting him (as I already have a few times, asking what changed etc) as I don't want to come off as some psycho/bunny boiler - but the thought of not having contact with him is killing me.

What should I do?

(ps. i had thousands of posts at the old KR, this sucks!)

I don't think "winning" him back is the way to go. As cliche as it sounds, if he likes you, he'll take measures to be with you.

Although it's hard, since you've liked him for a while, you should really try to get over him. Go out and try to meet some new fellas. You're wasting your time waiting for him

I know your probably right, but it hurts like hell. He needs to move on himself & stop pining over his ex who isn't going to take him back. And he must have liked me if he asked me out? Maybe its just too soon.

I need to stop torturing myself over this. Im fine during the day when theres lots of distractions, but at night I get a horrible feeling in my stomach and the urge to cry. And Im not the kind of person who does cry. ever. What the fuck has he done to me?? lol

Maybe your too ugly?

I like your sig.

I think you should take it easy... I mean, the guy tried to kill himself, its not easy to end up a 4 year old relationship... Like, he has given you a chance, but aparently he gave it a thought and he's not prepared yet.... I think you should talk to him and say that you can wait a bit, just for him to clarify things in his head, but that crying wont bring his ex back.

Give him the metaphorical slap on the face, or an actual one, he needs it.


But if he used you over loneliness or you're too ugly, just forget him.