of late i've been thinking about my relationships with men, and why they all ended. and i came to the awful realization that i'm "that" girl. That one who gets typecasted as a man-stealing *****, because your boyfriend left you for me. and i dont want to be that girl, infact i hate those girls.

i think this comes from the fact that i'm intimidated by other women and their big bags of bull****, but manage to be completley uninhibited with men. so when i befriend guys from a class, or just someone i know from a similar social circle, i feel like i'm always 'that' girl who's everything their girlfriend isn't. not posessive, not needy, not clingy, not dramatic and that somehow translates to men that i'll be easy, which am not, and then they always get ****ed off that I don't want to sleep with them, while they're with someone else, or after they've JUST broken up with another woman.

so what the ****. girls look down on me, for being 'that' girl he dated after them, and men get frustrated because i won't support their cheating on a girlfriend, or being a rebound *****.

how do you break that cycle? i just want to date a guy who's ****ing normal and consistent.

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i am so vain. and yet, so masochistic. how can the two coexist?
-francesca woodman

i would say don't change and you'll eventually get what you are looking for.

not posessive, not needy, not clingy, not dramatic.....these attributes are only good, i wish more girls could be like that

yeah but i feel like i tend to attract the wrong type of men, being.. me i guess?

__________________

i am so vain. and yet, so masochistic. how can the two coexist?
-francesca woodman

Don't change the way you are just because you care about what others think. It sounds like most of the things you mention have to do with a guy leaving his gf for you, or you being a rebound.... in that case, stay away from guys who have girlfriends or who just got out of relationships.

i'm never the girlfriend. always the secret screw. i just don't think i'm girlfriend material, i wouldn't take me to meet my parents. i've been trying to figure all this out lately, i think i'm not girly enough to be the girlfriend but hot enough to hook up with.