Originally Posted by azurepalesky
Ah yes. Things are always so complicated. Silly human emotions. Life would be so much more simple without them! Though I wouldn't give it up.
Life throws so many surprises at you. Attempting to follow your heart, to make the right decisions... it's all so difficult. I think if you arrive at a point when you think, "I wouldn't trade this for anything" then you can't regret anything you've done, since it's lead to that point.
Yeah...I'm just prone to changing my mind a lot. Especially at the point I am now, for some reason I'm just really indecisive right now. 3-4 months ago when I was in town for christmas I got really close with a guy I'd been in and out of love with for years, and I could tell he kept trying to steer the conversation towards something happening with us (finally) but for some reason I held back. I thought I was ready to marry this guy and yet I didn't want to give him a chance to tell me he had feelings for me. And then I started having feelings for the guy who at the time was my friend and ex, who I talked to on the phone all the time, and fell for him during spring break when we spent a lot of time together, and we're now back together. I almost said it first this time because he'd basically admitted everything -- we both knew, it was understood, not a case of analyzing everything he says trying to figure out whether he feels anything, but I just don't do that. I feel like I'm giving in somehow. But it works, because he's the type who just doesn't/can't hide his emotions, he's much more straightforward than me.
I don't know what the point of all that irrelevant stuff was. I guess just that you never know what's going to happen or how you're going to feel. I think following your intuition is important. Something held me back from letting anything happen with the first guy, even though I emotionally and mentally thought I was ready to marry him. And months ago I was laughing at people who thought my boyfriend and I still had a thing for each other. Yet I'm completely happy where I am now. These things are weird.