i know the L&R forum has had loads of anon threads lately......so heres another one. this is all a bit pointless & i dunno what i'm asking for. there's not much anyone can say in advice

basically.... i have a boyfriend and we've been together for a while. we ve had chats about the future but he doesn't really like talking about it much. i would really like to spend my future with him but sometimes i dont feel like i get much back in that way.

i gotta be clear that i love him very much and ido know he loves me just as much....but the situation means that he can't really say whats going to happen with us.

so thats the background

right now-for the past couple days- ive had a silly crush on another guy....i barely know this guy and barely even speak to him. but for some reason i just cant help it. i wonder if its like a symptom of my sadness over the fact that i maybe dont see much future in my relationship.

i get abit freaked out as ive been in a relationship before where ive jumped ship for a crush on another guy and i really regretted it....i just dont want to see myself go through that again. its not that i doubt in my relationship....i really enjoy being with my bf even though there may or may not be any future with him.

im not going to break up over my bf over a guy i barely even know but sometimes i wonder whether these silly crushes really go away or stop happening. i had a crush on another guy before while ive been with this guy.....i never even liked the crush that much and didnt even want to be with him at all. but i hate feeling like my mind is cheating on my bf. i hate the fact that i get nervous & excited at the thought of another guy. i dont really get that with my bf anymore. we re well past the honeymoon phase and you expect that but i honestly wish i had these feelings for him and not some guys i dont even know.

thats it. advise me if you like but i have to be clear that i wont be breaking up with my bf. i just wanna know how to put these stupid crushes in perspective. the whole *is there a future* thing isnt making me want to leave my bf cos i also know i want to enjoy it while it lasts.


and for my friend who is making fun of me for writing this thread: "My BF is a tot4l hunni, but liek i dont th1nk i luv him, wh4t kn I doo?!!1" i changed my writing style for this thread. fyi. thats why it seems like the words of a retard.

Crushes and infatuations happen. It sucks because when you have them, you feel bad, and you'd feel even worse if you knew your partner had them (which they do, of course). If you're in a relationship for a certain amount of time you will eventually be mildly infatuated with someone else at some point. Honestly I think you should just not think too much about it, because it will pass (if it doesn't pass and grows stronger and you think you're falling in love, that's another thing). Just be respectful of your boyfriend and refrain from over-the-top flirting, being alone with him, etc. And don't tell your boyfriend if it's just a little crush -- everyone knows that everyone has them but no one wants to hear about their partner's.

Listen to that advice^ Most excellent.

I read in the paper the other day that women that have higher chances of becoming pregnant so while they are just about to get their period, tend to find other people more attractive and stray their eye a little

Just because you have a little crush on some other guy doesn't mean your relationship with your bf is automatically doomed. Having a crush is totally natural and normal and not a big deal unless you make it a big deal. Just because you have a bf doesn't mean you will never ever be attracted to anyone else again. Anyone who thinks that is unrealistic.

You say you have had this crush for the past COUPLE DAYS... that is nothing. Give it some time before jumping to conclusions.