The 25 Most Deserving Non-Inductees Of The Rock N’ Roll Hall Of Fame - List Of The Day The 25 Most Deserving Non-Inductees Of The Rock N’ Roll Hall Of Fame
Posted Thu Jan 8, 2009 3:40pm PST by Rob O'Connor in
List Of The Day
First off, I'd let everyone in. Why not? Who cares? It's a dumb idea to begin with. You take a counter-cultural movement and you give it a big building and charge people $22 bucks to stare at
Jimi Hendrix's guitar and underwear, assuming he wore underwear.
Getting this list down to 25 was ridiculous. If this "Hall" can find room for
Bobby Darin,
The Dells,
The Eagles,
Billy Joel and
The Mamas And The Papas, surely they can find a cubbyhole for the folks listed below. And if not, they need to rethink their spatial priorities, pronto.
25) Kiss: Ok, what's the argument here? They only did it for the money? Tell David Geffen and
Chuck Berry the news. They're too juvenile? It's called rock n' roll and
AC/DC and
the Ramones are here. Their stage show outshines their music? Paging Madonna! Their songs are crap? "I Was Made For Loving You" is no worse than anything in the Billy Joel songbook and provably better than at least half of everything the Eagles ever committed to tape.
24) Arthur Alexander: You'd think being one of
John Lennon's favorite songwriters could get this guy some respect. He'd be better off having been Clive Davis' personal assistant.
23) Sir Douglas Quintet: Tex-Mex anyone? "Mendocino," "She's About a Mover," "Dynamite Woman." They've even been on the ballot, but there aren't enough devoted garage-rockers around to give them the boost they deserve. What do these people listen to? Foghat?
22) The Cars: What's the reasoning here?
The Police,
Talking Heads,
Pretenders,
Blondie all made it. Too many "New Wave" bands? Anti-Ric Ocasek sentiments?
Elliot Easton envy? Huh? Too many pop hits?
21) Soft Machine: I guess these guys were just too weird. Or too British? No brash lead singer like
Frank Zappa for the press to zero in on? Just give another award to
John Mellencamp instead. He's normal.
20) Kraftwerk: Someday when the history of rock is re-written for the thirtieth time, it will be written by someone who had their life changed by electronic music that wasn't all that dependent on guitars. It will be weird to see. But it will happen. As everyone else will be dead.
19) Can: Best that they induct a band that actually initiated a movement vs. one that copied one. But then
Pearl Jam are likely to sell more tickets than
Iron Butterfly and Can are from Germany and unlikely to fly out many of their family members to see them receive their just due. So let's just ignore them.
18) Gil Scott Heron: With
Grandmaster Flash in the Hall, it's about time the historians do some historying and grab this counter-revolutionary for the cause. Then again, maybe Heron's too controversial for this well-heeled crowd. Turns out the Revolution WILL be televised, as a pay-per-view event and sponsored by a loving corporation somewhere.
17) Richard Hell And The Voidoids: Considering the entire punk movement of the past forty years has been ripping off Richard Hell's original look and he had two guitar players in
Robert Quine and Ivan Julian who could play circles around the competition without losing their manic spark...well,
the Clash had what? Better politics?
16) X: Is it an anti-LA bias?
The Sex Pistols couldn't play their instruments. The Ramones mastered the art of minimalism. And
Patti Smith couldn't sing. Yet, X are penalized because they never sold any records? Because critics liked them? Because the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame doesn't want to initiate contact with the letter X, explaining why
XTC and
X-Ray Spex have also been shut out? C'mon people, it's only a letter!
15) Motorhead: The Hall of Fame is going to have a hard time with heavy metal. They finally let
Black Sabbath in. Before you know it, they're going to have to consider
Deep Purple and
Iron Maiden. They're skipping right over them and going for Metallica as their symbolic nod to the music they don't like: bands that play too loud for the gentle ears of the ever-aging rock aristocracy. And Motorhead? You think Lemmy's going to go up and there and play nice? Better give another award to some dead guy instead.
14) Nick Drake: How many Volkswagen commercials does Nick have to cut for consideration?
13) The Zombies: The Dave Clark Five are in and they never made an album as good as
Odessey And Oracle. But they were better spellers, so I guess that's what we're going by.
12) The Faces: Someday when the Hall lets
the Black Crowes in, someone is going to have a lot of explaining to do.
11) Randy Newman: You'd think with all Newman's industry contacts, someone would sneak this guy in the door. Even if it's the back door. I don't think Randy would be fussy.
10) Big Star: Cult bands are tricky. Everyone can claim a band as an influence, but if they didn't sell any records or have any hits, it's all a big game of paying the right people, I guess. Or being signed to the right label at the right time. Hey, Clive, you sure
Alex Chilton wasn't on your roster?
9) The Cure: Unless the really old people voting in these Hall of Fame elections finally quit or die, it's unlikely that a new generation that had their lives shaped by this generation of rockers will ever have their voice heard. We'll have to move to England to see justice carried out.
8) New York Dolls: I keep double-checking the Hall of Fame's list of inductees trying to figure out where these well-high-heeled lads are hiding. How can you snub the band that brought us such blatant androgyny? I know, blame it all on
Bowie and keep moving!
7) MC5: Oh are there going to be some angry people in Detroit should
the Stooges get inducted into the Hall of Fame this year. I'm all for it. But considering
Iggy and his boys were considered the baby band to this army of malcontents, well, someone get the voters a copy of
Kick Out The Jams and some earplugs and maybe someone will figure this out.
6) Lee "Scratch" Perry: Oh, you can argue that a reggae producer shouldn't be in the Rock n' Roll Hall of Fame if you want to ignore the music's obvious influence. And I mean beyond Paul Simon, too. Perry worked with
Bob Marley,
Junior Murvin,
Max Romeo,
Adrian Sherwood...what's a guy have to do to get acknowledged around here?
5) Love: Forever Changes may make every classic album list of all-time but don't think that's going to help get
Arthur Lee and his bandmates into this Hall of Fame. Someone's probably saving a seat for
Foreigner!
4) Tom Waits: The folks at Frito-Lay thought he was distinctive enough. Or at least the courts did when they awarded some money to Tom for the chip company using his vocal likeness. He's recorded something like 500 albums at this point. Shouldn't he be admitted for being persistent?
3) Roxy Music: I see
Queen made the Hall. But not
T. Rex or
Slade. And not even these guys.
King Crimson are probably too brainy. But how did
Steely Dan slip past? I assume one day
Brian Eno will be lobbied in by
Bono, who using his influence as head of the United Nations will do right by Eno as he cures world hunger and offers better cellphone reception for all.
2) Joy Division: In the same generational / geographical fix as the Cure. Americans will continue to lionize
Bob Seger and
Bruce Springsteen and John Mellencamp for their heartland rock and turn an indifferent ear towards the working toil of dreary British factory towns. C'mon people, their lead singer even killed himself for a few more "rock legend" points. Can't you people add?
1) Captain Beefheart: Frank Zappa would've made sure the great Captain had a chance. How can anyone be too weird for rock n' roll?
You'd think the music had been created by a marketing department at a computer company the way this stuff is carefully monitored. And maybe today it is. Sometimes it sounds like it. But no one did market research before releasing
Trout Mask Replica and if someone did and said that it would be massively successful, that person should have been fired immediately.
from somewhere unimportant.
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