Erotica: Madonna emerges from beneath the stage in her Dita get up. Mask, boots, fish nets, riding crop.
A dull version of "Erotica" begins. Madonna lip syncs along. I'm so bored during this songs I find myself thinking it would be hilarious if Madonna accidentally poked herself in the eye with the riding crop she runs along her freakishly toned body.

Fever: Madonna removes the mask, scraps the whip and joins two of her scantily clad male dancers for a horny performance of the Peggy Lee classic. Peggy Lee looked like a platinum bull dyke, but Madonna looks pretty cute with her short hair and masculine jawline. This performance is still gayer than a Joan Crawford film festival though. I feel a little sleazed out when it ends. In flames, of course.

Vogue: More lip-syncing. Madonna is joined onstage by her backup singers Niki and Donna, and all her dancers. They wear inverted chandeliers on their heads, and their Voguing seems to be Egyptified.

Rain: Madonna, Donna and Niki don black robes, sit on stools and perform the ballad hit. The stage is bathed in cool blue lighting. I should mention Madonna's frequent smiling. She smiles a lot during this song. But it's unsettling because her neck wrinkles and just watching her makes the muscles in my own face feel sore. It's as though she's doing some sort of intense facial yoga.
The song merges into Marvin Gayes "Just My Imagination" and back again.

Express Yourself: Madonna descends from the rafters on a giant disco ball. She's wearing a giant blond afro, and it's probably the most retarded looking thing I've ever seen. Niki and Donna are decked out in gaudy 70's fashions. Disco whistles and crazy strobes. The song sounds fresher than it has any right sounding at this point.

Deeper & Deeper: All the dancers come out. Colorful feathered boas, everybody pimped out and lots of hot bodies. Madonna leads everybody about the stage, but the song sounds kind of weak. None of the muscle it has on the album.

Why's It So Hard: Madonna and the dancers writhe around, humping and grasping for each other as the song begins. It's actually pretty hot. Luckily she has ditched the stupid blond afro. One of the stronger performances.

In This Life: Everybody exits the stage leaving Madonna on her own. Some blather about AIDS. This song contains spoken pleas, and she delivers the lines like she delivers movie dialogue. Regardless of her intentions, the performance kind of blows.

The Beast Within: A taped reading by Madonna plays as two hot male dancers grapple with each other. I get my first and only erection of the show.

Like A Virgin: A novelty Deitrich rendition of an already novelty song. Decked out in suit, tails and top hat she delivers the line "Like A Wirgin" and does some other caberet shit.

Bye Bye Baby: Madonna, Niki and Donna dressed like men and three female dancers in stupid lingerie. Madonna touches the cunt of one of the girls and refers to them as "fuckin chivs" at the end of the song. Nice.

I'm Going Bananas: Next.

La Isla Bonita: Everything is all Caribbean and piratesque. Madonna stands at the mic and sings the fuck out of one of her best songs. Followed by a dance off by the boys and Madonna addressing the crowds. I sometimes pity Madonna when she attempts to be funny.

Holiday: An American flag serves as back drop to a military-styled rendition of one of her signitures. Not American Life military-style mind you. This is more cartoonish, left right left militant. It sounds great. The sad thing about this show is the newer songs all sound dull, whereas the old played out shit sounds rejuvinated. Where was this energy during Erotica?

Justify My Love: First encore. Costumes are inspired by My Fair Lady, and this song is at least visually impressive. Too bad about the lip syncing.

Everybody Is A Star/Everybody: The big finish. Best part is Madonna running about the stage introducing her band and dancers. It's sort of a heavily rehearsed jam session, and creates the (most likely) false illusion that working for Madonna would be fun. Whatever. The important thing is the short hair has grown on me and I have to piss really bad.

ha!

& i bet no one will even ask what The Girlie Show is.

what a bunch of faggots.

Cleetus, go to hell. You mindless fuck.

I found your twin Aaron. At least in terms of hairline.
"He puts the Rogaine on or he gets the hose."

More of a description than a review. Also, more objectivity next time, please.

Well if it's objectivity you want, you shouldn't be complaining it's more of a description than a review.
A description would be more objective because people could make of it what they want.