| i love sad songs. i think i tend to really love and listening to sad songs repeatedly because i want to feel the kind of pain those songs are trying to capture, romantic, really gigantic losses. i just lost my brother and i can't seem to find a song about losing a brother. i doubt if i ever found one that i'd even relate or cry or purge or whatever. i listened to that song by mazzy star called "look on down from the bridge" at the car before the funeral and i didn't break down in tears or anything. it's weird because some months ago, i can listen to ani difranco's "sorry i am" and get a little teary. emily haines and the soft skeleton's knives don't have your back is the most depressing album last year, in terms of melodies and tempo. i like listening to that and being removed from whatever shit i remember about personal losses. i don't understand any of the lyricism in that album, a bit abstract but when i listen to "crowd surf off a cliff", i can just feel her or get really cold. and nina gordon's sad break up song "pure" is really beautiful and ethereal. the pain in that song is so grand, almost celebratory. i like listening to that.  | 
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