"Don't confuse fame with success. Madonna is one; Helen Keller is the other"
"Best ****ing live act? **** off [on Madonna miming at live concerts]"
"She's so hairy - when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit." -- (on Madonna)
"If my kids turn out like Madonna, I'll drown them."
"Is Madonna a good entertainer? Yes. Is she a good actress? No."
"'My thought is try [acting] once, and if I suck at it I'm not going to do it any more. Give Madonna credit for trying, but why keep it up when you suck at it?"
"What is it about her? She's not a great singer or dancer. She just knows how to market herself."
"Madonna is like a takeaway burger. You eat it and minutes later, your'e hungry again."
"Comparing Madonna with Marilyn Monroe is like comparing Raquel Welch with the back of a bus!"
"It's terrrribly frustrating when - I call them the crotch-holders - make much more money than those of us making quality artwork."
--Eartha Kitt, 1993.
"She looks like she stinks."
--Robert Smith [The Cure].
"I think she looked better with a chest."
"[My fans] lead such boring lives" -- Madonna, circa 1985
"She is closer to organized prostitution than anything else." --Morrissey
"It seems to me that when you reach the kind of acclaim that she's reached and can do whatever you want to do, you should be a little more magnanimous and a little less of a c*nt." -- Cher
"Madonna has knocked the importance of talent out of the arena. She's manufactured. She's made a lot of money and become the biggest star in the world by hiring the right people" -Joni Mitchell
"Armed with a wiggle and a Minnie Mouse squawk, she is coarse and charmless."
-- Sheila Johnson
"She's lapsed, her presence is receding, and she's facing the dilemma of the aging star." -- Camille Paglia on Madonna
"No, she can't act" -- Howard Kissel on Madonna in New York Daily News, 1988"
". . . is this older, wiser Madonna just another way to get our attention? After all, she’s at a critical point in her career, coming off of declining record sales and a movie career on life-support" -- from the 2003 NBC interview with Madonna
"It made it easier to hide her zits." -- Alek Keshishian on why Madonna was filmed in black and white for 'Truth or Dare'
"She will do anything, say anything, wear anything, mock anything, degrade anything to draw attention to herself and make a buck. She is the quintessential symbol of the age; self indulgent, sacrilegious, shameless, hollow." -- columnist Ray Kerrison on Madonna
"I sense that deep down Madonna just isn't a very nice human being. . ." -- Singer Boy George
"You know Madonna just bought a home in the Hollywood Hills with nine bedrooms. You know what that means? No waiting!" -- Jay Leno
"Isn't Madonna supposed to be controversial and independent? Then why did she cancel all three Israel stops on her "Reinvention Tour"? At least now we know how she's reinventing herself: as someone who plays it safe." -- Julia Gorin, from The New York Post, 2004
"Can someone please tell me why Madonna is famous when she's by all objective measures a disgusting, pigeon-throated gutter ****?" -- video review for Die Another Day, by 'The Filthy Critic'
"People are saying Madonna makes great music. It's really rubbish. She doesn't have a good voice, she's boring. Just because she's Madonna, everybody says, 'brilliant,' and 'genius'. I don't think she's ever been a good musician." -- Brian McFadden
"I don't like her face. It's not her fault but I don't like it! "I'm not attracted to her. I don't like the way she moves. She is very - what's the word - vulgar. It doesn't appeal to me to get to know her work any better." -- Francoise Hardy
"Madonna was vile! She behaved very badly. I suppose if she did that kind of thing now, people would find her brilliant. At the time, everybody said, 'Why are we putting up with this?' She was nobody then." -- staff member on French t.v. show, circa 1984
"We yawned through her sex book and channel-surfed when she said the F-word 13 times on David Letterman. But when Madonna graced Esquire's cover in a dog collar and chain [view Esquire cover here], she sealed her fate as Most Boring Woman Who Used to Be Interesting" - from Working Woman magazine
"For Madonna to put herself forward as a spiritual spokesperson while continuing to degrade women by simulating sex acts at music concerts, portray full nudity in her movies, and to ridicule lesbians by performing same-sex kisses merely for TV ratings, is a mockery of her claims to a life of spiritual renewal based on the teachings of the Kabbalah" - Rabbi Boteach
"... What's worse than Madonna's face is her body. In one scene, she's riding an exercise bike. At first, you think you're looking at a gym bunny in bad Madonna drag." -- review of Swept Away by Brandon Judell
"Madonna was, is, and will always be a selfish media *****. Her most rabid fans consist of either women who want to be her, or gay men who want to be her." -- from Beaker's Corner
"She's an awful actress, but she's adequate as a masochistic, two-dimensional floozy." -- David Deby's Dick Tracy review in New York magazine, 1990
"Movies that turn Nazi-loving-Jew-haters like Eva Peron into heroes must be boycotted. . . Madonna has insisted that Evita was the role 'she was born to play.'" -- Barry Lituchy
"As Madonna gets older and less relevant to the world of pop culture, she has begun to pursue cheap, desperate stunts to keep her name in the papers." -- from Celebrity Rants
"I look at my friendship with her as like having a gall stone. You deal with it, there is pain, and then you pass it. That's all I have to say about Schmadonna." --Sandra Bernhard