George Michael Gets Stoned, Eats McDonalds


by Daniel Zugna

October 2 2006

George Michael would appear to have been going for a late-night munchies run yet again, after being found slumped over the wheel of his vehicle in London in the early hours of Monday morning.

Police cautioned the pop star for possession of cannabis after he was taken to hospital. Partner Kenny Goss told the Sun newspaper, “He’s fine and I’ve got him a McDonald’s”. It is unknown whether Michael went the McBurger or McNugget option for his early morning feast.

However, years of field research into the effects of late-night cannabis/fast food polypharmacy indicate that, in all probability, Michael would have ordered a Happy Meal, played with the toy, got bored with it, lost it, ordered McNuggets and all possible accompanying sauces, washing the entire meal down with a thickshake.

Michael was found in a similar state near Hyde Park in February, with the latest incident raising concerns about the singer’s health as he begins his 25 Live comeback tour.

Of the latest incident, A Scotland Yard spokesman said, "At approximately 3.22am this morning officers were informed of a stationary vehicle with a driver inside causing an obstruction at traffic lights in Cricklewood Lane near its junction with Hendon Way, NW2.

"Officers arrested a 43-year-old man on suspicion of being unfit to drive and possession of a controlled substance believed to be cannabis.
"The London Ambulance Service attended and the man was taken to a west London hospital as precautionary measure.

"He was later taken into custody at a west London police station and received a caution for possession of cannabis and was bailed to return at a date in November pending further inquiries on the allegation of being unfit to drive."

A London Ambulance Service spokesman said, "We were called to Hendon Way near its junction with Cricklewood Lane shortly after 3.30am this morning.

"We sent an ambulance and a rapid response car to the scene and one person was taken to hospital."

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somehow i just think we're going to be seeing a homeless man sucking his tit at Wendy's soon.