nothing has changed, except everything. her bad black heart still races to her throat and she hopes the direction of her gaze will not betray her. she understands the language of invisible gestures, impossible to control, and clings to the wall lest she fly like iron-filings to his magnetic north. her body, it speaks a secret alphabet and he is turning like a daisy toward the sun. someone has torn off his petals, completely. another mistake is pinned to his sleeve like a tattered flag, an army of fluttering regrets surrounding his defeated heart. he now knows the chaos of the void, those haunted, hungry, empty eyes have seen skies turn black and glass has rained around him: everywhere he looks another girl reflects, sewing shut eyes and lips and legs. but even now her bad black heart is soft and weak; when he looks at her, she looks back. a second is too long in that half-forgotten gaze and somewhere in a past life, the ghost of her just aches and aches.

they lie like the dead, perfectly embalmed and mortuary cold. the distance between them is carefully measured and they do not touch at all.
she begs for sleep and the maze of dreams in which she can do anything, even feel, but she can hear the others through the paper wall. she can hear what real people sound like. their voices are low and she can't make out their words but she doesn't want to hear them anyway. she knows what comes next, and slowly they start. she puts a pillow over her head but it is not enough and as they move together she hears every squeak and moan. a symphony of pure torture, because she can remember being wanted, being touched. it's there in her mind like a hunger, or a dark cancer, a black sun.
she swims alone into the Yenne Velt, formless and without being, still whole, still real, but dead to the pleasures of the living. somewhere on the edge of nothing, Lilith, the first Eve, laughs and her sacral chakra implodes into dust.
at last the dam breaks and she is Niagara, falling into the dark.

__________________
love is from hell

*shudders*
the black sun reminds me of my dear friend, black sunshine, who tried to do suicide last week.

this is some of darkest stuff i've ever read. using a bit of the Door's lyric - i like it. so what if it's crazy?

it's from another perspective, & coming from that state of mind, i think it's well done. imho

there is a fine line between madness & genious.

that sux sorry to hear it