I am living with people again. It isn't going so badly so far. We take it in turns to put money on the gas/electric meters etc, ditto with general kitchen/bathroom supplies.

Last week my female housemate bought a table. Apparently she'd told the boys about it (they were there when she bought it online I think) but the first I heard of it was when the doorbell rang. Fair enough, I thought, we needed more storage space in the kitchen and this has a rack underneath for pots and pans etc, and it saves me going to the charity shop and finding something to lug the mile back to the house. BUT then later that day she casually mentioned in passing that I could pay her back my share for the table when I had the money - my share of a table that I'm going to get one year's use out of then never see again. It's not been mentioned since, but am I going to be unleashing a demon if I refuse to pay up? Because it's not MY table. It's not OUR table. It's HER table that she's letting us all use. By this principle should I start charging 20p per day for every time someone puts something on my piano, or insist everyone chip in for my rabbit's food because everyone pets him? Are they going to charge next year's housemate for using the table once I've moved out?

Most importantly: am I in the right?


I hate living with people

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She's taking the proverbial, as far as I see it. It wasn't discussed with you before she brought it into the house, it isn't rent, it isn't a utility, satellite TV, a landline or a case of something in the houseshare spontaneously dying and you reasonably being expected to chip in. I would ask one of the boys what the general consensus was at the time she bought it online, did they all say "oh yeah, we'll all contribute to it"? Even if that was the case, you weren't there at the time to offer input, so ultimately, she's coercing you after the fact.

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challenging the heterosexist matrix in a single flounce

"Hello, my name is Rula Lenska and as always, I want to look my best"

Well one housemate is her boyfriend, and the other is far too nice/anxious/compliant to say no.

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Hmmm...maybe it would be easier if you coughed up on this one particular occasion and then draw boundaries from there? You could basically "give" them this one (think of it as a houseshare "tax), but afterwards, make it abundantly clear you're not a soft touch. If the other housemate weren't her BF I would have stood my ground from the get go - the thing is, if you yield on this you HAVE to make a stand on what ever next issue happens to present itself otherwise this will be the thin end of the wedge....

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challenging the heterosexist matrix in a single flounce

"Hello, my name is Rula Lenska and as always, I want to look my best"

Yeah, I'd have to say that very politely saying "I do love the table and it's great, but unless I get to saw 25% of the mother****er off and take it home with me next summer, I'm afraid it's all yours" seems the best option.