i feel so retarded. i had my fifth job interview since march today, for a tourist thing in my city. last thing i know, the lady called me back an hour ago to tell me they hired someone else.

i've been seing a counsellor so i could find a summer job : i've seen him three times, he told me how to search for a job, he tested me with a false interview and told me what i had to work on, what should i say and what not. i felt so confident about myself that day, the last thing i knew is that the job i applied for, after this, didn't call me back, and the next one that was today doesn't want me.

my problem, i know what it is. i'm not good at first impressions.. i'm shy and nervous and i'm not really good at interviews where i have to tell what are my qualities & why should they hire me. i've been working for the past two summers A LOT. 40 hours a week, getting gigantic sunburns and doing a job even a man would not do. this summer i wanted to move on and do something where i can get out of my shell and work with people.

i have a good scolarity and excellent friends, my life is great but i feel like i'm not good enough for public jobs. i'm affraid my parents will end up buying me things and pay my rent for ever and i don't want to be a parasite.