i debated quitting my job on monday but it isn't really an option. i had to do it.

it does get easier the more you do it....that is true. i probably won't have to for a loong time now though. thankfully. it's a great personal growth thing but i'd rather avoid it if possible

Good for you, jess!!!!!!! YOu did it!

What did you have to speak about?

I haven't had to do any public speaking since my school days, thank ****. I'm sure I'll have to do it again eventually.

I’m very comfortable with it, which is kind of surprising considering what a neurotic mess I am, but maybe not so surprising considering how I love to talk. While it probably can be learned, it seems to be innate for me, as I’ve had no training or even very extensive experience at it. I just sort of have a zone where I’m completely calm and unconcerned (I have yet to reach this zone while doing pretty much anything else).

Once I was giving a workshop with my activist group when we were in the middle of serious intra-group problems. Problems that were big enough and affecting me enough that I was screwing up at my job, and I arrived at the college where we were doing the workshop in tears. Within about 10 minutes of the start time, though, it all just kind of went away, and there wasn’t anything in the world other than the task at hand, which I was completely comfortable with. Another time, I was doing something in between a reading and spoken word performance (where I was using a script, but looking mostly at the audience), and discovered in the middle of it that I was missing a page. I stopped and went through all the pages to see if it was in the wrong place, which meant that the whole audience could tell I’d lost a page. I did it again and still didn’t find the missing page. Way, way back in my head I was thinking distantly ‘I really should be freaking out. This is a club full of people staring at me in complete silence while I’ve ****ed up.’ But I just didn’t get rattled, and in general I rattle quite easily. After the second time I went through all the pages, I went on from memory, and everyone that I asked later said they thought I found the page the second time.

I did public speaking today too!
I prepared a presantation about jazz revolution and twenties america for my class.
arrgh!you should hear my voice.I mean my voice was shaking,yes my voice!
I dont know why it happened,I mean I was really feeling relax,all of my good friends were supporting me and watching me with their eyes.

I am quite the same. I know exactly which zone you mean.

I know why it doesn't bother me. I am like you, WW, in that I love to talk. More precisely, I love to communicate. I like to talk, listen, read, write, draw. When English alone didn't satisfy my lust for language, I learned Spanish so that I could communicate with an even larger number of people. I have my sights set on learning German as soon as I have conquered Spanish (alas, I have a long way to go. I can generally carry on a conversation as long as it is relatively simple, and I am pretty good at understanding written Spanish, but my vocabulary, grammar, and comprehension of oral Spanish are all quite weak. )

I'm also not afraid because there is no reason to be afraid. What is the worst thing that is likely to happen? Hecklers? OK, so I might look foolish for a while, and some people might leave with a lasting impression of me as a dolt. That isn't a threat to my life or health, it's just a small embarrassment that will either fade in time or become hilarious in retrospect.

I do way more public performing than actual speaking. I will be performing (singing) at the party we're having this weekend. I might sing well, I might not. I might **** the whole song up, I might leave people with visions of angel choirs in their heads, who knows? Who cares? The song will be over in four minutes, and nobody else is scrutinizing me as closely as I am scrutinizing myself, anyway!