I know, half of you are probably thinking: High school!? I know, it's not the real world yet. And that college would probably be harder and all that jazz.

But, honestly, how many of you have ever been in my position? I am pretty sure you've all been through the stress and pressure of High school... especially during the Junior year.

What I really want to know is... is it worth the stress?

I can fully say that last night was the first night I've been able to sleep straight for more than 4 hours since school started.

I've been trying to slow down for a few weeks now. A teacher (whom knows me very well) came up to me and asked why I always looked to beat... She was worried because she's used to be dressing up with makeup and all.

That was when I realized that I may have taken way too much. For one thing, I sleep for about 2 hours a night... and that includes weekends. I am in school from 6: 30 AM until 5 PM two days a week... and until 10 PM every Wednesdays.

Not only do I have massive amounts of school work... Club work takes up the other 50 percent of my free time.

That and I try to balance my social life... and two weeks ago I figured that I can't afford a social life.

I'm Vice President of Amnesty International.
I'm a member of Model UN (which requires massive amounts of research and paper writing).
I am a staff member of the School newspaper.
I'm a part of the Student government.
I'm usually stuck with editing half of students' essays/reports whenever a teacher assigns them.
I take two AP classes (Lang and Comp and World) and self study two (Psychology and US History).
I can't even EAT LUNCH because half he time I'm running around doing AI stuff/ Model UN stuff.

My weekends are booked with either fund raising for Model UN or the class.

I've got teachers bothering me about joining NHS next year... and really, I don't have the ****ing time to do community service.

My guidance counselors claim that they want us stress free, and yet they hound us about how colleges want 4.0 GPAs and above awesome SAT scores.

I'm OBSESSED with grades/ tests everything. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I figure that I need to join a sports team/ more clubs or else colleges won't take me.

I'm paranoid that I won't 5 on the AP exams. Anything else is unacceptable.
I'm so scared of scoring below a 2200 on the SAT that I spend at least 3 hours a day prepping for it.

I constantly check the requirements of the different colleges I want to apply to... to see what they are looking for (I am well aware it doesn't change).


I've applied (or will) to many different summer programs this year...

from
Governor's school of Arts for Creative writing
Cornell's summer program
Lead America (Law/advocacy)
Rutger's Prep Summer school for Pre-calc (I went to a catholic school 7-8th so I am in regular level math. So, i want to advance to the 'college' level)
Princeton's Journalism Program.



Anyway, so-- I really don't have time for a social life... I barely even have time to shower and dress in the morning. I feel like I am wasting my high school life sometimes.

My friends think I'm abandoning them. I feel like a complete failure. They don't understand me at all... and yet I get where they are coming from.

College admission is a tough field...

I just have this fear that none of my college choices will accept me when I apply next school year..

Hmmm, you definitely need to drop some extra curricular activities. The fact is that for college applications (certainly in the UK) you can talk about activities you DID do as well as do. So its not like your application will be this barren wasteland with just your academic credentials on. Secondly, I think if you don't have time to be with your friends, you will suffer for it and to be honest, colleges are looking for balanced people, and a social life is part of the balance. Thirdly, if you are getting this stressed about high school, you really need to sort out how you deal with stress now or you will meltdown at university. I've seen it happen, there are people who slave away so hard at school so they have the grades, but then they just can't cope with the workload at uni (because they demand perfection and spend so long on it) and crash out. Go talk to your guidance counsellor, they might be able to sort you out.

I doubt my Guidance Counselors would help. Seriously, THEY are part of the problem. Pft, to them... as long as I score high on the SAT,etc I'm good.

And, it's not like I'm a loner or anything.. I am pretty sure I will be voted as the most popular person in the class for the yearbook.

And, it's not the stress of the work load. I'm a workaholic. I *enjoy* the work.

It's more of the stress/ fear that I am not good enough.


it's the work load that cuts away from my partying with friends and such... I don't really mind... but I feel bad sacrificing my bonding time with friends for work...

But what if I don't get into the colleges I want to get into... despite all my work? I would probably be better of living like a normal teenager.

It's like my classmates (the people I have classes with) see me as the party girl person... But then in my groups of friends I am the geeky one.

I love speaking/ discussing work and intellectual stuff with my classmates (aka the nerds), but I can never flak about BDSM, rock music, etc with them.

I can't discuss school work and such with my best friends... but I talk to them about sex, drugs, etc.
I never really fit into the groups, and I think that is what frustrates me the most.


I'm so competitive and driven... that I feel like I have to do EVERYTHING... be the best... be friends with everyone.



And, you are right at uni.. I may be able to handle the workload... but when failure comes... I'd probably kill myself or end up in a mental ward.


It's like this sickness or something.

But, I wouldn't be feeling this if those damn colleges didn't expect a ****ing robot.

You really worry too much about all this. I don't know how the admission proceedure is in the US, but I went to Oxford and I did literally no extra-curricular activities, I just drank and partied my way through the last few years of school. Some of my friends did a bit more then that but the ones who slaved away really hard to build up the *perfect* portfolio generally ended out missing out at uni. I had friends more intelligent, with better grades and better extra-curriculars then me who got turned down because in the haste to do all that, they hadn't had enough time to develop their personalities. Colleges look for people who think in interesting ways, people who can bring something new but releveant into the discussion and part of that I seriously do think, is having nothing to do but time to think. And remember, there is a certain element of luck to it. Your application will land with hundreds of others with great grades, great extra curriculars, probably a lot of the same clubs. They don't always pick out the right ones. If I were you and I were that worried about getting into a good college, I'd try to do something unique to put on your application, something that makes whoever's reading it think "wow, thats cool".

Basically at the moment you are spreading yourself too thinly over too many areas, and you aren't happy about it. You aren't giving anything your best, so maybe drop one or two things and make time for hanging round with your friends and chilling out. It will make you more productive.

Thank you so much... I really needed that insight. My school is ****ing crazy about this whole thing. The competition is so fierce that I feel like if I stop and actually live I'd get left behind.

And really, I ****ed up my freshman year. Basically, the whole deal about getting into sex, drugs, and rock n roll. So, half the time I feel like I need to make up for it...

My freshman English teacher pushed me because she saw I was "advanced" and in love with Literature. So she put me in Honors English 10th grade year... the same with my Science teacher.


So, my 10th grade year I shaped up... I abandoned my dream of becoming a rockstar/ writer... and went back to my basic dream of becoming a lawyer.

As a kid. I've always been ambitious... but then I don't know what happened a long the line... I just sort of got tired and rebelled. I got into everything.

I suppose the whole experience did shape me.

Anyway, I'm going to try and balance everything. You are right about it being luck and such.

And well.. if Columbia or Princeton or University of Chicago wont accept me... too bad for them. I could go to Italy.