I know, half of you are probably thinking: High school!? I know, it's not the real world yet. And that college would probably be harder and all that jazz.
But, honestly, how many of you have ever been in my position? I am pretty sure you've all been through the stress and pressure of High school... especially during the Junior year.
What I really want to know is... is it worth the stress?
I can fully say that last night was the first night I've been able to sleep straight for more than 4 hours since school started.
I've been trying to slow down for a few weeks now. A teacher (whom knows me very well) came up to me and asked why I always looked to beat... She was worried because she's used to be dressing up with makeup and all.
That was when I realized that I may have taken way too much. For one thing, I sleep for about 2 hours a night... and that includes weekends. I am in school from 6: 30 AM until 5 PM two days a week... and until 10 PM every Wednesdays.
Not only do I have massive amounts of school work... Club work takes up the other 50 percent of my free time.
That and I try to balance my social life... and two weeks ago I figured that I can't afford a social life.
I'm Vice President of Amnesty International.
I'm a member of Model UN (which requires massive amounts of research and paper writing).
I am a staff member of the School newspaper.
I'm a part of the Student government.
I'm usually stuck with editing half of students' essays/reports whenever a teacher assigns them.
I take two AP classes (Lang and Comp and World) and self study two (Psychology and US History).
I can't even EAT LUNCH because half he time I'm running around doing AI stuff/ Model UN stuff.
My weekends are booked with either fund raising for Model UN or the class.
I've got teachers bothering me about joining NHS next year... and really, I don't have the ****ing time to do community service.
My guidance counselors claim that they want us stress free, and yet they hound us about how colleges want 4.0 GPAs and above awesome SAT scores.
I'm OBSESSED with grades/ tests everything. I feel like I'm not doing enough. I figure that I need to join a sports team/ more clubs or else colleges won't take me.
I'm paranoid that I won't 5 on the AP exams. Anything else is unacceptable.
I'm so scared of scoring below a 2200 on the SAT that I spend at least 3 hours a day prepping for it.
I constantly check the requirements of the different colleges I want to apply to... to see what they are looking for (I am well aware it doesn't change).
I've applied (or will) to many different summer programs this year...
Governor's school of Arts for Creative writing
Cornell's summer program
Lead America (Law/advocacy)
Rutger's Prep Summer school for Pre-calc (I went to a catholic school 7-8th so I am in regular level math. So, i want to advance to the 'college' level)
Princeton's Journalism Program.
Anyway, so-- I really don't have time for a social life... I barely even have time to shower and dress in the morning. I feel like I am wasting my high school life sometimes.
My friends think I'm abandoning them. I feel like a complete failure. They don't understand me at all... and yet I get where they are coming from.
College admission is a tough field...
I just have this fear that none of my college choices will accept me when I apply next school year..