So I had to tell my parents I had a job interview last night, and, apparently, trying to get a job when I am taking a massive 12 credit hours (the minimum required to be a full time student) is one of the more self destructive things I've ever done. I have "thrown them for a loop" and there are "things we need to talk about." "Something led to this" that must be analyzed. And also my stepdad yelled at me about making bad decisions until I cried and they are using the fact that I cried to decide that something is wrong with me and going on with me which, of course, has nothing to do with them, that led me to make such a foolish decision. I was ****ed so I asked why exactly I have to go talk to them when it's going to consist of their telling me what to do and trying to convince me they're right until I ask if I have a choice and they say no (our discussions have followed the same pattern since I got smart enough to notice it). Plus, my mom knew I was applying to transfer to other schools, has even given me advice on how to do it affordably, but apparently she didn't tell my stepdad this, because when I said something about it he got really ****ed off and acted shocked and made a big deal about how I made a commitment (it's a school, not a marriage, no one will be crying over me leaving) and "why do you want to give up your scholarship?" And my parents did spend a lot of money on me this year -- basically my whole college fund -- assuming that after the first year, when I was an in-state student, my scholarship would cover my entire tuition plus a couple extra thousand for housing/books. But it's not like I don't appreciate it -- I feel guilty as hell about wanting to transfer and render it all useless. But I'm miserable here. I've thought about this a lot, it's been a huge issue with me and I've been confused as hell about it -- it's something I decided I really needed to do because I don't see it getting any better here. Especially if they're going to flip out over me getting a job, which was sort of a last resort to find friends and feel independent from them.

Am I wrong for not seeing what the big deal is? I went looking for a part time job, not a sugar daddy. There are plenty of other students who take more hours than me and have jobs and manage not to ruin their lives. I'm in school from 9:30-2, two days a week. I have a few hours worth of homework/studying a week. I have no friends or sports or anything like that to concentrate on. Is it really that insane? And I have to go "talk about things" this afternoon, and I'm dreading it, because I always cry when they start in criticizing me, not matter how determined I am not to.

i think getting a job is a healthy thing (but i too am unemployed so maybe you shouldnt listen to me)
besides proving that you are a capable adult, you would be building much needed work experience. and hopefully friendships and contacts for later on.
jobs are good. if you work enough, around 20 hours a week, especially as a full time student. you definately appreciate what time you do spend at home, instead of sitting there, so bored, wishing you were anywhere else.
also, it makes going out alot more fun, when you have something to be grateful to not be doing. (well, thats the way i always looked at it, parties were much more fun when i had just gotten off an 8 hr day of retail)

good luck in whatever you do though.

That was my idea. As long as I have a day or so off a week, and I'm not working 12 hours the others, I'll have plenty of time for what I need to do. Plus, I would just feel better making my own money. Obviously they're quite overbearing even though I'm 19 and don't live with them, and whenever I protest something they tell me to do, they just remind me who pays my rent. It's ****ing with my head and I want to do something about it. But I can't tell them because they don't see any reason I would want to be independent of them, and would analyze it into something else that would just give them an excuse to take more control.

I can kind of relate. I've found that being semi-independent from my parents is the most ****ing frustrating situation ever. On the one hand I'm a legal adult (I'm 20), I don't live with them most of the time because I'm at uni, I live my own life. On the other hand I've got my mum getting ****y when I have the audacity to make my own decisions without consulting her, constantly asking me when I'm next coming home for the weekend, asking about my finances and what I'm spending my money on. And yeah, whenever I make a decision that she doesnt approve of, she assumes there must be a bigger problem behind it that we need to analyse (because obviously it can't be that I simply managed to make an independent decision that I'm happy with). She spends so long grilling me to get me to talk about this imaginary "bigger problem" that I get frustrated and start crying, which obviously convinces her that there's DEFINITELY some huge problem I'm not telling her about, and we go round in circles. Plus, once she gets an idea or point of view in her head, it's impossible to shift. I could present the most logical argument in the world and she still wouldn't budge because she's totally convinced that she knows what's best for me.

So then I feel like there's no point in even trying to have a calm and mature discussion, and we end up yelling and I tell her she can't tell me what to do (which totally undermines my whole "mature adult" stance). She doesn't seem to realise that while I love her and I do appreciate the fact that she cares and wants to help me, her "help" is given in such an overbearing and opinionated way that I'd rather she didn't help at all. It's like, yes I admit I do sometimes need your advice and help, but that doesn't mean you have the right to FORCE it on me whenever you want. It was that sort of forced advice that ended up in me dropping out of uni last year. I wanted to take a gap year because I knew I wasn't ready to go to uni, and I wanted to take a year out, earn some money, gain some confidence, travel for a bit, and then go back to my studies. But for some reason she was dead set against it (even though in britain it's a really common thing to do). We ended up having a huge row about it, in the end I gave in, picked the first vaguely appealing course I saw, and went to uni. And I was really miserable, hated the course, and ended up dropping out after a month. So in the end I did get my way and take a gap year, but not before I'd had to go through a load of ****ing hassle and stress.

Meh. I'm well aware that I'm not really offering any advice here. In answer to your original question, no, I don't think you're in the wrong and I don't see how a part-time job would be detrimental to your studies. I think it would be a good way of making new friends/contacts, plus part-time work always looks good on a future resume because employers like to see that you've done things other than just study and get a degree. And while the job obviously wouldn't give you financial independence, it's always nice to feel like you're earning a bit of your own money, even if it's just fifty quid a week.

But I also know from personal experience that your parents may not listen to that sort of logic, so...meh.