I guess it's better than calling in Scotland Yard.

Artie looks like utter dogshit. This is very sad.

I've been avoiding Stern, cause I was half-expecting something like this for a while. Artie was going to derail sooner or later. I love the guy, but maybe he needs to go away for a while. He's always teetering at the edge of death, and the show is depressing to listen to. He's like a chubby Amy Winehouse, only with a smaller penis.

If Artie doesn't come back, they should get Colin Quinn. He's a mess, and he's funny as shit.

Artie's behavior is not suprising. Did anyone see when Jessica Biel was on Conan O'Brien last year to promote I Now Pronounce You Chuck & Larry? Artie was the guest after she left and he would not shut up about how he wanted to have sex with her and even when Conan would try to keep Artie on track in the conversation, he'd keep going back to making crude remarks about Jessica. Conan was clearly uncomfortable, and Artie looked awful; more overweight than usual and looked as though he hadn't slept for months.

Colin Quinn? SECONDED.