i love mean-spirited celebrity gossip, but hate it tabloids try and create these priceless famous people moments.

not only do they read as total bullshit, but they're hokey as all motherfuck.

the first one that comes to mind is from a few years back. apparently demi moore and ashton kutcher were eating in some restaurant.
a few tables away was penelope cruz (or was it salma heyak? all well, who gives a fuck) who was also dating a younger guy at the time.

demi notices penelope looking in her direction, holds up her glass and says "here's to younger men."
penelope responds by raising her glass and saying "and to the women who love them."

just fucking kill me. that never happened and i want to beat the person who thought it up.

next is a dinner party at which jack nicholson and anthony hopkins were in attendance.
one of them did an impression of the other in one of his famous roles. say jack did a hannibal lector impression.
anthony responded by doing a jack torrance impression. the other guests were delighted and encouraged them to continue. so they went back and forth impersonation each other.

i hate to think this shit makes some readers day.

i also hate when tabloids refer to celebrities on a first name basis, in a "we're all such good friends" sort of way.
for example: "angelina sucks every cock in town. brad is devastated"

as if we're hearing news about our good friends the pitt-jolies from down the street. or the cruise family who we summered with that one time.

fuck off.

if we're all going to participate in raping these people's privacy for our entertainment, it should at least be ms. jolie and mr. pitt.

That shit would be funny if they did write that about Angelina on the tabloids. My favorite new one is about her being seriously ill, because maybe she looked kinda haggard in a picture because she didn't eat a sandwich or something.

__________________

I like it when mags are wrong, disregard it, and when years later the thing they wrote about does happen, they say WE TOLD YOU SO!!
Like before Angelina had Shiloh, it was BRAD AND ANGIE SPLIT, next day BRAD AND ANGIE SECRET WEDDING and next JOLIE-PITT QUICKIE DIVORCE.
I mean if they would have gotten married and split up all the times the mags said they have, they would be running in and out of churches and lawyers offices all the time.
So Angelina "finally" gets pregnant for real, and it's like "as we told you exclusively back in May 1836, Angelina IS INDEED pregnant with Brad's child".
Yeah, well, they're in love, you're bound to be right at some point.
Same with Nicole Kidman.
If she had been pregnant each time a gossip rag said so, she would have her own football team (with coaches, cheerleaders and a stadium filled with fans) by now.