it's happening again to me RIGHT NOW.

my entire abdomen just gets in crampy gnawing pain?

WHY DOES THIS HAPPEN?

i was trying to eat a nice food. a real food that comes from the earth or something so maybe i would stop shitting my pants.

but i shoud've known better.

and my belly gets all bloated like an africa starve baby.

AND SOMETIMES WHEN I GO SHIT.

after all this horror.

i shit whole pieces of lettuce.

DOES THIS MEAN I AM OPPOSITE OF THE OPPOSITE OF CARNIVOROUS? I CAN'T THINK OF THE WORD FOR THAT RIGHT NOW.

surely there is no such thing as lettuce allergy?

AND.

i love thousand island more than ranch.

can't help it.

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i kind of want to go barf it up to make it stop hurting me.

STOP HURTING ME, YOU SHITFUCK.

right now, the hurting is on the left side under my titboob, but it moves all around. the pain.

i picture the salad moving all around inside there like some kind of shitty stomach larvae.

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what was in and on your salad?

it was just iceburg lettuce w/ shredded carrot and a cabbage and i think slices of radishes.

w/ thousand island dressing.

STANDARD AMERICAN DINNER SALAD.

but it doesn't matter what kind of salad i eat.

THEY ALWAYS DO THIS TO ME.

but i really like salad. just plain boring salads or any kind of salads. I REALLY LIKE THEM, BUT THEY ALWAYS ACT ALL SHITTY TO ME.

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p

salad usually does the same thing to me
thats why i don't like it
which sucks
since i am a vegetarian

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should i choose a noble occupation
if i did i'd only show up late and sick
and they would stare at me with hatred
plus my only natural talent's wasted